PippiLngstockng

I can't pay her but I don't want xah to know. Then I fear he will do yet more harm to my life.

Plus, how do I get a divorce without legal counsel?

Thanks to anyone who has experience or knowledge to share.

Florence

Has she provided you with any guidance on who to contact next?

PippiLngstockng

No. She wants me to sign a Motion to Withdraw form. No advice, no guidance. Nada.

ladyscribbler

I got divorced just by signing some papers in front of a notary public. My ex and I had a (relatively) amiable split. No big disputes like custody or division of property. So he went to a lawyer who drew up papers with the mutually agreed terms. All I had to do was sign.
I know your situation is different, though, and based on your previous posts your ex sounds kind of scary. Is there something like a legal aid society in the country where you're residing? Or would that only be open to citizens? Could you find a lawyer that would work on spec until your divorce settlement goes through, who would take the money out of whatever alimony or financial compensation you would receive after it's finalized? I know personal injury lawyers will sometimes do that, and the ones who deal with VA/SSI compensation.
Hope you get what you need. Best wishes. Sorry you're going through this.

Tabbj

you can file your own divorce papers for about 145. it is easy I found and ad in a newspaper someone who advertised that they would write up the divorce as long as it was a simple divorce. that cost me 60, then went to my ex had him sign in front of notary for 25 then I filed papers in court that was 60. 30 days later went in front of judge divorce granted. also at one time staples store had papers you could pick up and fill out and file your self. hope this helps

PippiLngstockng

In Europe, my lawyer is committed to helping me and I have applied for financial aid to help cover the costs. I also get some financial help through a domestic violence ahency here.

In the US, this lawyer has gone against my wishes and has made a mess of my life. I was just not wanting to change lawyers as much of the work for the divorce is finished. I have come to dislike her, as she has yelled at me over the phone and hasn't done one truly useful thing for us.

But it is expensive to change lawyers, too. I hired her over the phone and didn't meet her until last month. She has an excellent reputation, but I don't get the idea that she is even on my side, so to speak.

Ixi

Tons of people get divorced without lawyers. A lot of times all the forms you need will be online. You might also be able to find services that will help you for free. I'd call the courthouse and see if they have suggestions for you.

PippiLngstockng

News flash: American lawyer just wrote back to say that she will actually be out of the country for 11 weeks starting just after Christmas.

And she is telling me now?!

Maybe she is checking into rehab.

Or she wants to relocate to Europe because she's learned from me how nice and peaceful things are here.

Or she's been paid off by xah and is going to take a long break in the Dominican Republic.

Florence

Cuh-rist. Just remember to breathe, girl.

Do you have any really creative ideas?

PippiLngstockng

I don't know. I am sort of laughing. Okay, God, what's next?

What if I do nothing. What will happen then? That kind of interests me.

I realized last month that xah likes the lawyers and court. Which means it can't be good for me.

If I stop doing anything in the US, will he continue to destroy me financially? Or will he ease up if I give it less attention?

What a mess.

firebolt

Sometimes colleges will have students give legal help with simple forms and taxes for free. Also many banks and insurance companies will let you use notaries for free if you are their customer. Good luck..nothing like continuing to screw with your life AFTER you are free of them! xoxo

wanttobehealthy

Maybe your lawyer disappearing after xmas is a sign that you're meant to ditch her (even if you could afford her still).

My lawyer (fired first 2 for similar reasons as you describe with yours-- they didn't get it and were hostile at times and caused me far more problems than help) knows I can no longer afford to pay her but she is continuing to represent me and trusts me that I will pay her as a I can. She is a shark and fighting hard for me and my kids and it was amazing to me that when I told her I could no longer afford to pay her, that she said she was going to still fight for me...

So, if you find a lawyer who feels like a good fit, it never hurts to ask if they can be flexible with payment-- I would never have guessed my lawyer would have been agreeable to a flex payment arrangement...

DesertEyes

I used legal aid, and they were great.

Suggestion: What state of the US are you looking to do your divorce in? Call the Salvation Army in that state and ask them to refer you to free legal aid in that state. They will know what are the best resources in that particular state.

If they don't have a referral for legal aid then ask them to refer you to the women's shelter that they work with, call the women's shelter and ask _them_ for a referral to a legal aid group.

If none of those organizations can help you then look up the "Legal Bar" association for the state, they all have websites, and see if they have a listing for free services. But that is the last option, it is much better to get the _experience_ based referral than to just look it up on a list.

Mike

Florence

This is kind of a long shot, but are there any women's political activist groups in your area that you could appeal to? They tend to love a cause, and are always willing to help a victim of abuse. I don't even mean a women's shelter, per se, but a feminist-leaning women's group through a school or uni that could help you pull together some reseources.