MsJojo

Hi all,
I finally got to the point of filing for divorce. Sent paperwork to the court at the weekend and had it returned to me today because there was " insufficient evidence of unreasonable behaviour"
The court official has clearly never lived with an A
I'm in the UK and addiction is classed as unreasonable behaviour so I just wrote " Mr Jojo is an alcoholic and due to his periods of active alcoholism has not lived with the family since April 2012"

I still love him but have come to the end of the road. I'm hoping to do this fairly amicably and don't want to mud sling.
(were I to, his behaviour's have included verbal abuse, disappearing acts ( including those where he leaves the country and struggles to get back, drinking binges lasting weeks where he stays in bed and vomits on himself etc )
Any advice on how to do this nicely? Or do I just have to write down all the incidences?
Thanks xx

atalose

How about:
Mr. Jojo abandons his family, sometimes for weeks at a time – then list dates that this has occurred.
Mr. Jojo becomes verbally abusive after he has been drinking – examples – list examples of things he has said while intoxicated to you or anyone else.
Mr. Jojo after drinking vomits on himself and remains in bed for days at a time – then list some dates

You don’t have to get wordy and explain it in a novel where you are making him out to be jack the ripper just stick with facts.

hopeful4

Amen!!!

MsJojo

thanks ... i know you're right.. I suppose I just didn't want to have to write it down ( except for here of course, where it doesn't really count ;-) )

owathu

I'm surprised that abandoning your family for over a year isn't considered "unreasonable behavior" in the UK.

Maybe add:
Mr JoJo has not contributed to the household finances since 2012
Mr JoJo has abandoned his family and does not consider himself responsible for the emotional or physical upkeep of said family
Mr JoJo is an active alcoholic and is not seeking recovery.
Mr JoJo is not seeking recovery and refuses to do so at the detriment to his family and this marriage.
Mr JoJo has not been able to have marital relations since 2012 because of his alcohol abuse
Mr JoJo puts his family in emotional and physical danger because of his alcohol abuse


Maybe the court clerk is an alcoholic and thinks everything is not a big deal, much like many alcoholics.

MsJojo

Thanks, that made me laugh!!

I was amazed that it wasn't accepted here either. How is it that you can get married and have babies with an A without the state questioning it, but try to get a divorce????

lillamy

Yeah, going through a divorce made me hate government. It's just utterly disgusting that somebody else can tell me whether or not I have to stay married to someone. Yuck.

Tentindependent

The divorce laws in this country really irritate me - and that's an understatement!

I agree with the other replies - list a few examples, use factual wording and that should be enough.

I suppose leaving your family for over a year doesn't count here unless it gets to two years, in which case its possible to go the 'after 2 years separation with consent of both parties' route.

NoelleR

It sounds like you're going for 'desertion ad separation' as your grounds for divorce. Have you considered using a different grounds; 'unreasonable behavior' perhaps......................:

'Unreasonable behavior applies to all areas of divorce. It is the most common reason behind divorces because it is so broad. Unlike filing for desertion or separation with consent, unreasonable behavior allows for a quick divorce. This is for situations in which there was no adultery. In a nutshell, most people who cite unreasonable behavior cannot stand to be married a second longer for a variety of reasons: spouses may argue constantly, have little or nothing in common, or no longer love each other.'

Just a thought
(o:
NoelleR