Lulu39

"In March of 1886, at the age of 26, acclaimed Russian author and physician Anton Chekhov wrote this fascinating and honest letter of advice to his troubled older brother, Nikolai, a talented painter and writer who, despite being just 28 himself, had for many years been plagued by alcoholism to the point where he often slept on the streets, his days a blur; his notable skills as an artist largely untapped. This letter and the list it contained—eight qualities exhibited by "civilized" people—were essentially Anton's attempt at knocking some sense into the brother he was slowly losing.

Sadly, his efforts were ultimately futile. Nikolai passed away three years later."

You can read the letter here:

Letters of Note: Every hour is precious

Johnston

This hit home:

"The fact of the matter is that you're a decent person and you realize that you're living a lie. And, whenever a person feels guilty, he always looks outside himself for vindication: the drunk blames his troubles, Putyata blames the censors, the man who bolts from Yakimanka Street with lecherous intent blames the cold in the living room or gibes, and so on. "

I believe the author is speaking to shame here, a very powerful emotion with addicted people. Accepting (and laughing in a good natured way) at myself has been a powerful antidote to such feelings.

iSPAZ

Thanks for posting. That was a good read. I had to look up a few words for meaning. Sounds like the brother was constitutionally incapable of being honest with himself.

HealingWillCome

Great point about shame, Johnston. And here's what hit me:

The author speaks to shame and then follows with a litany of advice, pointing out how "civilized" people live their lives. It's clear he does this as a means of trying to help his brother whom he loves so much. But...ouch...this litany must have been a sad emphasis to the shame the alcoholic brother was already carrying, as the concerned brother is really just pointing out fault within the alcoholic brother, taking inventory for him. This is the way it struck me anyway.

Even 130 years later, this is what we do, isn't it? We love our alcoholics so much that if we can just convince them to listen to us and take our advice, then everything will be okay. And likely, we add to their shame. The author ends with "You've got to drop your old way of life and make a clean break. Come home. Smash your vodka bottle, lie down on the couch and pick up a book." If only it were that simple.

Thanks, Lulu for sharing. Pretty fascinating read.

SoaringSpirits

Thank you for posting this.

FireSprite

What an amazing read, thanks for posting!