12 Days of Christmas
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
12 Days of Christmas
So I heard or saw that dandylion wanted the spoof to the 12 days of Christmas. I wrote these up the other night while killing a 16 hr shift. Heard the song on the radio and I just had too. Enjoy...
On the 1st day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
A big fat lie of many.
On the 2nd day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 3rd day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 4th day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 5th day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 6th day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
6 wet bed sets
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 7th day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
7 shakes and sweats
6 wet bed sets
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 8th day of Christmas the Alcoholic sent to me
8 fender benders
7 shakes and sweats
6 wet bed sets
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 9th day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
9 unsuccessful trips to rehab
8 fender benders
7 shakes and sweats
6 wet bed sets
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 10th day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
10 court dates
9 unsuccessful trips to rehab
8 fender benders
7 shakes and sweats
6 wet bed sets
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 11th day of Christmas my Alcoholic gave to me
11 promises broken
10 court dates
9 unsuccessful trips to rehab
8 fender benders
7 shakes and sweats
6 wet bed sets
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 12th day of Christmas my Alcoholic gave to me
12 step program
11 promises broken
10 court dates
9 unsuccessful trips to rehab
8 fender benders
7 shakes and sweats
6 wet bed sets
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 1st day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
A big fat lie of many.
On the 2nd day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 3rd day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 4th day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 5th day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 6th day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
6 wet bed sets
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 7th day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
7 shakes and sweats
6 wet bed sets
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 8th day of Christmas the Alcoholic sent to me
8 fender benders
7 shakes and sweats
6 wet bed sets
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 9th day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
9 unsuccessful trips to rehab
8 fender benders
7 shakes and sweats
6 wet bed sets
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 10th day of Christmas my Alcoholic sent to me
10 court dates
9 unsuccessful trips to rehab
8 fender benders
7 shakes and sweats
6 wet bed sets
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 11th day of Christmas my Alcoholic gave to me
11 promises broken
10 court dates
9 unsuccessful trips to rehab
8 fender benders
7 shakes and sweats
6 wet bed sets
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
On the 12th day of Christmas my Alcoholic gave to me
12 step program
11 promises broken
10 court dates
9 unsuccessful trips to rehab
8 fender benders
7 shakes and sweats
6 wet bed sets
5 bottles of vodkaaaaaaaaaa
4 slamming doors
3 choice words
2 fist a pounding
and a big fat lie of many.
BoxinRotz-----LOVE It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We gotta be able to laugh!!!
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Indiana, IL
Posts: 424
I wonder if they could ever make a song like this regarding someone suffering from cancer? If a addiction was truely treated as a disease this kind of song would be considered politically incorrect.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 182
I wonder if they could ever make a song like this regarding someone suffering from cancer?
The Cancer Song (Cancer Sucks) by Larry Brewer (humor) - YouTube
But just like the rhyme above it focuses on the horrors of the disease rather than an individual person.
My late Uncle lost both his legs and then his life to cancer.
He was always "putting his best foot forward" or "stumping up" for something. He used to horrify nurses by asking them to come rub cream into his ankles. They would often have the sheets turned down before they realized.
Before he died he spent many days in the amputee ward, by invitation, doing what he did best and making people laugh.
One boy in his twenties who had lost his leg in a skiing accident wrote to tell us my Uncle saved his life.
Some people find humor in dire situations healing.
Like everything else in SR I say "take what you like and leave the rest"
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
upsetneedhelp---notice....what BoxinRotz, is making humor about is what SHE has had to suffer. Humor is a way that we humans have of dealing with the ironies and pain of reality. It is (when used appropriately) an emotional defense system. If we didn't have emotional defenses---all of us would shrivel and die, fairly early on, in the game of life.
Like everything else, humor can be used constructively or destructively.
Have you read the thread called "quackers"?? (If you haven't you are missing out).
Now, I know--that when we are going through a very dark place--and we are hurting so much--that we feel like we probably won't ever laugh again....but, when healing comes....we do laugh, again....even if for just a short while......
dandylion
Like everything else, humor can be used constructively or destructively.
Have you read the thread called "quackers"?? (If you haven't you are missing out).
Now, I know--that when we are going through a very dark place--and we are hurting so much--that we feel like we probably won't ever laugh again....but, when healing comes....we do laugh, again....even if for just a short while......
dandylion
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
Then we have to be fair.
Written for the alcoholic:
On the first day of the holidays my HP brought to me...a controlling codie...
2nd-- 2 sniffs of my breath to test
3rd--3 righteous indignation statements
4th--4 holier than thou lectures
5th--5 bottles poured down the sink I paid good money for
6th--6 searches for my secret stash
7th--7 brooms to sweep my side of the street
8th--8 lazy reasons not to clean the house
9th--9 reasons not to get a job
10th--10 excuses not to have sex
11th--11 letters from their lawyer
12--12 years of alimony payments
Can we laugh at what we see on this side of the fence too? We had better....
Written for the alcoholic:
On the first day of the holidays my HP brought to me...a controlling codie...
2nd-- 2 sniffs of my breath to test
3rd--3 righteous indignation statements
4th--4 holier than thou lectures
5th--5 bottles poured down the sink I paid good money for
6th--6 searches for my secret stash
7th--7 brooms to sweep my side of the street
8th--8 lazy reasons not to clean the house
9th--9 reasons not to get a job
10th--10 excuses not to have sex
11th--11 letters from their lawyer
12--12 years of alimony payments
Can we laugh at what we see on this side of the fence too? We had better....
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