krhea75

So I have been coming to this forum on and off for years. But it took my son's arrest on March 11th of this last year to get me to an actual Al-anon meeting. I walked in, shattered and so afraid. After trying everything for 10 years, my attempts to help my son were no good. I started attending Al-anon twice a week and what a difference it has made for me in my recovery. His recovery is up and down still. He actually remained sober for 6 months after he got out of jail, but he is currently sitting in jail for not paying his court fines. But the important thing is my recovery. I have discovered that his recovery is his business and I must take care of myself.

What I love about Al-anon:
1 The people who have been through some of the things I have and still smile and laugh.
2 The friends I have made.
3. The hugs
4. The readings that bring light to my life.
5. The way the tools have helped me cope with the mess my son constantly creates.
6. The love I feel when I see the faces week after week.
7. The peace I feel after a meeting.
8. The serenity prayer
9. The hugs
10. The hugs

Seriously people, just go to a meeting. I remember when I first went, they kept telling me, keep coming back. I thought it was a stupid answer. I wanted a real answer. But it turns out, it was a real answer. Only through time and reading and depending on my higher power that I began to heal from the wounds I had felt and inflicted on my alcoholic son.

So as much as I needed this sight and it worked for me in my early stages of recovery, I know that my recovery was ramped up when I went to my meetings.

Thank you to all who responded to my posts so patiently when I first came here. It was what I needed at the time.

Don't be afraid to go to a meeting. Anonymity is crucial to the program. Don't be afraid.
Don't be afraid.

Recovering2

Great post! I agree about "stupid answers". When I first attended AlAnon, I was angry and hurt. Total despair. I would share, and ask questions. When I would finish, others would say "thank you" and move on to the next share. What?? Thank you??? No one answered my question!!! I too heard "keep coming back", people would come up after a meeting and chat with me. Hug me and tell me to come back.

A year later, the questions got answered. The beauty of it is, the more I went to meetings, the more the answers came to me. As I experienced my own recovery, I found my own way. Now when I see a new person, I offer a hug and tell them to keep coming back. It works if you work it....and you're worth it.

honeypig

I so agree with you! At first, it seems like nothing useful is being discussed in meetings. What?! No one is telling me how to stop my A from drinking? Well, then, what good is this?

As time goes on, you start to see just exactly how useful every single thing said turns out to be. An amazing, astounding, life-saving gift, for which I am ever so grateful.

Take what you like and leave the rest...

getthere

I went to five meetings,havent been in three weeks,i know they say go to at least six but I am finding it hard to go to the SIXTH,i was in city at the time of the meeting but didn't go in,feel my head is all over the place atm,i went to the Family meeting at the rehab center 3 weeks ago,approx 5 hour round trip,they have weekly meetings approx. an hour from where I live in dodgy part of town at night.i feel so conflicted about meetings right now,am thinking ,do I go,do I want to be going in twenty years or do I decide now that I am not going and just get on with life

krhea75

getthere,
I can relate with your feelings, but I have found that the alanon way of life is how I get on with my life. I have learned how to cope with so much more than my AS. I have learned how to function in serenity instead of chaos. That being said, maybe it's not for you right now. Give it some time.