Sometimes This Hurts So Much
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 214
Sometimes This Hurts So Much
It hurts when I see my kids try to keep their dad company, so he won't "get lonely and want to drink."
When I set my boundaries, try to be neutral, and get called crazy, stupid, weak, the cause of all the problems.
When my kids copy their dad's attitude toward me.
When I walk away strong and then burst into tears. What if I am causing this?
When I think that, if I WAS a better person, this would all hurt so much less.
When it seems like every day, I have to be stronger than I ever thought I could--even though it doesn't make any difference.
When I worry that something might happen to me, and the kids will have their drunk dad--or end up with another dysfunctional relative.
When I see how powerless I am, and how much this is affecting everybody. It gets really hard to bear sometimes.
I go to al anon. I have a sponsor. I have a therapist I see occasionally. There's good in life, and I try to focus on that. But this is a horrible experience for everyone involved. Thanks for letting me vent
When I set my boundaries, try to be neutral, and get called crazy, stupid, weak, the cause of all the problems.
When my kids copy their dad's attitude toward me.
When I walk away strong and then burst into tears. What if I am causing this?
When I think that, if I WAS a better person, this would all hurt so much less.
When it seems like every day, I have to be stronger than I ever thought I could--even though it doesn't make any difference.
When I worry that something might happen to me, and the kids will have their drunk dad--or end up with another dysfunctional relative.
When I see how powerless I am, and how much this is affecting everybody. It gets really hard to bear sometimes.
I go to al anon. I have a sponsor. I have a therapist I see occasionally. There's good in life, and I try to focus on that. But this is a horrible experience for everyone involved. Thanks for letting me vent
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
(((((((((fairlyuncertain)))))))))))
Sending you a shot of courage....hope some peace of mind is yours tomorrow. You sound exhausted. Maybe do something nice for just yourself in the next 24 hours? Be gentle with yourself....
Peace,
B.
Sending you a shot of courage....hope some peace of mind is yours tomorrow. You sound exhausted. Maybe do something nice for just yourself in the next 24 hours? Be gentle with yourself....
Peace,
B.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 490
Originally Posted by fairlyuncertain 
It hurts when I see my kids try to keep their dad company, so he won't "get lonely and want to drink."
When I set my boundaries, try to be neutral, and get called crazy, stupid, weak, the cause of all the problems.
When my kids copy their dad's attitude toward me.
When I walk away strong and then burst into tears. What if I am causing this?
When I set my boundaries, try to be neutral, and get called crazy, stupid, weak, the cause of all the problems.
When my kids copy their dad's attitude toward me.
When I walk away strong and then burst into tears. What if I am causing this?
Are you planning to hang in there?
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 65
Oh sweetie, it's never easy and some days are better than others with our own feelings. I hated watching my DD at 5 YO trying to engage with my STBAXH, and it hurt that he didn't see it so I can relate. Take good care of yourself and ur children. As above, are you making plans to stay or go? Hugs.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
That kind of life sucks when it comes to raising children and if they are treating you like he is, you need to get them out of there asap! It will get worse for those kids and you, especially if they are not teenagers yet! I promise you, if you stay, those kids will take on that EFF you attitude your man has and all of your lives will be screwed!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,429
I agree with BiR--if it is moving into children's attitudes you really need to get out.
You can divorce him, but you will have the children the rest of your life, even as adults, to deal with. This is a very bad dynamic to be "training" them in.
Best to you. I'm sorry you are hurting.
You can divorce him, but you will have the children the rest of your life, even as adults, to deal with. This is a very bad dynamic to be "training" them in.
Best to you. I'm sorry you are hurting.
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