soexhausted49

Been reading here for several months and so glad I found this site. I let boyfriend move in 1 year ago. He was kicked out of uncles house,so I let him come to my home. Found out quickly about his drinking and said no drinking in my home. Well he parks his car a block away and drinks in the car. He has pissed in my bed, new couch,old couch and has pissed his way through the bed in the guest room. So annoyed I cant even speak anymore! He has fallen asleep in the car and pissed in his pants more times than I can count. OH yeah tomorrow is Friday and he will probably call to ask if he can bring his daughter for the weekend. Hell no ! He has managed to destroy every holiday and weekend for me !

suki44883

I know what you mean. I used to have a boyfriend who would pee the bed, the couch, the recliner, even get up and pee in the laundry basket or the trash can in the kitchen. It's disgusting and I just couldn't deal with it anymore. That was many years ago, but I'll never forget it.

Welcome to SR, soexhausted. We understand what you're dealing with and you'll find a lot of support here.

Upsetnneedhelp

He can still get a DUI if he is in his car sucking down liquor even if hes not driving.

Thepatman

I guess I'm happy that during my 20 year career I never pissed myself!!
I tought I done all possible ridiculous things.

I have an idea for a Christmas gift for your boyfriend.... Wait for it... Adult diapers. LOL!! Sorry I needed a laugh ;-)

soexhausted49

I told him this morning to wear depends but he goes to bed fully clothed most of the time and passes out ! I quit doing his smelly laundry a few months ago. Today I pulled the 2 foam toppers off and plastic off the bed (plastic was ripped in a section ) and new mattress stained and wet. Who would believe I have plastic on my beds for a grown man ! Last week he peed on my new sofa and he stayed away for 2 days . If I did this in any bed I would RUN for help ! I cant share this with anyone, I am too embarrassed..

suki44883

So, what are your plans now? Are you going to continue on this way, or are you going to tell him to find another place to empty his bladder? You don't have to live that way, you know.

Leana

I hate to say this but I think it's time for you to change the locks and move on.

Hammer

Wow. The absolute crap (well not crap, I suppose, more like pee) you women will put up is AMAZING.

[hmmm, Hammer holds mirror up to self, and says STFU jackass -- the crap YOU put up with is amazing. Yeah. STFU]

Anyway. I want any or all of you as wives, if you put up with this type of crap. I am trained to pee in the yard. Like a dog.

Thinking about this -- you all should just get dogs. They can be trained to pee outside.

RhodeIsland

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On a less serious note: Someone else said it, but.... "What is with alcoholics peeing the bed!?" and peeing on bookshelves / the wall. I don't understand it.

In reference to adult diapers, make sure the diapers can handle a high volume of urine - 600~800ML at least. the ones I've seen have been designed for geriatrics, who tend to void in smaller volumes than a newer set of kidneys dumping as much water as possible because Anti diuretic hormone is suppressed by alcohol - meaning even if he just drank pure alcohol it's not the water alone in the alcoholic drinks - it's his kidneys are dumping whatever amount of fluid possible from the blood (which leads to pulling fluid out of the cells of the body, into the blood (vascular system) which is then dumped by the kidneys. It's why after a night of "good" drinkin', you feel so dehydrated. Assuming he drinks beer / mixes drinks, that is a lot of fluid which gets dumped PLUS whatever his bod would normally keep within ends up being dumped by the kidneys.

this is in jest, but you could always straight cath him when he falls asleep.
It is in jest. Do not do this. It would be considered battery. though isn't peeing on someone battery as well?

suki44883

Alcoholics don't so much go to sleep as they pass out. It's a deeper type of sleep than a normal person experiences. My ex-boyfriend had the additional problem of being a sleep-walker. He would get up and walk around, maybe even have a conversation, but he was asleep. He told me of times when he was younger that he'd wake up in someone's front yard with his pillow under his head. I find that amazing, but I've read of many instances of that happening.

I saw it in person a couple of times when we were together. It's just the strangest thing I've ever experienced.

marie1960

Have you ever heard the saying:

WHAT YOU PUT UP WITH, IS WHAT YOU END UP WITH.

The XA in my life only pee'd the bed a couple of times, but he had a terrible habit of passing out with a cigarette in hand, or waking up in a black out state and smoking, seems I never got a good night's sleep, I kept waking up to see if he had set the house on fire.

Only you can decide when enough is enough!

spiderqueen

soexhausted, I'm exhausted (and grossed out) for you!

And yes, I can commiserate. Mine also peed himself after passing out on the couch. Other times, I would drop by and find him asleep naked in bed, having moved there after wetting self on couch. He would shed the wet pants in a heap on the bathroom floor. Once he had to get the foam replaced on the couch cushions, but told me they had mysteriously "worn out". (Couch was only a few months old and well made.)

I always wondered, what on earth would go through his head the next day, when he sobered up and found the wet stuff everywhere. "Darn, wet myself like a helpless, pathetic baby again! Time for AA/therapy/rehab maybe??? Nah, I can obviously handle it!"

HOW do they justify to themselves??

OK, having said that, the real question is obviously, why do we tolerate it. We can't fix their warped justifications for living that way, but we certainly can adjust our own.

Good luck to you - and here's to no more mopping up messes.

Ruby2

This whole thread brought to mind a bunch of posts on things normies wouldn't know and sadly, brought a chuckle. My husband traded a decent five year old car for crack when we were separated and justified it by telling me with a straight face that it wasn't such a bad thing because it smelled like pee and he was going to get a new one anyway. It smelled like urine From the numerous times he passed out in the car in the garage and peed himself.

I would start unraveling myself from this relationship and move in because unless he gets help, it isn't going to get better.

And Marie, fully understand the cigarette thing too. Every table in our house has burn marks along the edge from setting a lit cigarette down. My newly upholstered couch has a burn hole in one of the cushions. Every loose dish, cup, vase has been used as an ash tray.

Ruby2

That is, "move on" and not move in.

worriedmind

My boyfriend has this problem too. I once woke up to him actually peeing ON me in his sleep. That was several years ago, and now here I am with him passed out on the couch with pee in his pants.

"I always wondered, what on earth would go through his head the next day, when he sobered up and found the wet stuff everywhere. "Darn, wet myself like a helpless, pathetic baby again! Time for AA/therapy/rehab maybe??? Nah, I can obviously handle it!""
- I often wonder this too, but agree also that the question is really why on God's green Earth do we put up with this? I wish I knew.

PohsFriend

If you had a puppy pee on the bed you would rub their nose in it, smack their ass and throw them out in the yard and puppies are cute and have puppy breath and are totally devoted to pleasing you.

if you just loved on them and got a new mattress they would pee on it too.

Ya feelin me?

PohsFriend

By the way, I know it sucks and we redefine normal when it's bad, not mocking you dear..l am saddened to see you so defeated but you can get through it. When you are ready you will.

FeelingGreat

Soexhausted, why is he still there? And why are YOU embarrassed? You're over him in every way. Kick him out.

OnawaMiniya

I wouldn't do that to a puppy.

I might do that to an alcoholic that just pissed in my bed, though.

OnawaMiniya

Really, though, until you are ready to kick him to the curb, invest in a good waterproof mattress pad. I had one for my dog who would occasionally send me a message (lol) when I worked too many hours and she was mad at me. Wasn't too expensive and it saved my bed. The one I got, wasn't the kind that made crinkle noises or made the bed uncomfortable. I didn't want to sleep on that. It was layered. Padded, and the bottom layer was water resistant. Wish I could remember the brand. It worked well.