Hammer

Figured this is sort of a general open topic thread about Alanon, AA, (or Celebrate Recovery, etc.) meetings with Child Care somehow attached or associated with it.

I have been to some meetings at a large church in Shreveport that has this. Their Child Care Center is open about 12 hours or so most everyday, to support all the other activities that goes on the church. So that means when there is an AA Meeting or Alanon going on at that church (along with Choir, Gym, Bible Groups, Painting With Jesus* -- yeah, whatever) the AA and Alanon folks can sort of "check-in" their kids. The Child Care Center gives the parent a "pager" like some restaurants use to let you know when your table is ready, to get hold of you if there is a problem. Seems to work Great.

Ok. That is the Perfect, Way-Over-The-Top model.

How about lower-end practical Child Care methods, plans, etc. for Alanon and AA meetings? Looking at *maybe* putting some of that together. Any ideas, discussion, wish-list, cautions, good/bad experiences you may with to add to this are welcome.

THANKS!

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*Painting with Jesus. Yeah, does not exist as far as I know. Just mind-candy for me. I am sort of picturing Bob Ross (yunno the PBS, "happy little trees" guy) as Jesus, or maybe Jesus as Bob Ross. Painting Happy Little Crosses or whatever He would do. My thought for the day -- WWJP? What Would Jesus Paint?


/

JustAGirl1971

Good idea, Hammer. As the mother of teens, this is not an issue for me but I could see how childcare issues would make it difficult for some to attend alanon. None of the alanon meetings I attend include childcare. One meeting does have alateen at the same time and they take kids ages 8 and up.

My church has Celebrate Recovery. I have not yet attended for one reason. Anonymity. I have it with alanon, would not have it at CR. Not that CR does/doesn't respect anonymity. I'm assuming it does, but just that when I walk in that door, I know I will see non-CR people I know, attending other things, and they will see me walk into CR. So, yes, I'm a chicken. Anyway, our CR has childcare. They have recently implemented all phases of Celebrate Recovery... CR for the adults, The Landing for teens from 6th grade up (divided between high school/middle school, and by gender), Celebration Station for the kids, and the church offers paid child care for children too young to attend any of those. The paid child care option is actually available for the CR people and anyone else attending any other event at that time at the church. The care is provided by teens. All families are expected to contribute payment. It is really reasonable, like just a couple dollars/kid, capped at a set amount for larger families. The teens are supervised by a staff member and must have references.

I think staffing with teens is a good idea for keeping the cost down provided: (1) there is at least one older teen who is trained and current in infant/child CPR, (2) the teens are all responsible/respectful teens, (3) there is an adult readily available for supervision. Also, if pagers are too costly, using cell phones can work and be less disruptive to the group (set on vibrate, texts only.) For the anonymity part, maybe the teens could be from alateen?

Don't know if that helps or not? Good luck.

Hammer

CR does seem a natural mix.

Sorry you do not feel confident on Anon aspects there.

I see by this, they are not showing Anonymity as a Principle or Tradition, etc., but I do not know their practices, either way.

Celebrate Recovery Christian Based 12 step program

One thing in the Child Care realm -- that even churches often miss -- is Background Checks on the would-be Caretakers. Because of that, some churches have Perp Paradise.

I would suspect that the "grown-ups" in the background would have to be at least Alanon/Alateen cleared Sponsor Types. The Alateen Sponsor Training class I took covered protection and reporting requirements -- same as the Boy Scout Leadership Training I have done.

JustAGirl1971

I forgot to mention this! Yes, our church does background checks on all volunteers working with anyone under 18. It's similar to the background check the schools use, too. I've done the boy scout leadership training in the past, too. They are more thorough than our church but at least they (church) are making an effort.

On the anonymity thing, to be honest, it's more anonymity for my AH than for me. Not that it wouldn't be tough the first time I walked through the doors but assuming the program is ran with the same love that most other programs in our church is run, I would get over it. I just don't feel like it's my place to out him at church. The kids have each told a couple youth leaders at the church and I will not discourage them from being as honest with others as they want. On the contrary, they need the support. But, I do not feel it's my place to out him (if that makes sense?) Maybe that will change when the divorce is final and we're living separately? Right now, I think al-anon is providing ample support for me so I don't feel the need to share at church? Or, maybe I really am just a chicken, idk. Of course, my family all knows and ironically, many of my coworkers (small/close family business.)

