HOW TO HAVE FUN ...WHEN YOU REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE IT
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
HOW TO HAVE FUN ...WHEN YOU REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE IT
My son, who is recovery for crack addiction, hasn't called or spoken to me since last Monday.
He was dishonest with me about something and the truth fell in my lap, so to speak, and when I asked him about it he said he would call me back and hasn't. It wasn't a BIG deal issue, but it wasn't a small one either and I am prepared to "discuss' it calmly and responsibly. I called once, yesterday and left a message, and he is still living at his "clean house" so I presume is still clean. I am leaving it at that.
In my pre-recovery days I would have stewed, worried, felt guilty for even mentioning it, cried, and hung by my phone as if it wre my lifeline. Today, i feel fine, a little concerned but really fine. And I feel fine because I have learned to do healthy things for ME when this type of situation happens. I have had a busy productive week, had dinner with a friend and shopped for strange shower curtains, read a good book, and enjoyed my garden.
So....after that short introduction...I decided to make a list for those of you who are too overwhelmed to think of things to do. And the secret is, do them even when you really don't feel like it. That's when you NEED to do them most.
READ - anything, a recovery book, or to escape all thought processes for a while, read a good novel, a biography, a funny book, a "style" magazine, a travel book....but read. Take you mind on a vacation.
MUSIC - sing out loud, even if you don't have a voice like an angel (I don't), sing with your kids, dance around, excercise to music (just make it up as you go), listen to some great "oldies", go to a concert, many are cheap or free, but let the music happen.
GARDEN/WALK/RUN/BIKE - do lots of outdoor exercise and enjoy the beauty of nature while you are there. Take the kids on a "nature" hunt, finding wild flowers, or looking at difference birds. This can be done right in the city (I live in Toronto and there is lots of nature here).
BE WITH PEOPLE - call a friend to visit, go to church and join in one of their activites, ask someone from your meeting to go to a movie with you, ask a neighbour to "walk" with you. Take a senior to lunch or out somewhere that would be a treat for them, for a drive through the country or a walk through a garden..seniors just love this and are often lonely too.
DREAM - not of what might have been, but of what you might like to do someday. It is a dream so it can be anything. Pick up some travel folders and find a place you would like to go. Look at cheap trips, or camping sites and plan a camping trip with the kids or with a friend.
DO FUN THINGS WITH YOUR CHILDREN - they are probably having a bad time now too. Plan a campout in the backyard, campsongs, weenies, and all. Go on a picnic, you don't have to go far, go to a river, a lake, a park, but go.
TREAT YOURSELF - Light candles, soak in a big bubble bath, paint your nails (fingers and toes)
and do something different with your hair.
DAY TRIPS - go out for the day to flea markets, garage sales, country stores, historical sites, old cemetaries (some great stories on those tombstones), it doesn't have to cost anything.
I hope you get the idea and that this helps. It is part of our "survival" kit to know how to enjoy the day.
And if you have any suggestions to add to this list, please do, because we sometimes have a lot of time on our hands and doing healthy things is a very healing process.
Hugs
He was dishonest with me about something and the truth fell in my lap, so to speak, and when I asked him about it he said he would call me back and hasn't. It wasn't a BIG deal issue, but it wasn't a small one either and I am prepared to "discuss' it calmly and responsibly. I called once, yesterday and left a message, and he is still living at his "clean house" so I presume is still clean. I am leaving it at that.
In my pre-recovery days I would have stewed, worried, felt guilty for even mentioning it, cried, and hung by my phone as if it wre my lifeline. Today, i feel fine, a little concerned but really fine. And I feel fine because I have learned to do healthy things for ME when this type of situation happens. I have had a busy productive week, had dinner with a friend and shopped for strange shower curtains, read a good book, and enjoyed my garden.
So....after that short introduction...I decided to make a list for those of you who are too overwhelmed to think of things to do. And the secret is, do them even when you really don't feel like it. That's when you NEED to do them most.
READ - anything, a recovery book, or to escape all thought processes for a while, read a good novel, a biography, a funny book, a "style" magazine, a travel book....but read. Take you mind on a vacation.
MUSIC - sing out loud, even if you don't have a voice like an angel (I don't), sing with your kids, dance around, excercise to music (just make it up as you go), listen to some great "oldies", go to a concert, many are cheap or free, but let the music happen.
