breaking the three month insane cycle
 

Hi, I am wishing I'd not gone back to my alcoholic ex bf back in August and November. We've been 'together' for a year and half with him telling me to F off every 3 months, getting back together, him stopping drinking for a week or 2 (he managed 3 weeks once-what a difference in him!) him having a 'slip' and it increasing to the point where he is just in a relationship with beer and isn't bothered about me and he's spent all his money on beer (we never lived together thank god). Its always Monday he will stop with the usual lines of i don't want to do it anymore etc etc.....We saw each other twice a week as I took a step back from his lies, empty promises and behaviour when he was drinking. Friday night we had an argument - I told him I was sick of being made to feel like I don't matter and having to watch what I say and walking on egg shells-I also said I wasn't going to spend another year like last year going round in circles. He had said earlier in the night that he was going to AA monday after a year away whilst slurping can number 2. I am posting this because I know what is coming this next week-him contacting me to tell me more of the same - Im giving up drinking I love you so much etc...because I know I have been a great girlfriend. But I deserve better than feeling anxious and wondering what i'll be walking into. Day 3 of no contact and today I know I've done the right thing. I hope I don't forget all the bad when he does get in touch.

Write down a list of what ur not missing and how all this makes you feel in case ur tempted. I found NC incredibly difficult at first but now it (mostly) brings me a sense of peace and lets me slowly recover. Stay strong. It sounds like you're making the right decision for you.

Thanks I have already and ive been keeping a diary. It's early days but I already feel relieved