Detaching from partner = part time partner?
 

Hi all, hope everyone is well. Just interested to hear other experiences...

Most of my relationship with my RABF is great but every couple of weeks he gets into a mood triggered by something small. Over the course of our relationship, we (him more than me in fact) have learnt to identify them early on, and try to diffuse it, to varying effect.

I know he hates being in these moods even at the time, so I sympathise, it really does feel like part of his mental illness as opposed to him just being difficult.

Anyway, the perfect storm is brewing - I recently lost my dad and feeling fairly fragile, he's not been attentive to his own recovery these last few weeks as he's been sick, and because of my bereavement my friends want to go out with me more, which worries him in case I have enough drink to get tipsy (I don't as a rule). Plus there's christmas parties.

After explaining that I had a few things on this week, we had an argument and he's taken a massive step back. I've been calling/texting but we still haven't spoken properly since Monday.

Ordinarily I should/could detach, but because I'm extra emotional I'm feeling like he's abandoned me and it's not something I can deal with well. I'd say he probably thinks he's being gracious - he intends me do my own thing without worry of his emotional health.

Is moody/withdrawing behaviour part of the A/RA characteristic and if do, how do you deal with it? Because I'm starting to think detaching is a fancy word for not being able to rely on your partner.