He lost his shoe...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
He lost his shoe...
Forget the other shoe dropping. He lost it.
I'm not mad though. I don't even think I'm sad. It is reality and I knew it would happen because I don't even need an owners manual on this thing I bought anymore a.k.a. alcoholism. BTDT. (I'm rewriting the original copy I got cuz the first one sucked)
I've been minding my business for the last... oh... 4 months since his brain surgery... damn, has it been 4 months already? Wow. Time flies!!! lol He was doing well. I did me and I was happy for the first time in a long time. Filled the freezer and spent a lot of time working on me while doing it.
We were doing well together IMO. I was leaving him clean up his mess without me saying, OHHHH Lemme help you Baby!!! He got all of those medical bills taken care of on his own and had just recently done paper work for his pay that he said wasn't right. I stepped back and let him do it all. His mess!!! Not mine!!! It was so nice to not have to worry about it. We were repairing our marriage from the HUGE fall out after the accident. He was walking the walk. I saw the change. His actions were matching his words. I could see a genuine change in him.
One thing I've learned since coming here though... is to not count on him to do what he needs to do to be healthy because he's a sick lil puppy and he'll stay sick until he seeks outside help. I can't give it to him. I was asked what his recovery looked like and I remember saying, It's non of my business. It's not and frankly, he had no recovery system. I can not control that. I am powerless when it comes to him. I don't want to walk on his side of the street. I have enough sh!t on my side that I wade through on a daily basis. My side is a bit flooded with personal grief from my own issues that don't involve him. I deal with them in my own way without drugs and alcohol. He's got emotional baggage he has yet to deal with from a young age and I feel it is a BIG reason why he is going through this cycle, yet again. He also told me the accident weighs heavily on him too as he is carrying a lot of guilt over it and what he did. So how does he cope? Ahhh yes, sipping a bottle of vodka.
Our life though has been unbelievably peaceful even though he's come clean on this relapse. I'd of never believed he was drinking if he didn't come to me this evening, waking me up and telling me that he's in trouble and needs my help and support.
Wow. According to him, he's been nursing a buzz for over a month and the boogey man is coming out. Little signs are coming together now and I can see them clearly and all the while, I was minding my damn business. He became sneakier? I don't know but he wasn't the falling down, speech slurring, googly eyed drunk I knew from before. Didn't even smell like a distillery. I, however, am fully aware that just because he's admitted it, things can change on a dime.
I do know one thing... I'm going to keep doing me and let him do him. I do not want to breach the peacefulness of our home over this. I do NOT want or need the extra stress!!! If he can not find his shoe, and threatens the peacefulness of our home, I told him he will have to leave because I will not uproot our kids (puppies) because of his alcoholism. He can go live/stay with his alcoholic mother if he wants that life. And... notice I did not say Girls? We have a new baby coming THIS Friday that has been in the works and talked about for awhile now. The baby *is* coming. He's a 7 week old baby boxer that we named Jesse James (will be called Jesse and/or JJ). This baby is something we have always talked about (a couple years) and I felt like we were in a good place. I know I'm in a good place to care for him regardless of hubby's health atm. The baby is already paid for.
I'm keeping the motto peeps... One Day At A Time.
If you beg me... I'll post a pic of our baby boy!
I'm doing well though and that's the way I'm going to keep it.
I'm not mad though. I don't even think I'm sad. It is reality and I knew it would happen because I don't even need an owners manual on this thing I bought anymore a.k.a. alcoholism. BTDT. (I'm rewriting the original copy I got cuz the first one sucked)
I've been minding my business for the last... oh... 4 months since his brain surgery... damn, has it been 4 months already? Wow. Time flies!!! lol He was doing well. I did me and I was happy for the first time in a long time. Filled the freezer and spent a lot of time working on me while doing it.
We were doing well together IMO. I was leaving him clean up his mess without me saying, OHHHH Lemme help you Baby!!! He got all of those medical bills taken care of on his own and had just recently done paper work for his pay that he said wasn't right. I stepped back and let him do it all. His mess!!! Not mine!!! It was so nice to not have to worry about it. We were repairing our marriage from the HUGE fall out after the accident. He was walking the walk. I saw the change. His actions were matching his words. I could see a genuine change in him. One thing I've learned since coming here though... is to not count on him to do what he needs to do to be healthy because he's a sick lil puppy and he'll stay sick until he seeks outside help. I can't give it to him. I was asked what his recovery looked like and I remember saying, It's non of my business. It's not and frankly, he had no recovery system. I can not control that. I am powerless when it comes to him. I don't want to walk on his side of the street. I have enough sh!t on my side that I wade through on a daily basis. My side is a bit flooded with personal grief from my own issues that don't involve him. I deal with them in my own way without drugs and alcohol. He's got emotional baggage he has yet to deal with from a young age and I feel it is a BIG reason why he is going through this cycle, yet again. He also told me the accident weighs heavily on him too as he is carrying a lot of guilt over it and what he did. So how does he cope? Ahhh yes, sipping a bottle of vodka.
