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Old 12-20-2013, 01:20 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I know that the whole story is impractical to post, but I am wondering why you keep saying he is being so nice and changed.

He now isn't planning to move out, like originally planned.

He never provided you with asked for financials and had put an offer on a property without telling you!? And after you expressed it wasn't a good idea.

Those are two biggies, in my mind. Not being respectful of you, still.

It reminds me of those people who dis you while smiling. You know the language on the surface was polite, but you still feel angry (and confused).

Wishing you well.
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Old 12-20-2013, 01:38 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Just to let you know when I first moved out I was cheap! You know those plastic shelf sets you can get for the garage, well they where my bedroom dresser and TV stand.

Some nice wicker lawn furniture looks good in the living room as well, is durable, comfortable and cheap. Gives the place a vacation cottage feel.

Take the mattress and boxsprings and you don't even need a bedframe.

Once you see what the future brings then you can upgrade.

Your Friend,

Mike
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Old 12-20-2013, 02:39 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by m1k3 View Post
Just to let you know when I first moved out I was cheap! You know those plastic shelf sets you can get for the garage, well they where my bedroom dresser and TV stand.

Some nice wicker lawn furniture looks good in the living room as well, is durable, comfortable and cheap. Gives the place a vacation cottage feel.

Take the mattress and boxsprings and you don't even need a bedframe.

Once you see what the future brings then you can upgrade.

Your Friend,

Mike
That's funny you said this: I will be bringing the futon bed, it's where I sleep now anyway since I gave up the master bedroom to AH last year when he was whining about how uncomfortable the futon was. I put a foam pad on it and I love sleeping on it now, LOL!

I will not be bringing my dresser and will be living like you did: under bed storage boxes, hanging storage cubbies, etc. I will not have a coffee table and a few other things unless I find them super cheap. I feel like I'm preparing to be a broke college student again!

I will be buying my son a new mattress or mattress set for the floor first, until I find something like a platform frame for him. I want him to have a dresser so Ikea is always good for cheap stuff, LOL. I put his last dresser together from Ikea a few years ago so I'm sure I can make it work.
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Old 12-20-2013, 10:27 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Something I was thinking about tonight as I cooked dinner. There are many things in my life that go right, and some that go wrong. But one thing I've noticed in the past few years is that when I stop worrying, stop trying to control, it doesn't really change the amount of things that go right or wrong. The percentage remains just about the same, whether I worry and control, or not. In fact, it seems to me that I am blessed with more unexpected good when I let go of the worry and control, but then again, that could just be me appreciating it more because it happens without my intervention.

L
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Old 12-20-2013, 10:49 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Worry is wasted emotion. Don't worry...prepare.
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Old 12-20-2013, 11:09 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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I have a lot of nice stuff in my house thanks to craigslist, auctions, and thrift stores. When I go, I never find what I'm looking for, but I always find something cool or something that can be fixed up that fits my budget. It's not glamorous, but it's ME and mine.

I used to feel a lot of resentment with my financial struggles because the rest of my family does not struggle and my parents made some shady financial choices around my life that my sisters didn't have to deal with. But I'm learning to accept and enjoy these challenges because they create character in me and in my home.

Sometimes the struggle is also rewarding. You sound like things have been pretty cushy financially for a long while and choosing a new life means accepting some struggle. I hope you find some joy in the hustle.
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Old 12-20-2013, 11:15 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Thrift store furniture is gold. Add a little paint, and you've got a one-of-a-kind piece that has your stamp all over it. Way cheaper than buying new, too. We got a Queen Anne desk for me at the local thrift store for $23. Sanded and refinished it, and it's now my sewing center. I love it!
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Old 12-21-2013, 08:46 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Florence View Post
I have a lot of nice stuff in my house thanks to craigslist, auctions, and thrift stores. When I go, I never find what I'm looking for, but I always find something cool or something that can be fixed up that fits my budget. It's not glamorous, but it's ME and mine.