GARDEN/WALK/RUN/BIKE - do lots of outdoor exercise and enjoy the beauty of nature while you are there. Take the kids on a "nature" hunt, finding wild flowers, or looking at difference birds. This can be done right in the city (I live in Toronto and there is lots of nature here).
BE WITH PEOPLE - call a friend to visit, go to church and join in one of their activites, ask someone from your meeting to go to a movie with you, ask a neighbour to "walk" with you. Take a senior to lunch or out somewhere that would be a treat for them, for a drive through the country or a walk through a garden..seniors just love this and are often lonely too.
DREAM - not of what might have been, but of what you might like to do someday. It is a dream so it can be anything. Pick up some travel folders and find a place you would like to go. Look at cheap trips, or camping sites and plan a camping trip with the kids or with a friend.
DO FUN THINGS WITH YOUR CHILDREN - they are probably having a bad time now too. Plan a campout in the backyard, campsongs, weenies, and all. Go on a picnic, you don't have to go far, go to a river, a lake, a park, but go.
TREAT YOURSELF - Light candles, soak in a big bubble bath, paint your nails (fingers and toes)
and do something different with your hair.
DAY TRIPS - go out for the day to flea markets, garage sales, country stores, historical sites, old cemetaries (some great stories on those tombstones), it doesn't have to cost anything.
I hope you get the idea and that this helps. It is part of our "survival" kit to know how to enjoy the day.
And if you have any suggestions to add to this list, please do, because we sometimes have a lot of time on our hands and doing healthy things is a very healing process.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
This is great Ann! Let's call this list "The Excuse Evaporator List"! We should keep it always at the ready.
I'll add... take lessons. In something. Voice, guitar, painting, karate, quilting, ghost hunting, auto repair, cooking, belly dancing... something! Acquiring even a little skill is a great ego booster and if you go to a class, you'll meet new people and automatically have something to talk to them about.
Yes, I did say ghost hunting. I'm going to join the next available ghost hunting class at the Lex. community college. (They do, TOO!)
Smokie
I'll add... take lessons. In something. Voice, guitar, painting, karate, quilting, ghost hunting, auto repair, cooking, belly dancing... something! Acquiring even a little skill is a great ego booster and if you go to a class, you'll meet new people and automatically have something to talk to them about.
Yes, I did say ghost hunting. I'm going to join the next available ghost hunting class at the Lex. community college. (They do, TOO!)
Smokie
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Smoke - I want to join that class. It sounds like a lot of fun. Classes can definely be FUN.LOL
And many are cheap or free.
I like the "Excuse Evaporator" list. I know that I sometimes have to MAKE myself crawl out from under my blanket of self-pity and "get a life", but I swear that it does wonders. Even the smallest thing can change my whole attitude.
The more I DO recovery, the more I start to finally get it, get what it really means. I need to "let go and get going" more.
Smoke, I wish you were my neighbour...there would be no grass growing under our feet.
Hugs
And many are cheap or free.
I like the "Excuse Evaporator" list. I know that I sometimes have to MAKE myself crawl out from under my blanket of self-pity and "get a life", but I swear that it does wonders. Even the smallest thing can change my whole attitude.
The more I DO recovery, the more I start to finally get it, get what it really means. I need to "let go and get going" more.
Smoke, I wish you were my neighbour...there would be no grass growing under our feet.
Hugs
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
Well, I like all those suggestions.
Here is a cute site. I know its geared towards kids but whats more fun than being a kid??
<a href="http://www.funology.com/index.cfm" target="_blank">http://www.funology.com/index.cfm</a>
Love,
Debbie
Here is a cute site. I know its geared towards kids but whats more fun than being a kid??
<a href="http://www.funology.com/index.cfm" target="_blank">http://www.funology.com/index.cfm</a>
Love,
Debbie
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Hi Barbiedeb
Glad to see you back. Hope you are feeling better.
And thank you so much for putting the bunny slippers on my angel!!! Now she is really relaxed.
I tried that site and it is so cute. Thanks.
Hugs
Glad to see you back. Hope you are feeling better.
And thank you so much for putting the bunny slippers on my angel!!! Now she is really relaxed.
I tried that site and it is so cute. Thanks.