Our life though has been unbelievably peaceful even though he's come clean on this relapse. I'd of never believed he was drinking if he didn't come to me this evening, waking me up and telling me that he's in trouble and needs my help and support.
Wow. According to him, he's been nursing a buzz for over a month and the boogey man is coming out. Little signs are coming together now and I can see them clearly and all the while, I was minding my damn business. He became sneakier? I don't know but he wasn't the falling down, speech slurring, googly eyed drunk I knew from before. Didn't even smell like a distillery. I, however, am fully aware that just because he's admitted it, things can change on a dime.
I do know one thing... I'm going to keep doing me and let him do him. I do not want to breach the peacefulness of our home over this. I do NOT want or need the extra stress!!! If he can not find his shoe, and threatens the peacefulness of our home, I told him he will have to leave because I will not uproot our kids (puppies) because of his alcoholism. He can go live/stay with his alcoholic mother if he wants that life. And... notice I did not say Girls? We have a new baby coming THIS Friday that has been in the works and talked about for awhile now. The baby *is* coming. He's a 7 week old baby boxer that we named Jesse James (will be called Jesse and/or JJ). This baby is something we have always talked about (a couple years) and I felt like we were in a good place. I know I'm in a good place to care for him regardless of hubby's health atm. The baby is already paid for.
I'm keeping the motto peeps... One Day At A Time.
If you beg me... I'll post a pic of our baby boy!
I'm doing well though and that's the way I'm going to keep it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 121
BoxinRotz,
I'm so sorry you are in this situation but happy to hear that you are working on you and have peace in the midst of the chaos.
My RAH is approaching 5 months of sobriety and your post is a reminder to me of one of my favorite slogans "You never know what tomorrow will bring".
Keep the faith! It sounds like you are doing great. Since he's asked for your help and support, now might be the time for him to find a meeting. RAH is attending meetings twice a day and has expressed to me that he NEEDS the meetings to stay sober.
Enjoy the new addition to your family. Will be looking forward to the photo!
I'm so sorry you are in this situation but happy to hear that you are working on you and have peace in the midst of the chaos.
My RAH is approaching 5 months of sobriety and your post is a reminder to me of one of my favorite slogans "You never know what tomorrow will bring".
Keep the faith! It sounds like you are doing great. Since he's asked for your help and support, now might be the time for him to find a meeting. RAH is attending meetings twice a day and has expressed to me that he NEEDS the meetings to stay sober.
Enjoy the new addition to your family. Will be looking forward to the photo!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
I paid my car off on Friday.
And since I knew it would be paid off this month, I went last week and started fitting my new bow together for this year. I hope to have it out of the shop by March and tuned in for Spring Gobbler. We will see. I've got a lot of money tied up in it. It's the BIG ticket hunting item for this year that I'll be purchasing. This is my therapy! lol She'll send an arrow 302 ft per second! WHEW!!! So quiet, all you hear is the impact!!!
Waiting to get it outfitted with a Whisker Biscuit, a sight, and a peep. Then pay her off!
And since I knew it would be paid off this month, I went last week and started fitting my new bow together for this year. I hope to have it out of the shop by March and tuned in for Spring Gobbler. We will see. I've got a lot of money tied up in it. It's the BIG ticket hunting item for this year that I'll be purchasing. This is my therapy! lol She'll send an arrow 302 ft per second! WHEW!!!
So quiet, all you hear is the impact!!! Waiting to get it outfitted with a Whisker Biscuit, a sight, and a peep. Then pay her off!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,062
Hey Rotz
I am sorry to hear that Jim has lost his shoe.
I am thrilled to hear that your shoes are both tightly fitted to your feet with double knots! You Rock!
Your girls are beautiful and JesseJames is a cutie pie!!! What a sweet addition to the family. I can already tell he will bring you great joy!
Enjoy!!!
I am sorry to hear that Jim has lost his shoe.
I am thrilled to hear that your shoes are both tightly fitted to your feet with double knots! You Rock!
Your girls are beautiful and JesseJames is a cutie pie!!! What a sweet addition to the family. I can already tell he will bring you great joy!
Enjoy!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Kat, I love him already and so does Hubby. He is very excited to pick him up. If you could see his face (blurbed out), you could tell he was smitten with the lil fella.
My boots are always laced and double knotted. Thanks!!!
My boots are always laced and double knotted.
Thanks!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Well if it is any consolation, lots of us have to try again and again. I relapsed so many times I thought I would never get sober. I relapsed in the aa program, with a sponsor, going to spiritual study meetings, an outpatient clinic and antabuse. !!! I managed to relapse, even with all that going on.