I used to feel a lot of resentment with my financial struggles because the rest of my family does not struggle and my parents made some shady financial choices around my life that my sisters didn't have to deal with. But I'm learning to accept and enjoy these challenges because they create character in me and in my home.

Sometimes the struggle is also rewarding. You sound like things have been pretty cushy financially for a long while and choosing a new life means accepting some struggle. I hope you find some joy in the hustle.
Yes, things have been cushy for a few years but that doesn't mean I'm not frugal. I am sleeping on a futon when I could easily afford a bed and bed frame for myself. I'm just too cheap to afford it. I don't have nice dish ware, I use plastic plates(melamine stuff) from Target, etc.

When shopping for my son's desk, I went to Staples and they just happened to be selling the floor model of a small cherry desk. I paid $50 for a full desk and short hutch with 2 drawers!

One thing my AH always thanked me for was my ability to tighten my budget belt when necessary. I can now afford to shop at nice places but I still have a policy with myself that I won't spend more than $25 on a pair of jeans(I am shocked when I see $100 or $200 for a pair of JEANS, seriously??!!), I won't spend more than $15 for a top or sweater, and I won't spend more than $50 for a pair of shoes unless they have a specific purpose and that happens to be a good price (i.e. high quality hiking shoes with Vibram soles. I spent $100 on a pair, but that was 10 years ago and I still wear them all the time when I hike so the investment was worth it).

As for AH and I. I talked to my sponsor yesterday and one thing she reminded me was to keep praying about staying in my HP's will. She said if you are running into roadblocks about renting, then maybe your HP is telling you it's not time. If doors start opening up and things start falling into place, then maybe the time is right because HP has allowed things to fall into place at those times? I truly wasn't praying, I was in prepare mode and 'just get out while you've committed to it mode'.

So, I am looking at 2 rentals this weekend. I have packed up my dresser and cleaned out the medicine cabinets and organized them. I have sorted out some clothing and taken donations to Goodwill. I am collecting boxes, organized my son's desk to make it easier to move later, etc. Little steps every day is how I see it.
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Old 12-21-2013, 09:19 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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gotta say liz, i'm impressed with the steps you are taking. the decisions you are making. that you are sticking to your plan, even IF you have some doubts or are questioning what's going on with HIM. keep it up, keep trudging along.

when I left my last husband, I took the bare minimum. and went to the dollar store to buy kitchen stuff and other whatnots. 11 years later and I still have some of those items - one last coffee cup, couple plates, the whisk broom. iwent to goodwill for a lovely set of mismatched silverware. LOL our furniture today is a hodge podge mix of old, new and hand me down. the speakers for the stereo are my dead ex's (with permission from my daughter).

its really fun to start anew. find the fun.
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Old 12-21-2013, 09:20 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Liz--the ability to live frugally will serve you well. AAAh!.....nothing is m ore satisfying to me than a successful day of dumpster-diving......

dandylion
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Old 12-21-2013, 09:31 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by dandylion View Post
Liz--the ability to live frugally will serve you well. AAAh!.....nothing is m ore satisfying to me than a successful day of dumpster-diving......

dandylion
Me too. I'm a major garbage-picker for big items.
Love my little truck!

Doing great Lizatola. Keep a goin'
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Old 12-21-2013, 11:04 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by dandylion View Post
Liz--the ability to live frugally will serve you well. AAAh!.....nothing is m ore satisfying to me than a successful day of dumpster-diving......

dandylion
I know, it always has. Hey, we went 13 years without cable TV because I was so adverse to paying for it and I'd go back to that in a heartbeat. Most likely I'll just have internet set up and use Apple TV or something.

Today, I am working on pushing through the fear, and there's a LOT of it. I am heading out to help a program friend move today and then I am looking at a rental. One step at a time, one day at a time. Praying that God gives me the strength to follow through.
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