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The Monkey, The Cookies, and The Jar

Old 06-07-2002, 08:16 AM
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Morning Glory
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The Monkey, The Cookies, and The Jar

I've been thinking about our addiction and this is what I've come up with.

The Monkey- that is us

The Jar- that is our A

The focus has been on letting go of the jar on a lot of the posts.

Remember the monkey couldn't let go of the jar because he wouldn't let go of the cookies.

What are the cookies???

My cookies were and are:

Fear
Guilt
Worry
False Hope
Self Condimnation
Denial
Past Trauma
Acceptance through Performance
The pattern of trying to get what I never got.
Lack of trust
Fear of rejection
etc....

If you let go of the cookies, the jar will just fall off. If your focus is only on the jar and not the cookies, you will never be able to let go.

What are your cookies???
 
Old 06-07-2002, 08:25 AM
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Good One Mg,

Ok, I have sat here a minute trying to think, my biggest one (or cookie) is fear of unknown, for sure, or just fear in general.
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Old 06-07-2002, 08:25 AM
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Ooooh! this is great! I have to think about it... but just immediately, the lyrics to "stand by your man" started running through my head. So, I'm going to start my list with "impossible ideals".
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Old 06-07-2002, 08:28 AM
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I forgot my biggest cookie,

The fear that someone will die if I don't take care of them
 
Old 06-07-2002, 08:43 AM
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Ann
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This is great MG

There is nothing to fear except fear itself!!!

(can I still serve milk and cookies?..they can be "recovery cookies" never were in any jar, but right there for the taking)

Hugs
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Old 06-07-2002, 09:03 AM
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That was great MG -

Let's see........ I think I'm with Bonbon on this one. My biggest cookie is fear of the unknown... fear of being abandoned.. fear of missing out on something.

I'm going to think about this and get back with you guys. You know I always chased after my dad around different bars just to spend time with him eventhough he was drunk. It was like - I did and still do want and or need his approval just like I do with my husband. For some reason I feel as though I want or need my husband's approval, attention, and affection. I know in my head that I don't need thins from either of them. They are the ones ill but my heart tells me something different.

My whole life I'm been told either I'm stupid, used to be fat, now I'm too thin, too fair skinned, crazy, or something is always wrong with me. I am really struggling deep down with breaking free from all of this chaos that runs wild within me. I don't know how to do it.

I'm trying to do some of the exercises in Melody Beattie's book - Co-dependant No More but I'm having a difficult time. I honestly don't know what it is I want or need and how to idenify my feelings. Damn....this is so hard.

Dealing with my husband and how he ignores our children and acts like that don't matter has brought alot of buried feelings that I've had about my own childhood and father.

Thanks for listening!! Hugs to all

Love,
Galnva
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Old 06-07-2002, 10:48 AM
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Wow, what a great question!! I have so many but I think my biggest "cookie" would be knowing if I let go of all my cookies and the jar falls away I would no longer be able to spend all my time looking at his faults. I would have to be faced to look at myself (I'm very new...just started my step one)! This is something I fear so much!!
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Old 06-07-2002, 11:02 AM
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Brooker,

I love your avatar! I feel like your avatar

MG
 
Old 06-07-2002, 11:40 AM
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MG,
That is why I picked it! I looked through every single one. Many felt okay but this one just felt right for my personality
B
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Old 06-07-2002, 11:45 AM
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Ann
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AND ONCE HE "LET'S GO" WILL THAT MONKEY REACH INTO THAT OLD JAR AGAIN???

<img src="http://www.baltobluegrass.com/bbggraph/monkey.gif" alt=" - " />

Hugs

P.S. Brooker - that is great!
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Old 06-07-2002, 03:51 PM
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One of my other cookies,

 
Old 06-07-2002, 04:34 PM
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Ann
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WAIT NO MORE MG....YOUR KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR

<img src="http://www.d20reviews.com/Pozas/Pictures/FDP/skeleton.jpg" alt=" - " />

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Old 06-07-2002, 04:51 PM
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IS ANYONE SERIOUS AROUND HERE ANYMORE!!??



Control would be mine....step one...and always working on it..
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Old 06-07-2002, 06:17 PM
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Perfect couple Ann!

JT, I think ALL the cookies are control based.

Just my opinion,

MG
 
Old 06-07-2002, 11:51 PM
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Hmmmm,
Fear-they or someone is going to get
hurt.
Worry-they or someone is going to get
hurt.
Guilt-this is all my fault, I was a
terrible mother-(getting past that one).

M.G., I was thinking we could flip a
coin for one of Den's Friday Night
Boys.
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Old 06-08-2002, 06:34 AM
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Hi All

My greatest fear is that my daughter will die in her addiction and I will be left with the thoughts/feelings that I did not do everything I could to stop it. Crazy. .but honest. This disease of addiction is treatable. .and that is what really hurts. I lost a sister last October to addiction. .and my husband's two brothers have also died from addiction.

Here in western Pennsylvania we have a terrible heroin epidemic. .and oxycontin problem. In our small community there have been 7 deaths this year from heroin overdose. .very scarey. .and that fear sends me right back into that cookie jar at intervals. .thank God and (Soberrecovery) each time is getting further and further apart.

Take care friends. . Love Maureen <img border="0" alt="[Mad!]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/mad3.gif" />
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Old 06-08-2002, 06:37 AM
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Hi Mo!
I think I should add that one to my list, too.

(((((((((((((((MO!)))))))))))))))))

Love,
Smoke
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Old 06-08-2002, 10:25 AM
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Morning Glory
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Maureen,

I know just what you mean about fear sending you back in the cookie jar. I am learning to appreciate the time when I'm out. I try not to look ahead and just deal with today.

I've learned that looking into the future is a cookie for me too.

Hugs,

MG

Josie, I want the one on the right
 
Old 06-08-2002, 11:00 AM
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Um... the one on the right, if you mean OUR right, in the red shirt, is Mad Dog. Are you sure?
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Old 06-08-2002, 11:57 AM
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Ann
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MG and Josie

Never date a man named "Mad Dog"...Never date a man who can wiggle his ears...And never date a man who wasn't good enough for Smoke...she's a pro at spotting losers

<img border="0" alt="[Moon]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/moon.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> Where did Bob find this one?
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