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Courage To Change 01/16/2014

Old 01-16-2014, 08:10 AM
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Behold the power of NO
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Courage To Change 01/16/2014

There was a time when, if a thought entered my mind, it automatically came out of my mouth. Even if I wasn't sure that what I was saying was true, the words poured out of me. In Al-Anon I have learned to "Think" before I speak.
When I'm tempted to respond to angry accusations with accusations of my own, I stop and "Think". When I have an urge to betray a confidence, to gossip, or to tell something extremely personal to a total stranger, I stop and "Think". And when my opinion about another person's business has not been requested, I take the time to "Think" before I get involved. That way I make a conscious choice about how I will respond.
Perhaps I will decide to say nothing, or choose a more tactful way to proceed, or question whether I really mean what I have been thinking. I may decide that this is not an appropriate place to discuss what is on my mind. Or I may choose to go right ahead and speak up in a very direct manner. Regardless of which option I select, today I am willing to accept the consequences of my actions because I have taken the time to make a choice.

Today's Reminder


Today I will let my words serve my best interests. I will choose them with care.

"I don't let my mouth say nothin' my head can't stand."
~Louis Armstrong
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Old 01-16-2014, 08:31 AM
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There is a wonderful line of dialogue from an old Simpsons episode where Meryl Streep plays a bully in Bart's class that he falls for hard and fast. As he is trying to act cool with her on the playground at school, she asks him -- in a coy, sweet voice, just dripping with cruelty, "Do you ever think anything you don't say?"

That line has kept me in check more than once in my time. Thanks for posting!
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Old 01-16-2014, 09:45 AM
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Well, I feel like I am making progress. Thank you for sharing this. My boss sent all of us a rather aggressive email yesterday. I politely said I have a response but would like to think about it for a bit before I send it.

Today I changed quite a few things in my response before I sent it because yesterday it was coming from hurt feelings. Today it was coming from a simple business response. I am very glad to have thought and pondered on it before I sent something I would have regretted.

I am a slow learner...but I am getting there!
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Old 01-16-2014, 10:25 AM
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This is interesting-- I am thinking about firesprite's thread started today on instinct--and listening to it instead of all that thinking--
and I'm wondering where the balance is between the two.
I don't know.
It's one of those million dollar questions.
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Old 01-16-2014, 11:05 AM
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Thank you. I needed this today. Because I think I'm working in the same place as hopeful4 and I will tell my boss that same thing.
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