ShanniMarie

For years now I've been worried about my husband and his drinking. But I'm not sure if I blew it all out of proportion or if I was right. I know what my level of tolerance is for any kind of addiction - I don't understand it. I'm constantly second guessing myself as to whether I labeled him unjustly. My husband didn't have beer every single night.. just most nights and when he did he had more than one or two - more like five or six. He wasn't totally relaxed without drinking a beer or two at least. His physique changed from being a trim man to a pot bellied man and his eyes are now a slight shade of yellow. He's also got some broken blood vessels across the bridge of his nose and spreading to his cheeks. He's also not a fall down drunk - the only time I've ever seen him completely fall down was when he drank alchohol harder than beer and that's not too often. The man puts away his beer pretty quickly and then falls asleep. When he's out doing things he functions pretty well but he talks a lot more. Everyone who knows him likes him a lot.

Writing all this out and re-reading it sorta makes me think I made the right decision but I still need some validation.

Gabe

Here's your validation.
If his drinking is a problem for you, it's a problem.
You haven't blown anything out of proportion.
Coming here, was the first step in getting some help for you.
Keep walking down that road.
We're all here with you.
Gabe

ShanniMarie

Gabe: Thank you for answering so quickly!

There are things in my marriage that I'm not proud of having done. I really didn't understand how my sweet sweet husband could turn into such a werewolf overnight (no, this wasn't a progressive thing - honestly one day he just woke up and started drinking and never stopped) He cheated on me and he lied and he tore my world apart but I took him back. I became withdrawn and depressed - I couldn't believe my best friend cared so little for me and so much for the bottle. I treated him horribly. I feel a huge measure of guilt for it and I'm just worried that I was wrong about what I was unhappy about. Does that even make sense? I gave him the "it's the beer or me" speech many many times during our marriage. He never said he'd try, never even gave it an effort.

For the record.. things are over with he and I. He's cheated on me too many times for me to want him back (and who knows what he's doing now?) with this latest episode and the fact that he will not talk to me at all or help support me in any way (he makes more money and I'm seriously struggling) I am here for me. I need to be able to find my sanity and move on. I need to stop worrying about him and what he's doing. He's made his choice and I really have to move on.

Gabe

Yes you do, and you are on the right path. Keep moving in the better direction.
Hugs,
Gabe