been a bit. frustration
 

I cannot even have a conversation with ah anymore because either I get annoyed or he does. Why? Usually he gets annoyed because I dont just agree with what hes saying or I get annoyed because if we talk about addiction or if he talks about someone else it hypocritical hateful or he downplays his problem or blames someone else
I never thought I would be that person ....the one whos in a relationship where two people are going two separate ways and just tolerate eachother. Just dont get along. Love and resoect is gone yet they hang on.
Ok so no im not a saint but the reason our relationship is in such a rut IS because of his drinking. Because of his thinking . Yes hes told everyone under the sun including himself. Heck even in his outpatient program he downplays his part in our "fights" by saying its me and him when really....its just him. Drunk addicted him.


My day. Kids clean cook
His day. Drink belittle sleep.
Its kind of a no brainer why this "thing" we have isnt working.
Just tonight I was called a reta** .
Amazing!

Christmas cant come soon enough. Leaving after . Wish it were sooner!!

Sending you strength to remain detached until the time (apparently very soon?) when you can leave your situation behind and start over for you and your kids.

:acci::abcw::abcw::abcv::winter3I'm pullin' for you, thislonely girl!!!!!!!!!!!!! We can stand some things for a short time that would be unthinkable in the longer term.

You have come such a long way.....hang on just a little longer.!!!

dandylion

Try to focus on the kids and make their holiday as memorable as possible.....the kids can get you through, a lot of times!!!

Hi Lonely Girl- I am in the same situation. AH is actually home we had a argument this morning cried most of the time no affection nothing. he actually been home most of the day and we have nothing to say It is more exhausting to say are you hungry do you want something to eat than anything else.
He tells me everything is my fault we haven't really spoken in 3 weeks . HIs daily routine is wake up 630am go to his brothers do drugs and drink go to work get off 4pm do more drugs and alcohol call me at 5:30pm tell me he is still working when I know he is off and then get home btw 730-10pm spend 30-45 minutes in quiet to pass out on the recliner. Hang in there it soon will pass or that is how I am looking at it.

I feel the same way cant believe it has come to this. No more best friend thats for sure��

Sending you prayers for peace and strength!

Lonely Girl - I have felt the same and can relate. Last Xmas day and NYE I went to bed at 6.30pm with cats and book - AH passed out asleep. Wishing you strength to get through Xmas - it isn't easy I know.
Take care

Thanks all!
Yesterday after ah's tantrum (in which he couldn't make a grilled cheese and broke my spatula. He couldn't drink either so it was a tantrum from being sober) he eventually calmed down and we had a somewhat nice night. (Even though yea...he called me stupid AGAIN!)
well tonight he came in flaunting infront of my face a bottle hes drinking. It was very apparent that he was trying to get a rise from me. I ignored it. Didnt play into it. He tried and tried to start a fight. Eventually having an imaginary fight in which he called me a f*n b and stupid and took off.
Imaginary because I was being nice and not saying anything. He just picks fights over nothing.
I am so miserable!! Counting the days down where I can be in a sain environment with some well deserved respect and peace!

Honeypig. As soon as Christmas is over. I have a temporary place to stay but right now theres no room for me plus 3.