Readreadread

I have my beautiful toddler and I have problems making it to meetings, there are very few with child care that are not during the day. Issue for me since I am a full time working mother. I put the word out so we'll see. I like sober recovery because it gives me flexibility. I did manage to get a sponsor so I think this will help me
work the steps even if I can't make weekly meetings.

hopeful4

Well, CR has two different options depending on how old your child is. They have Celebration Station for younger kids and The Landing for older kids. They each have age appropriate games/messages/lessons that correspond with what lesson we are doing. The idea is for the family to be able to discuss whay they learned in a lesson or whatever that night with their children. It's all very age appropriate. We are very lucky, we have some great college kids in charge of Celebration Station right now who are Early Education majors and are doing a great job.

The Landing has a couple in charge with them. For teenagers you have to be very dedicated to them. They really do so much with them and definitely stay in touch during the week. The Landing at Saddleback (home of CR) is AMAZING. They have after school programs, sleep overs, Friday nights, all kinds of stuff that keeps the teenagers busy all the time.

That being said, our church has amazing support and a pretty healthy budget for our CR program. We are lucky to be able to pay the people who run Celebration Station and to buy all the literature. Our church minister sees CR as very necessary so he makes sure it is well funded. We send on average 6-8 people to California to the CR summit for training every other year. We are very lucky. Not being braggy, it is just that we definitely would not be able to run it in the way it is currently ran without that sort of training and funding.

We also have a nursery for small small children (3 and under). We do run background checks on everyone working with any of the kids from babies to teenagers.

Forgot to mention, all of this is offered free of charge to anyone who wishes to come to CR. It is great because no matter the age of your child there is either childcare or a program for them too so you can always go. There is a nice meal ahead of time for everyone also.

I think it is a great thing you pay it forward so much Mr. Hammer! Hope you guys are all doing good!

Hammer

Great. That is just Good for EVERYONE involved.

Sure. That is what the major Anon aspect of Alanon is about too -- for the AA members -- to let US know to keep our mouths shut. The AA folks have a lot more to be concerned about than us. Not going to go into that much on this thread -- we already totally trashed another about that.



Alanon works for me, too. And yeah, most of our family, friends and work folks I deal with sort of know, too. Work has been REALLY decent on letting me have time-off, as needed, for her Rehab, etc. And some of the guys make up lots of jokes and teasing -- which is a comfort thing to me in Guy-Jerk-Engineering Land.

There is a Very Dynamic Church very near here, I was considering asking the Preacher if they have considered CR. Not so much for me, but a Good Thing is a Good Thing. They could easily support Child Care mapped on top of their Wednesday Evening church activities, as they sort of run an 1-1/2 hour Wednesday Evening Sunday School.

PaperDolls

I think something like this Babysitting Co-Op, is a great idea:
Overland Park mothers start babysitting co-op

Stung

Personally, I'm a weirdo about who can watch my kids because I'm a little protective of them. However, I have a toddler and a baby so I might be more picky than someone with a grade school aged child or older. Only adults who are background checked and trained in CPR and preferably have a background in child development can watch my children.

Currently I use a MDO program when I MUST do something without my girls and the woman who runs it has a masters in child development. Have you heard of MOPS, Hammer? They have a good setup for child care and a similar idea for their program as it pertains to what you're thinking of.

A teenager isn't going to cut it for me. But that's my own personal view.

Hammer

Am I reading this correctly?

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MOPS Home Page

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What is MOPS?

MOPS is a grassroots movement that believes moms are world influencers.

We also believe that incubating hearts and giving just-because-hugs can change the course of history. That’s why we connect moms all over the world to a community of women, in their own neighborhoods, who meet together to laugh, cry and embrace the journey of motherhogod. MOPS groups are rallying women to be more honest, to feel more equipped and to find our identity by journeying along side one another.

MOPS stands for Mothers of Preschoolers, and by preschoolers we mean kiddos from birth through kindergarten. We know it's a little confusing so let's just stick with "MOPS."

We are moms, and we believe that better moms make a better world.

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Add on edit -- I guess you are just talking about the model?

Do they background check the groups?

With Alcoholic Homes, if there is distributed control and locations, how would keep protection from Codie/Alkie home-mates?

Not complaining, just trying to understand the application of the model.

Hammer

I guess the same question on this one as for Stung -- how to protect the kids from other dysfunctional Alanon/AA member households?

Stung

LOL Yes, just the model. Generally, in each meeting they have another few grandma types who watch the babies & toddlers while the moms do their thing/have their meeting. All meetings are (as far as I know) held in Churches, similar to alanon (as far as I know) and then people volunteer in some or are paid in other groups to watch the kids in another room in the church.

Like I said, I'm picky about who watches my kids for this reason: You would need to recruit a few people who are maybe retired teachers or daycare workers to help you out.

