Out patient
 

My AH (we're divorcing) told me yesterday that he has an appointment Friday at a local out patient place. He doesn't know many details, but maybe something that he goes to daily for 3 hrs a day.
Any stories or advice on what to expect?
He has stopped drinking (but used other substances) once before for 6 or 8 months, and the no-drinking was good. I'm hoping this time the out patient will look at all his substances, alcohol, prescription drugs and street drugs, and give him ways to cope.
I told him that I would love nothing more to see him sober up, if for nothing else that for our young daughter.
He couldn't help throw in the 'if you were a supportive wife and stood by your vows' crap.
His decision maybe coincided with another vehicle damage incident, some minor damage I noticed Monday morning. After going round and round with me, he says it was from hitting a mailbox while using his phone. Of course he was drunk, although didn't say that.
I am a little concerned that out patient will expect things from me, support, attending meetings (which I would do I guess). Other expectations? Do they involve children attending at any of the process?

:23::23::23:peacesoul--This is my take on this---If he is serious--he will do the program and handle all the responsibilities associated with it---like knowing what is required, etc.

You are under no obligation to do anything (unless you decide that you want to)--you are divorcing, after all.

If he is serious, he will do the program for himself--regardless of what you do or don't do.

Why not use this opportunity to practice your detachment?

dandylion

Friday’s still a long way off, wait and see what really happens after Friday.

No use getting your mind wrapped around the out patient expectations, rather wrap your mind around YOUR own expectations for YOURSELF and a happier –healthier life.

Friday’s still a long way off, wait and see what really happens after Friday.

Mine had an appointment in October. He still hasn't gone.

Peacesoul (love that name, btw), you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If he goes, and if the treatment center offers family support, you can choose to participate or not as you see fit. If you choose to participate, it will be part of YOUR recovery, not his. I've started my own recovery and left axb in the dust (or the booze, or whatever). And yeah, I got the same quacking about "walking out on him" and "breaking promises" and blah blah.
Take care. Hugs to you and your daughter.

Success rates for outpatient is even more dismal than inpatient.
Success rate for your happiness in in your hands.

My daughter went from 31 days in-patient to 40 full day out-patient to 10 half days outpatient. She followed the rehab's plan until she got to half days and then it fell apart. Half day out-patient (at least where she was) requires getting a job, volunteering, or being in school full time. No ifs, ands, or buts. So she got a job. Well, the half day program was M-Th from 9-12 and her work hours were T-S from 8-5. So she only had Monday's available to go, which she did. But after the first missed session our insurance dropped her. They said it's either all or nothing. So she no longer goes. She does however attend AA meetings almost every night.

So my take? Out patient was a waste of money. If she had not had the 70 days already in by doing in-patient and full day out-patient, she would have relapsed the first day. Just my opinion about HER program. I know all programs are different so, I agree to wait until Friday and see how it plays out.

I did attend the family support group while she was in treatment, which was optional for family.

I agree with Leana, I think it depends on the program.

RABF did inpatient and now does outpatient/aftercare 3x a week for 3 hours. It sounds like they do a lot of talking at them instead of with them. RABF still goes but doesn't like it--he's supplementing with AA now. But again, depends on the place.

Thanks all. Interesting. You've helped me re-set my expectations. It did sort of shock me hearing him say it, because that's the first time I've heard him say that he had an issue and wanted help to kick it.
But you're all right, I need to re-focus on me and my self. Bumpity bump bump along this road.
He works for himself so while proving his income is killing me on the court financials, that won't allow him the excuse of him not able to attend for whatever reason.
Thanks again, I think I will read some of those stickies on detachment/my side of street.