HealingWillCome

A couple of years ago, I wrote these questions on the inside cover of my "One Day at a Time in Al-Anon" cover, and use them to this day, even though I am no longer with my xabf. They come from Joyce Meyer and her "Living Beyond Your Feelings" book/videos.

- What exactly am I feeling?

- What is it I want that I'm not getting?

- What do I need to do for myself without depending on someone else to meet my need?

- Do what is right even while you feel wrong.


I remember that place of fear all too well. I felt it so many times when I was trying to make decisions about my xabf. Taking myself through the process above was usually helpful, especially the part about figuring out how to meet my need without depending on someone else. The hard part was "doing what was right" when I wasn't always sure what was right. I finally learned that taking some time to sit quietly in prayer was helpful for me. Just sitting still and allowing the truth to reveal itself usually gave me the direction I needed.

You'll get there. Boundaries are easier to enforce when you have found your peace with them. Peace comes with acceptance of your reality. At least it did for me. Fear held me back for a long time. I'm wishing you lots of strength right now and whatever courage you need to face your fears.

splendra

No dear for your own sanity keep the focus on yourself. Believe me as an experienced handler of addicts and alcoholic recovery I found out the hard way that the only recovery that fits on my plate is my own. There is the slightest chance that if you start your recovery he will follow you but there is almost no chance that you can force him to recover.
Believe me if love and/or bitching cured alcoholics there would not be any left.

Katchie

This makes me cry but I can't because there's no place to cry.

HealingWillCome

Oh friend, I've been there so many times. Sometimes I sat in my car in my garage where I could cry and my kids wouldn't see or hear me. Found an excuse to be in the garage if only for a few minutes.

You'll get where you need to be. Trust that all will be okay. Sending prayers for peace your way.

Katchie

This is one if those "could have had a V-8" moments as you quote those words I typed..thank you for pointing out that glaring tidbit to me.

Katchie

Drove the family to a ball game last night and on the way there Ah announces out if the blue he looked up AA meetings while at work. I know he said this just to appease me and it won't mean anything until he actually starts going.