The Monkey, The Cookies, and The Jar
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The Monkey, The Cookies, and The Jar
I've been thinking about our addiction and this is what I've come up with.
The Monkey- that is us
The Jar- that is our A
The focus has been on letting go of the jar on a lot of the posts.
Remember the monkey couldn't let go of the jar because he wouldn't let go of the cookies.
What are the cookies???
My cookies were and are:
Fear
Guilt
Worry
False Hope
Self Condimnation
Denial
Past Trauma
Acceptance through Performance
The pattern of trying to get what I never got.
Lack of trust
Fear of rejection
etc....
If you let go of the cookies, the jar will just fall off. If your focus is only on the jar and not the cookies, you will never be able to let go.
What are your cookies???
The Monkey- that is us
The Jar- that is our A
The focus has been on letting go of the jar on a lot of the posts.
Remember the monkey couldn't let go of the jar because he wouldn't let go of the cookies.
What are the cookies???
My cookies were and are:
Fear
Guilt
Worry
False Hope
Self Condimnation
Denial
Past Trauma
Acceptance through Performance
The pattern of trying to get what I never got.
Lack of trust
Fear of rejection
etc....
If you let go of the cookies, the jar will just fall off. If your focus is only on the jar and not the cookies, you will never be able to let go.
What are your cookies???
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Ooooh! this is great! I have to think about it... but just immediately, the lyrics to "stand by your man" started running through my head. So, I'm going to start my list with "impossible ideals".
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
This is great MG
There is nothing to fear except fear itself!!!
(can I still serve milk and cookies?..they can be "recovery cookies" never were in any jar, but right there for the taking)
Hugs
There is nothing to fear except fear itself!!!
(can I still serve milk and cookies?..they can be "recovery cookies" never were in any jar, but right there for the taking)
Hugs
Paused
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Virginia
Posts: 175
That was great MG -
Let's see........ I think I'm with Bonbon on this one. My biggest cookie is fear of the unknown... fear of being abandoned.. fear of missing out on something.
I'm going to think about this and get back with you guys. You know I always chased after my dad around different bars just to spend time with him eventhough he was drunk. It was like - I did and still do want and or need his approval just like I do with my husband. For some reason I feel as though I want or need my husband's approval, attention, and affection. I know in my head that I don't need thins from either of them. They are the ones ill but my heart tells me something different.
My whole life I'm been told either I'm stupid, used to be fat, now I'm too thin, too fair skinned, crazy, or something is always wrong with me. I am really struggling deep down with breaking free from all of this chaos that runs wild within me. I don't know how to do it.
I'm trying to do some of the exercises in Melody Beattie's book - Co-dependant No More but I'm having a difficult time. I honestly don't know what it is I want or need and how to idenify my feelings. Damn....this is so hard.
Dealing with my husband and how he ignores our children and acts like that don't matter has brought alot of buried feelings that I've had about my own childhood and father.
Thanks for listening!! Hugs to all
Love,
Galnva
Let's see........ I think I'm with Bonbon on this one. My biggest cookie is fear of the unknown... fear of being abandoned.. fear of missing out on something.
I'm going to think about this and get back with you guys. You know I always chased after my dad around different bars just to spend time with him eventhough he was drunk. It was like - I did and still do want and or need his approval just like I do with my husband. For some reason I feel as though I want or need my husband's approval, attention, and affection. I know in my head that I don't need thins from either of them. They are the ones ill but my heart tells me something different.
My whole life I'm been told either I'm stupid, used to be fat, now I'm too thin, too fair skinned, crazy, or something is always wrong with me. I am really struggling deep down with breaking free from all of this chaos that runs wild within me. I don't know how to do it.
I'm trying to do some of the exercises in Melody Beattie's book - Co-dependant No More but I'm having a difficult time. I honestly don't know what it is I want or need and how to idenify my feelings. Damn....this is so hard.
Dealing with my husband and how he ignores our children and acts like that don't matter has brought alot of buried feelings that I've had about my own childhood and father.
Thanks for listening!! Hugs to all
Love,
Galnva
Paused
Join Date: May 2002
Location: United States
Posts: 39
Wow, what a great question!! I have so many but I think my biggest "cookie" would be knowing if I let go of all my cookies and the jar falls away I would no longer be able to spend all my time looking at his faults. I would have to be faced to look at myself (I'm very new...just started my step one)! This is something I fear so much!!
Grace Under Fire
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Another world
Posts: 536
Hmmmm,
Fear-they or someone is going to get
hurt.
Worry-they or someone is going to get
hurt.
Guilt-this is all my fault, I was a
terrible mother-(getting past that one).
M.G., I was thinking we could flip a
coin for one of Den's Friday Night
Boys.
Fear-they or someone is going to get
hurt.
Worry-they or someone is going to get
hurt.
Guilt-this is all my fault, I was a
terrible mother-(getting past that one).
M.G., I was thinking we could flip a
coin for one of Den's Friday Night
Boys.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Butler Pa
Posts: 77
Hi All
My greatest fear is that my daughter will die in her addiction and I will be left with the thoughts/feelings that I did not do everything I could to stop it. Crazy. .but honest. This disease of addiction is treatable. .and that is what really hurts. I lost a sister last October to addiction. .and my husband's two brothers have also died from addiction.
Here in western Pennsylvania we have a terrible heroin epidemic. .and oxycontin problem. In our small community there have been 7 deaths this year from heroin overdose. .very scarey. .and that fear sends me right back into that cookie jar at intervals. .thank God and (Soberrecovery) each time is getting further and further apart.
Take care friends. . Love Maureen <img border="0" alt="[Mad!]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/mad3.gif" />
My greatest fear is that my daughter will die in her addiction and I will be left with the thoughts/feelings that I did not do everything I could to stop it. Crazy. .but honest. This disease of addiction is treatable. .and that is what really hurts. I lost a sister last October to addiction. .and my husband's two brothers have also died from addiction.
Here in western Pennsylvania we have a terrible heroin epidemic. .and oxycontin problem. In our small community there have been 7 deaths this year from heroin overdose. .very scarey. .and that fear sends me right back into that cookie jar at intervals. .thank God and (Soberrecovery) each time is getting further and further apart.
Take care friends. . Love Maureen <img border="0" alt="[Mad!]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/mad3.gif" />
Guest
Posts: n/a
Maureen,
I know just what you mean about fear sending you back in the cookie jar. I am learning to appreciate the time when I'm out. I try not to look ahead and just deal with today.
I've learned that looking into the future is a cookie for me too.
Hugs,
MG
Josie, I want the one on the right
I know just what you mean about fear sending you back in the cookie jar. I am learning to appreciate the time when I'm out. I try not to look ahead and just deal with today.
I've learned that looking into the future is a cookie for me too.
Hugs,
MG
Josie, I want the one on the right
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
MG and Josie
Never date a man named "Mad Dog"...Never date a man who can wiggle his ears...And never date a man who wasn't good enough for Smoke...she's a pro at spotting losers
<img border="0" alt="[Moon]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/moon.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> Where did Bob find this one?
Never date a man named "Mad Dog"...Never date a man who can wiggle his ears...And never date a man who wasn't good enough for Smoke...she's a pro at spotting losers
<img border="0" alt="[Moon]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/moon.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> Where did Bob find this one?
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