PurpleWilder

This as well for me; also married and divorced an ACOA with his own addiction issues.

Booo

Father was an A. Sad to watch that progress. From fights after parties (kids were allowed and invited and welcome to all parties) to seeing my dad take a shot of whiskey at 11 am. I was 12 and blurted out. Oh Daddy! You're an alcoholic". I think after seeing a dick van dyke TV movie? My mother a CLASSIC enabler. He would stop (no aa for him!) and get edgy and my mother would buy him booze because he had been "so good". She would RIDE his butt the second he was sober to pick up all the pieces he had left unfinished when he picked up the bottle. Remodeling our house, painting our fence. I always thought when he was sober she never gave him a moment of peace, and thus CAUSED his drinking. When he drank, she she got to spew out all of her anger.

What is horrible to me is that I find myself, to a much lesser degree doing the EXACT same thing.
My 1st husband was an A, so was his mother. But she was a socialite alcoholic, summer time pitchers of gin and tonic, holidays with bloody Mary's. it took years for me to realize my dad and his mother were both As. Their methods were so different,
Current AH..mother drinks, but savors a cocktail. Sadly when they are together.
My AH drinks his way thru her liquor a cabinet, she is just happy to have his company, so I am to uptight wife. (Although he know he has an issue)
Such a pattern.

Wavy

I'm an ACOA and my A Mother is an ACOA (her father was an A and mother a codependant) and I spent 8 and a half years with XABF who was also an ACOA (his father is an A and mother a codependant - two of his brothers drink to excess). My brother and I are both codependant people, probably well learnt from our codependant Father and Grandmother, neither of us drinks very much, but my brother did have a drug problem for a while. I am now with a man who has never drunk and I am abstaining at the moment due to contraindications with my meds.

Aeryn

I'm an ACON (Adult Child of a Narcissist) and an ACOA. My mother was the narcissist and my father the A. My XAH is also an ACON and an ACOA - his father is both in his case.