Hammer

Understood AND Run Criminal and Background Checks on them.

You are an accountant, right?

Stung

If it were me, I would mirror the same processes that financial institutions practice to hire their employees; do criminal & background checks, credit checks, personal and professional references. But I think you're going to run into having a difficult time finding really good people for next to nothing pay. How much is someone going to pay to drop their kid(s) off at daycare for an hour? It's a field that I only have knowledge from the user end. I pay $35 for 4 hours of offsite care, per kid…but that's in California. My friends in Texas say that everything is much more affordable there.

Hammer

As far as money and profile -- maybe local substitute Teacher would be a good profile. We have a couple of them in our local Alanon. Subbing seems to be a good start at break-out from an Alcoholic house. Typical rates around $100 for a school day. You already know in advance they have been backgrounded and are used to working with kids.

Other model is Alanon/Alateen Sponsor with a couple of Alateen "Senior" kids as a "fund-raiser" model.

Part I am sorting/pondering is the location model -- adjacent or spare space at an AA/Alanon hall? Suppose one would have to be rather selective on that. Some AA locations are fairly creepy.

How about time-of-day for the Child-care meeting? Afternoon/daytime? (school hours for kids over 6) Maybe early evening, as a Play-Date activity for a little older kids?

How about age range needed? What 2 y.o. to 9 y.o. or so?

Stung

Well, now I'm confused. Are you starting child services to provide to people only during AA/Alanon meetings or are you trying to start an all day daycare at an AA/Alanon location?

If it's the former, you would need an off duty substitute teacher for what, 3-4 broken up hours a day (I have absolutely no idea of the schedule for AA/alanon meetings, nor their duration) for a few days a week or everyday, so you'd have people bring their kids in for an hour at whatever rate you need to break even and then you need to make sure that you have enough teachers available to cover the state mandated adult to child ratio or face the consequences.

It really depends on how structured you want to run your operation. If you're going to be paying people, you pretty much have to follow the state laws around childcare since you'll have an employee(s) unless you're paying under the table or have people volunteering. Having volunteers would be the least messy, that's why I suggested retired teachers…the state is already paying them their retirement, maybe they would want to volunteer to do something for their community.

Breezie

Hi Hammer,
We have child care at two of our meetings in town, here is how it works for us.

Both churches have volunteered their toddler rooms with our rent agreement. I think this is probably very generous, but my guess is you can approach them and ask if that would be an option, maybe for a little more of a rent donation each month. Both churches require a backround check on the sitter, but hey, I would too haha. Our sitter is a long time Al-Anon member, she is great. We have two back ups if she is not available, one is another member, the others are the teenage daughters of one of our members. In an emergency, we ask the people in the meetings to take 15 minute shifts down there, but that has only happened once in my two years. We do pay the sitter pretty well for 1 1/2 hours, $25, but both meetings are really big, around 60 people, so it is easily covered with the 7th tradition. I'd personally suggest a little less payment

Not sure what else to cover, but if there is anything else you'd like to ask I will do my best to answer

Breezie

One more thing I forgot, we have a small child care committee that makes sure our sitters are still available and serve as the go between for the sitter and the group. It is just another service position like literature or secretary etc, but way easy

NWGRITS

I'm the only person in my Al-Anon group with small children and no one at home to watch them. We don't have childcare at the church. So, I've missed the last two meetings because the kids weren't willing to cooperate. I used to let them play in their classroom down the hall (meetings are at our church), but I can't do that anymore. Liability issues with the church's insurance and whatnot. I just discovered a CR group here, and am considering it because I can actually bring my kids along and they get something out of it, too.

hopeful4

One thing to consider is to ask your local christian high school if you are just looking for childcare and nothing structured like a "class". I know here the kids do things for different groups and they earn volunteer hours. They are required to have so many volunteer hours per year to qualify for a discounted rate at the school.

Our Celebration Station person we recruited from the local college Early Education program, and she is pretty far into it. She is WONDERFUL! She has the knowledge to run Celebration Station and all children and parents love her. We have a backup person from the same program for when she cannot be there. They already have their background checks because for the school program they have to have it to do their block teaching, so that saved us from having to obtain background checks on her and her backup.

Celebrate Recovery paid for the background check on all the others, although these are people we know very well and were 99.9% certain there would be no problem, and there was not.

I know Celebrate Recovery puts their programs online that you can purchase. It's under resources I believe. If you are interested in seeing what the programs are all about you can go to their web site and it will tell you more. It is WONDERFUL to be able to offer childrens programs above and beyond "babysitting."

Blessings!