I did it
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 213
I did it
I told him, and now I am going between the feelings of scared and relieved. I told him that in order for me to stay with the teens, he had to quit drinking and get help doing it.
I think he was shocked.
He at first said "No, I'll quit drinking hard alcohol. I said it wasn't enough. The drinking makes a mess of this family. It is not working. He blamed it on our oldest teen, saying if she just wasn't so mouthy. I reminded him he said the same thing about HIS oldest daughter when SHE left and moved in with her mother.
He started the threats of okay were going to the bank getting those accounts settled... blah blah blah all the stuff that makes everything FINAL. I told him, you don't have to decide now, give yourself a week. I said I didn't want this either but reminded him, "You are choosing a divorce because you don't want to quit drinking". He said "so all that crap about not believing in a divorce is that, crap?!!!" I answered by telling him that I am the only one working on this marriage. Meanwhile is he merrily drinking "knowing" I don't believe in divorce. Which is not true... I just don't believe you can decide you want somebody else and give up so easy.
We are at work so we had to stop the conversation because employees are coming in and out by then. And that is where it is. I don't know what will happen when we get home but I hope he does not take it out on the teens.
Hoping and praying for strength.
I think he was shocked.
He at first said "No, I'll quit drinking hard alcohol. I said it wasn't enough. The drinking makes a mess of this family. It is not working. He blamed it on our oldest teen, saying if she just wasn't so mouthy. I reminded him he said the same thing about HIS oldest daughter when SHE left and moved in with her mother.
He started the threats of okay were going to the bank getting those accounts settled... blah blah blah all the stuff that makes everything FINAL. I told him, you don't have to decide now, give yourself a week. I said I didn't want this either but reminded him, "You are choosing a divorce because you don't want to quit drinking". He said "so all that crap about not believing in a divorce is that, crap?!!!" I answered by telling him that I am the only one working on this marriage. Meanwhile is he merrily drinking "knowing" I don't believe in divorce. Which is not true... I just don't believe you can decide you want somebody else and give up so easy.
We are at work so we had to stop the conversation because employees are coming in and out by then. And that is where it is. I don't know what will happen when we get home but I hope he does not take it out on the teens.
Hoping and praying for strength.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
Well done.
Now put it into practise & stick by it.
This is about you & your children's quality of life, you can't make him sober so if he chooses not to you must be prepared to walk away.
If you don't you will ride the rollercoaster of addiction until you will probably fall off.
Go for it.
Now put it into practise & stick by it.
This is about you & your children's quality of life, you can't make him sober so if he chooses not to you must be prepared to walk away.
If you don't you will ride the rollercoaster of addiction until you will probably fall off.
Go for it.
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