Hugs
Grace Under Fire
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Another world
Posts: 536
Great suggestions, I've been reading
and I'm getting back to my unfinished
projects. My neighbor is going to teach
me how to decorate cakes, she does this
for a living, and something I have always
wanted to learn just for fun. And Deb, loved the kids website, I wrote a few of the experiments down to do with the kids
tomorrow-they'll love it!
Hugs,
and I'm getting back to my unfinished
projects. My neighbor is going to teach
me how to decorate cakes, she does this
for a living, and something I have always
wanted to learn just for fun. And Deb, loved the kids website, I wrote a few of the experiments down to do with the kids
tomorrow-they'll love it!
Hugs,
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
Hello 
Ann, not a problem with the bunny slippers. Tonto make it your avatar
He flipped it too so it's facing inwards.
Josie, I hope you and your kids can do some fun things from that site. I hope to get back into my crafts soon. It takes me forever to do things but once something is made, I really feel like I accomplished something.
You all take care.
Many hugs.
Love,
Debbie
Ann, not a problem with the bunny slippers. Tonto make it your avatar
He flipped it too so it's facing inwards.Josie, I hope you and your kids can do some fun things from that site. I hope to get back into my crafts soon. It takes me forever to do things but once something is made, I really feel like I accomplished something.
You all take care.
Many hugs.
Love,
Debbie
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Josie
You can send me one of those cakes <img border="0" alt="[angel]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/angel2.gif" /> , I can't bake anything. Can cook a nice meal, but baking...Grrr.
When I was in high school we had to take home-economics as a credit and my teacher promised to pass me, if I would promise to ONLY STIR, no mixing, no measuring,no oven setting, just stir. And I also had to promise to switch to music next semester. I did And today I play a rather squeaky clarinet. <img border="0" alt="[Supercool]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/dj.gif" />
And Chandra - Hope you find something you like on the list. You really deserve to have some fun. And you can.
So be grateful for such a talent.
You can send me one of those cakes <img border="0" alt="[angel]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/angel2.gif" /> , I can't bake anything. Can cook a nice meal, but baking...Grrr.
When I was in high school we had to take home-economics as a credit and my teacher promised to pass me, if I would promise to ONLY STIR, no mixing, no measuring,no oven setting, just stir. And I also had to promise to switch to music next semester. I did
And today I play a rather squeaky clarinet. <img border="0" alt="[Supercool]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/dj.gif" /> And Chandra - Hope you find something you like on the list. You really deserve to have some fun. And you can.
So be grateful for such a talent.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Moving back up for Sunshine. Pick one Sunshine, any one, but try it and let us know how it works.
You are worth it!!!!!
That's why I added "when you really don't feel like it"....that's when you need it most.
You are worth it!!!!!
That's why I added "when you really don't feel like it"....that's when you need it most.
Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: San diego, CA, USA
Posts: 86
I'm going to take advantage of the San Diego sunshine.. and I am going to learn how to surf... I will be sure to keep you all updated.. on my wipeouts... I am going to start with a body board then move my way up to the big rippers...lol I am so excited.... <img border="0" alt="[Jump]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/jump.gif" />
Paused
Join Date: May 2002
Location: United States
Posts: 39
Anns, I picked running!! I'm one of those sick people that enjoys running <img border="0" alt="[Smile02]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/smile02.gif" /> And I always feel SO much better after a good hard run!!!
Since I moved back home I can't garden (my mother has all her projects taking up the backyard), but I dream of the day I own my own house and I can spend all day Saturdays in MY backyard (with no stress) and plant or tend to a beautiful recovery garden
Hope everyone is having a good week!!
Since I moved back home I can't garden (my mother has all her projects taking up the backyard), but I dream of the day I own my own house and I can spend all day Saturdays in MY backyard (with no stress) and plant or tend to a beautiful recovery garden
Hope everyone is having a good week!!
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Hey Sunshine
Why don't you plant a "recovery flower pot or planter"? You don't need much space for that. I'd lend you one of my hanging yellow begonias, but SOMEONE STOLE IT!!! <img border="0" alt="[Mad!]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/mad3.gif" /> . I am working on that little resentment
And running is great for relieving the stress.
Why don't you plant a "recovery flower pot or planter"? You don't need much space for that. I'd lend you one of my hanging yellow begonias, but SOMEONE STOLE IT!!! <img border="0" alt="[Mad!]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/mad3.gif" /> . I am working on that little resentment
And running is great for relieving the stress.
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