Some alcoholics walk away from that last drink and never go back. But others go back, often repeatedly. I think it was a combination of my character defects: hopelessly indecisive and somewhat delusional. I went back because I believed in the delusion that I could drink safely.
Now I no longer do that and have 4 solid years. But, when I do the math, it probably took me 2.5 years to get sober.
Some alcoholics walk away from that last drink and never go back. But others go back, often repeatedly. I think it was a combination of my character defects: hopelessly indecisive and somewhat delusional. I went back because I believed in the delusion that I could drink safely.
Now I no longer do that and have 4 solid years. But, when I do the math, it probably took me 2.5 years to get sober.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,429
Bow and baby are beautiful. (I have a thing for guns, knives, and bows
but sure don't have anything as nice as that bow)
Sounds like you do have things emotionally managed really well.
I hope he chooses to deal--it is hopeful that he came clean.
You have stood by him through so much. He's lucky to have you
and I hope he is smart enough to keep you.
On another note,
The hunting really sounds like a wonderful passion and useful
in that you eat from it too.
Hunting turkeys with a bow is pretty major league BiR--I have lots of them
where I live and hike (I'm surrounded by national forest) and they are shy creatures.
Just seeing some makes my day as it isn't easy--can I ask your general "method" for hunting them? How do you decide where to wait, etc.?
but sure don't have anything as nice as that bow)
Sounds like you do have things emotionally managed really well.
I hope he chooses to deal--it is hopeful that he came clean.
You have stood by him through so much. He's lucky to have you
and I hope he is smart enough to keep you.
On another note,
The hunting really sounds like a wonderful passion and useful
in that you eat from it too.
Hunting turkeys with a bow is pretty major league BiR--I have lots of them
where I live and hike (I'm surrounded by national forest) and they are shy creatures.
Just seeing some makes my day as it isn't easy--can I ask your general "method" for hunting them? How do you decide where to wait, etc.?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Box---has he ever attended any kind of residential rehab program. If not--how could it hurt----he DID ask for help.
dandylion.
I have always understood that if you fall off the horse---you should just get up and cl imb back on.
Oh, by the way, I could eat the puppy up!
dandylion.
I have always understood that if you fall off the horse---you should just get up and cl imb back on.
Oh, by the way, I could eat the puppy up!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
I love the puppy pics! My puppy (named Zayne) is now 16 months old!!! He's awesome and I was thinking of getting another but with all of our chaos and Ah's disease, I decided it would be best to have just one dog for now.
Is your other dog a rottie? I love the coloring on your older boxer. My pup plays with 2 boxers at the park named Louie and Chloe and I think Chloe and Zayne have a 'thing' going. But, Zayne's girlfriend, Libby(she's a younger Australian Shepherd whom he hangs out with) wouldn't be happy about the Chloe thing!
Anyway, I'm sorry about what is going on with your hubby. Although, I'm happy that he was honest with you and that he was humble enough to ask for your help. You have the right attitude: staying on your side of the street.
Is your other dog a rottie? I love the coloring on your older boxer. My pup plays with 2 boxers at the park named Louie and Chloe and I think Chloe and Zayne have a 'thing' going. But, Zayne's girlfriend, Libby(she's a younger Australian Shepherd whom he hangs out with) wouldn't be happy about the Chloe thing!
Anyway, I'm sorry about what is going on with your hubby. Although, I'm happy that he was honest with you and that he was humble enough to ask for your help. You have the right attitude: staying on your side of the street.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
First of all, I want to say that is one ADORABLE puppy!
Boxin, I too am sorry he lost his shoe. However, you are such a motivation to me. It is so great you are keeping to your side of the street. His recovery is his own.
I hope you enjoy your doggies. I only have one but I love him, he is my third child LOL!
Have a wonderful and peaceful day!
Boxin, I too am sorry he lost his shoe. However, you are such a motivation to me. It is so great you are keeping to your side of the street. His recovery is his own.
I hope you enjoy your doggies. I only have one but I love him, he is my third child LOL!
Have a wonderful and peaceful day!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I'm so sorry Box, but you are handliing this all so beautifully it is inspiring. I know how it feels to be able to step back & say: I COULD have seen the signs if I'd gone digging on his side of the street, but I'm OH SO GLAD I stayed on my side instead. Free & Peaceful, like you said.
Enjoy your baby!!
Enjoy your baby!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
I love that you have a purple bow. AND YOUR PUPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIES. Ugh, I love them. That little baby face makes me melt.
I'm sorry to hear about your husband. But YOUR recovery is showing, dear. It looks good on you. xxx
AND YOUR PUPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIES. Ugh, I love them. That little baby face makes me melt.I'm sorry to hear about your husband. But YOUR recovery is showing, dear. It looks good on you. xxx
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
