Upsetnneedhelp

Although she may be smaller and not able to cause real damage the law would say otherwise. I find it ironic that many here respect the law when it suits them, however, when it doesn't the law gets overlooked.

dandylion

Upsetneedhelp-----I thought it, but didn't say it. That was kind of chicken of me....I think I dreaded the backlash. My bad.

I thank you for addressing the issue. I understand the DESIRE to do it---but, it is wrong to carry out. Outside of self defense, or to save a life---it is abusive and wrong to inflict physical injury on someone else.

dandylion

hopeful4

My sister is highway partol in this state. We just talked about this the other day. She told me the trend in domestic abuse right now she is seeing just as many women arrested as men. Domestic Abuse is illegal, no matter how much the other person deserves it. Just the facts here.

One of our partners in our "prestegious" firms that I work for has a wife that hit him with a beer bottle and gave him stitches. I have no doubt he deserved it at that moment. However, she did go to jail. She is a nurse practitioner. It does not matter your sex or your education, it is illegal.

OnawaMiniya

I understand your point.

I've been on the other end of a punch from a man, however.

Definitely not equally matched, in most cases.

However, my main point is that I just don't think judging her is an appropriate thing to do at this moment, particularly when she herself had said things like oh my God who am I? If I'm recalling the quote correctly.

Peace.

hopeful4

I agree, just stating how the law sees it. I would never ever judge her. There has been many times I have wanted to kick the crap out of my AH, just never done so. I see both sides of this fence, believe me!

suki44883

I don't think it's judging to point out that physical abuse is wrong, regardless of who is doing it. I have all kinds of sympathy for the OP's feelings since I've been there, but physical violence is never appropriate in a case like this.

OnawaMiniya

Sorry, should have clarified, my post wasn't directed at you.

Peace.

OnawaMiniya

Maybe I should say then that I just don't think it's appropriate under the circumstances, given what she has been put through (and not just this incident), and I don't see the point since she herself had expressed disbelief over her actions.

And I know many won't care about the difference in strength and just see black and white. He isn't going to have any real injuries.

As I stated before, not the best reaction, but certainly understandable in my opinion.

Peace.

OnawaMiniya

Hmmm. Not sure if I should leave this alone. Maybe I should shut up now lol. But I had a thought:

Not one of us in here hasn't at least WANTED to hit or punch someone before. And I'd bet money that almost every time someone decided not to, it was out of fear of consequences, and not because of a tiny saint living inside of them.

Peace.

suki44883

Yeah, I think enough has been said about this. My opinion hasn't changed, but our responses should be to the OP, not each other anyway.

dandylion

Onawa----having worked several years in an emergency room--I can tell you that a smaller (and, physically weaker) person can be very capable of inflicting serious, and, even fatal injuries on a larger person.

In this case, she kicked him in the groin---very serious injury and long term disability can come from groin injuries.

dandylion

jessicajoe

Wondering, respectfully, if maybe we should take that stuff to a new thread and keep this one to supporting Booo *shrugs*

dandylion

Agreed.

dandylion

Booo

4th time I have tried to post so will do more later.
I know my serious issue with the punches, although they landed on his shoulders, and my foot landed on his thigh. I wanted to hurt him but not "hurt" him, if that makes sense and made a conscience decision, I dont know how, to not use the glass jars or a multitude of other items i could have grabbed. I dont have an excuse, I am bruised from I think him trying to hug me and calm me down. a hug. HA. he's extremly remoseful and with a plan when we get home. He knows, he finally knows how he has EFFED This whole thing up. I told him to stay with me, is a life of torture, that I do not know how to let this go. I am posting this now and will continue before I delete this one too

Booo

Broom and Healing Will Come. When he came home, I read your posts outloud. he does not known the site nor where they came from. he was weeping broom, at your post. weeping. I was weeping at Healing's the "YOU did not..." was like a knife to him but a soft spot to land for me. I didnt do those things, and he did them. After the STD test when we get home, the p lan is that he goes to his aunts, where he says he will do anything it takes to win my trust again, anything. that he can't stand himself for doing this, hurting me, ignoring my pleas and offers of help, when he asked. this is, he says, his hitting bottom. was it because I found out? maybe. But he's been different this trip, distant, and not our usual give each other space deal. I think this was going to come out one way or another. I told him I have had an odd feeling about this trip, and he said he has felt it was going to be a trial by fire, this trip. Something has changed. Do i trust it? no. Do i wish with all my heart I could? of course. From all your posts i see others have made it through, together or separately and I can do either. I know I can. I learn from your strength. i dont know where I would have ended up without your help over the last 24 hours. Healing Will Come, please know I heard you loud and clear. thee exact advice I give others. Snooping makes you 'right', "right' does not make you happy. I know enough to know that I dont need any more details, non at all. I dont need this burden anymore on my heart.

hopeful4

Sending you huge hugs.

HealingWillCome

Thanks for checking in with us, Booo. It was just good to hear where you're at. You have a long road ahead, and I'm glad you can come here when you need to. Be good to yourself, let yourself start healing. Little by little, piece by piece. You will get there. You are still in my prayers. And so is your husband. When I went through my hell, I still prayed for my xah every day. Still do. Take care of yourself.

Hawkeye13

Dear Booo;
I've been thinking of you all day.

I'm glad you posted and that he is staying elsewhere for awhile when you go home because I know
everything just feels like a knife in your gut right now.

Next for me was numbness.
Like they say happens when a shark attacks you
and bites off a limb. You just don't feel anything at that moment;
I suppose it's a survival thing.
Expressing the pain through that part is important but be gentle with yourself.

It is tempting to shut down after the first few days
but you will get through this and be stronger and healthier at the end.
I know it doesn't feel that way but it will be true.

Booo

I am ok when I am alone. seeing him is still VERY difficult. but I have stopped throwing things or even thinking of throwing things, so theres so progress. i can see it in his eyes. He knows I am dead serious. I am heartbroken, but I will never beg him to stay. I am even sorry that i made him delete the e-mail account now. I was out of my MIND. but he was so willing to do ANYTHING at that moment. handed me the phone, sent me all his passwords, anything, anything anything. I have my suitcase half packed and he knows when he gets home that i will take the car and drive to the airport with one of the dogs or a few hours to stay with a good friend. My boundry has been crossed. Obviously? Not the one that I thought that I would STAY through. If you would have told me this three days ago i would have told you I would be gone. without a shadow of a doubt. But the difference here? This is a boundry i N E V E R thought would be crossed, not once. i never thought this was an issue. thank you for your prayers and love and light. It's a beautiful day here and between the sun and the rays of light you show me, I am making it through. Something you could not have told me last night.

OnawaMiniya

I'm glad you are gaining strength.

And clarity.

You are in New territory.

Be easy on yourself.

Peace.