Life begins at 40
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Southern US
Posts: 785
I can totally relate to feeling shock! The irony is that the last couple of years for us haven't been so great and it sounds like yours weren't either... and yet, it is still shocking.
Lol on your AW. I think it's easier to ignore our feelings when the thing that's causing those feelings is out of sight.
Lol on your AW. I think it's easier to ignore our feelings when the thing that's causing those feelings is out of sight.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,429
Hey Lewis;
You're right--keep moving forward.
She may have regrets, but not enough to stop drinking apparently. . .
I think it it all starting to get real for her now.
You are no longer enabling / covering for her, and she is responsible for herself.
She can take this chance and use it, or keep drinking.
From what you've said, she still wants to blame and to bottle. Too bad.
Please don't let it worry you and I think you are very right to have clear demarcation for who has the kids when--that way she will know when she is expected to keep it together.
Keep on your side of the street, just as you've been doing.
Any dates this weekend?
You're right--keep moving forward.
She may have regrets, but not enough to stop drinking apparently. . .
I think it it all starting to get real for her now.
You are no longer enabling / covering for her, and she is responsible for herself.
She can take this chance and use it, or keep drinking.
From what you've said, she still wants to blame and to bottle. Too bad.
Please don't let it worry you and I think you are very right to have clear demarcation for who has the kids when--that way she will know when she is expected to keep it together.
Keep on your side of the street, just as you've been doing.
Any dates this weekend?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: London
Posts: 324
She's chopping and changing her mind.....going from "you spent all our money ..... So I want lots when you sell the house" to "I'm going to get a job, I don't want a thing from you"
I just had to email and ask that she doesn't email again when she's been drinking.
She responded with "I'm not drunk"..... Which by her standards could be anything from sober to 9 cans.
I simply reply again, don't email me when you drink unless an emergency.
She's gone quite, thank goodness.
Date tomorrow night then sat afternoon. Then sunday lunch out with parents and daughter. Then boys home sun night.
I just had to email and ask that she doesn't email again when she's been drinking.
She responded with "I'm not drunk"..... Which by her standards could be anything from sober to 9 cans.
I simply reply again, don't email me when you drink unless an emergency.
She's gone quite, thank goodness.
Date tomorrow night then sat afternoon. Then sunday lunch out with parents and daughter. Then boys home sun night.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: London
Posts: 56
Lewis, your life is like a mirror image of mine, soo strange. lol
I don't need to post, I just look at your thread and it's normally about how my days gone!
Good luck with the chicks
Hammer, you are possibly the funniest person that I've never met!
Thanks all, I'm enjoying the reading, good luck to everyone.
I don't need to post, I just look at your thread and it's normally about how my days gone!
Good luck with the chicks
Hammer, you are possibly the funniest person that I've never met!
Thanks all, I'm enjoying the reading, good luck to everyone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: London
Posts: 324
Got back last night from the city from my friday night date........I read the titles of all the sad threads in here and almost feel guilty that my life is going so good so quick.....but if anyone is scared of leaving their A......like I was.....don't be.
My life has truly begun again. And I hope hers does too.
Lol...I was going to post about my date/weekend....but don't want to bore you lot
My life has truly begun again. And I hope hers does too.
Lol...I was going to post about my date/weekend....but don't want to bore you lot
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 24
Lewis,
I just wanted to say that I made my first post here last night, and the fact that I did so was very much influenced by reading your previous posts/threads.
And reading about how far you have come has been invaluable. It is lovely to hear about the dates too.
I just wanted to say that I made my first post here last night, and the fact that I did so was very much influenced by reading your previous posts/threads.
And reading about how far you have come has been invaluable. It is lovely to hear about the dates too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Around and About
Posts: 1,254
Lewis, it is so good to hear you are finally having some relief from this marriage! Just be careful in dating you don't make any fast decisions (I did and it cost another 12 years to get out of THAT one!). Meanwhile, keep dating a lot of women and go to therapy lest guilt about "being unfaithful" (to any of these new women you meet) guides you into another bad relationship…
Good luck!!
Good luck!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,429
Originally Posted by Lewis73 
Got back last night from the city from my friday night date........I read the titles of all the sad threads in here and almost feel guilty that my life is going so good so quick.....but if anyone is scared of leaving their A......like I was.....don't be.
My life has truly begun again. And I hope hers does too.
Lol...I was going to post about my date/weekend....but don't want to bore you lot
My life has truly begun again. And I hope hers does too.
Lol...I was going to post about my date/weekend....but don't want to bore you lot
Start posting buddy . . . .
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: London
Posts: 324
ok...here's the thing - i typed it up....and I want to share! It's like you lot are friends who have helped me to get "me" back so much....but....
there is a 1/million chance that my wife/daughter/boys will stumble onto this site...I know my wife used it once a year ago.....there is enough in my posts for them to know me and its not stuff thats fair for them to read.....i know, this sounds so over cautious and dumb...but it's how I feel.
But I want to share - its a critical turning point in my life....moments I will remember forever. So, anyone want to know how it went....ask, and I'll PM the post i wrote.
there is a 1/million chance that my wife/daughter/boys will stumble onto this site...I know my wife used it once a year ago.....there is enough in my posts for them to know me and its not stuff thats fair for them to read.....i know, this sounds so over cautious and dumb...but it's how I feel.
But I want to share - its a critical turning point in my life....moments I will remember forever. So, anyone want to know how it went....ask, and I'll PM the post i wrote.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Much appreciated, Lewis....just as a reminder:
9. If it shouldn't be viewed by minors, then it shouldn’t be posted to the forums or chat rooms. This is a public, family-friendly forum. In addition, if something would not be considered “work safe” (to a boss or co-worker), then it shouldn’t be posted.
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