Pamel

Lewis, here's this morning's sunrise for you.

Seren

I'm so glad your home and your boys home is now peaceful! I hope and pray it continues.

hopeful4

So glad you had some peace, true love from your children, good times, and good food!

Good Report Lewis!!!

jkb

I love your new thread... and just want to keep up with your amazing new life.

Jess

feeling-good

Hi Lewis - hope today has gone well for you and yours

Lewis73

hi all,

Nothing to report....life is good!

My mother did a bit of babysitting last night for an hour as I had to see a client in the evening. First time she's been in the house in a year+ ....kids loved it.

Got the house valued, looks like we will sell...rent, then buy in a few years. It settles a lot of financial issues.......it's weird, I had all these visions for this house - extending it, living hear for ever....now it just feels like a base, not a home.

Haven't heard from AW. She has the boys for tea tomorrow. I heard via a friend who's still on here FB that she currently has a bad hand.....fell down in the dark due to it being a new house.....she said!

Enough of that...life is ok.

Except....sorting out loads of old paperwork and found my daughters birth/medical notes stuff......it shows the nurse notes from the visits they do with new mums for the first few months. Everyone of the 6 or 7 visits and the nurse notes "mum tired".
Don't know why...just made me sad. Wish I could go back and do some of that early stuff again (and yes, I know all mums get tired......but I just wish I'd held the baby more and told her to go get some sleep)

Stung

If it makes you feel any better, my youngest turned 6 months old this week and I wish I would have accepted the help that my friends and family were offering to me so I could have slept more but I turned them all down because I wanted to hog all of the yummy newborn baby goodness. Maybe your wife would have been the same, who knows, its in the past. Onward and upward, you're doing amazing things for all of your kids in the now and THAT is what is important.

Keep it up, sounds like you're doing a fantastic job!!

Lewis73

yep, accepting that I wasn't as good as I could have been is proving tough. I don't know if its turning 40, the divorce or what....I just feel so full of regrets. Seeing my counsellor tomorrow.....if nothing else I'll get a nice coffee and chat out of it

jarp

I am so happy for you. I am new here and haven't commented on your thread as I haven't felt worthy!! I've read from the start...your growth is inspirational. THANK YOU so much for sharing your life with us, and I can only hope that I am as brave ass you have been in my own journey with my A. I hope things continue onwards and upwards for you.

hopeful4

Proud of you! What a kind person you are Lewis! You can do this!!

Refiner

So happy to hear you've started your new chapter of your life and you sound in great spirits! Which you should be! I hope the kids' visit for tea works out well. Please let us know. (and how her hand is when she fell "because it was a new house" LOLOLOL, riiiight)

Lewis73

Well, the kids enjoyed tea.

It's early days so I can't expect much....however, typical stuff happened. The youngest was ill at school so they called her (she is on the list as 1st person to call) - this was 1pm so she had a friend give her a lift to school to get him....then another friend get the older one from school...then walked them home telling them some nonsense about the car not working.

As I say, early days...I hope its not a pattern that continues.

hopeful4

Lewis, can you change it to you being the #1 contact since you have primary custody right now?

Lewis73

thats tricky....in my AW's mind we have shared custody. there is no court order.

deep down she realises that their home is here...but if you asked her she'd say they had two homes.

so if i do something like that it will reinforce a situation she is not going to want to face....and she could react badly.

i have to pick my battles....as it was, her mate getting the kids was better than me doing it only to have to take him there later anyway.

so long term...yes....but right now, i just bite my lip.

hopeful4

I see. Well, at least in the past she has shown she will not drive w/them in the car and did the same today. That is a good thing.

MissFixit

check with your lawyer about the contact and pick up thing. you might be setting a precedent without realizing it that re-enforces her as the primary caregiver or a fit mom.

hopeful4

Myself, I would think you are the primary parent because you have the wheels to be able to get them. What if her mate could not go or she could not get you on the phone?

For both my kids (who go to different schools), it is a simple matter of logging into their school accounts and changing around the info.

Lewis73

right.....and in a way, a good thing that her friends see she needs thats sort of help.

the more open it is the better.

next week will be the toughy....she has them 2 nights then the weekend.....with driving needed each night.

staying no contact is hard...she just emailed to ask if she can pop in tomorrow to get some bits she left.....i just said "yes"....she said "i'll be quick" - its tempting to say "no rush, how are you" etc, etc.....i know tonight will be hard for her....she had the boys...now wont see them till next tues....its tough and lonley.

Lewis73

points above about primary care noted....i will look into this

hopeful4

It's tough and lonley and she choose this Lewis. It did not have to be that way, these are HER consequences. Don't let your guard down. If you are going to let her in, do make her be quick. I also hope you have educated your children in spotting someone who has been drinking so they don't get in the car with her. It's not perfect but at least there are things they can look for.