TotallyOut

I came home from work yesterday to find my AB on the couch passed out(never went to work). I could tell he had been drinking as soon as I came in the house I could smell it. When he woke up I asked if he had been drinking and got told "no, cause he didn't have any cause the liquor stores were closed". I then found a can of Twisted Tea in his jacket pocket, which I took in asked what it was. he then proceeded to tell I didn't understand he was so tired and when he slept all he did was dream about drinking. Also I was nothing but a snoop cause I looked in his jacket. He then got up and showered and left the house pissed off at me and was gone for almost 3 hours. I went to bed before he got home and when he got home he never even cared if I was there or not. He laid down on the couch and that is where he was this morning when I left for work. He has been through detox 8 times and through inpatient rehab twice. He has never tried to blame things on me before but he is running out of excuses. Don't know what to do, NEED ADVICE.

SCAN2CROW

Totally you need to take care of you. My XABF used me and walk out on me without notice and is now with someone else. I was and still am crushed but I also know it is the best thing that could have happened. He didn't love me he doesn't even love himself. Have you tried al-anon? I know it is scary to walk into your first meeting but I am telling you it helps. Take care of yourself that is all you can do. You didn't cause it you can't cure it or control it. Good luck and keep reading

TotallyOut

No I haven't tried al-anon because the closest meeting is 35 miles away from my house. Thinking of trying the online meetings

SCAN2CROW

I never did an online meeting I happen to be lucky I can find a meeting any night with 20 miles of my home. Pick up some literature and read as much as you can about alcoholism and do something nice for yourself. The focus has to be on you. You can only control yourself. I know you want to help the person you love but it is not your disease and until he realizes he has a problem it is only going to get worse. I am saying this with love because I am right where you are

TotallyOut

I have been trying to distance myself but it is very hard because his family has all but given up on him. He has two kids and they are wonderful but everytime this happens it kills.

SCAN2CROW

It's tough when kids are involved and as much as the kids need protecting this is not your job. Just because his family has given up on him it is not your job to take care of him. I have two grown kids and when my ex walked out they said that they really liked him at first then realized he had a problem and I already brought up my kids I didn't need a grown man in the house acting like a child. You need to take care of you.

TotallyOut

I know its not my job to protect the kids but I know how hurt I am , I can't expect them to understand when I don't.

TotallyOut

I just got a call at noon from my sister in law and he didn't go to work again today. He called at 6:30 and said he'd be in at 8:00 never showed up. So his dad went to see him and he told his dad he would be in about an hour again never showed up. Finally his family is noticing there is something wrong. So who knows what i'll find when I go home.