Does your RA use SR?

Old 12-03-2013, 12:49 PM
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Does your RA use SR?

(My apologies if this discussion has been had before. I tried to look but didn't see anything.)

I told my RA about soberrecovery yesterday, expressly asking him to stay away from the Family & Friends section so I don't feel restrained by the possibility of him reading my posts (and I, of course, will not go looking for him on the "other side").

Does anyone else's RA use SR? Any boundary issues?
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Old 12-03-2013, 12:54 PM
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No. But I wish he did. If they don't know what our user names are, then I wouldn't even mind him looking here as I think it can help to see the other side of the street as I know it's helped me sometimes to ask advice there.
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Old 12-04-2013, 11:23 AM
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That can get dangerous, or at least that's what I've heard.
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Old 12-04-2013, 11:30 AM
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I think he reads occasionally, but not regularly. I introduced him to the site years ago while he was still drinking because it helped me and I hoped it would help him.
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Old 12-04-2013, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by shil2587 View Post
No. But I wish he did. If they don't know what our user names are, then I wouldn't even mind him looking here as I think it can help to see the other side of the street as I know it's helped me sometimes to ask advice there.
I feel this way too - I appreciate what Choublak is pointing out though. If my A was abusive, I think I would want this to remain my Safe Haven.

In the case of my A, I think it would do him wonders to connect with others who are struggling since SR is available 24/7... and I think he could really benefit from hearing the F&F side of the discussions without it being me talking "at" him.
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Old 12-04-2013, 11:38 AM
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Nope. I told him about it and he has shown 0% interest. That's great for me. Even though I would never tell him my user name I am sure he would figure me out lol. Not that I care...every ounce is truth...but the truth hurts...I am sure he would not like that!
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Old 12-04-2013, 11:56 AM
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I'm the RA ... the person I was in a relationship a few years ago used the site against me. At one point she read through ever post I've ever made here (I've been here since 2004 at least) and created a document highlighting things I had said and lied about and told me that this site just keeps me in the problem. She spent days collecting all the data ....
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Old 12-04-2013, 01:20 PM
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dunno, I suppose dontcare.

She may look in my stuff from time-to-time.

Not too concerned. All Things Work Together For Good . . . (right? If you follow the second half of that.)

I do not think she would take much to heart. Mostly too arrogant and assumes she knows all of this with relatively little formal education nor successful experience.

Oh well. All Things Work Together For Good.
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Old 12-04-2013, 01:40 PM
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I told my best friend who is still active about the site but he refuses to quit drinking (let alone visit the site) even though he admits freely that he is an alcoholic and his drinking brings bad consequences
I also bought him the Rational Revovery book (since he said he did not like AA) and of course the AA big book which I put under my laptop when I visit. Works great, the laptop does not overheat and since he never opened it, the copy still looks brand new.

Ps: best friend is also my XABF (not the abusive one which led me to Al Anon). Yep, I scored relationships with three alcoholics in a row!
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Old 12-04-2013, 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by PaperDolls View Post
I'm the RA ... the person I was in a relationship a few years ago used the site against me. At one point she read through ever post I've ever made here (I've been here since 2004 at least) and created a document highlighting things I had said and lied about and told me that this site just keeps me in the problem. She spent days collecting all the data ....
I'm sorry that happened to you, PaperDolls. That's why I tried to draw boundaries from the beginning. I don't even want to accidentally read his stuff poking around there, his recovery is his. And mine is mine, for that matter. He doesn't know my user name but I'm sure he could put it together.
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Old 12-04-2013, 05:43 PM
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Worth reading...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-member.html
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Old 12-04-2013, 06:45 PM
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Mine doesn't. If he did I wouldn,t be comfortable but that is just me.





Originally Posted by Ixi View Post
(My apologies if this discussion has been had before. I tried to look but didn't see anything.)

I told my RA about soberrecovery yesterday, expressly asking him to stay away from the Family & Friends section so I don't feel restrained by the possibility of him reading my posts (and I, of course, will not go looking for him on the "other side").

Does anyone else's RA use SR? Any boundary issues?
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Old 12-04-2013, 06:52 PM
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Question what is an ar?

Hi,I just joined and want to know what an AR is and RA?I see alot of wording and dont know what it stands for?What is SR?

Last edited by David3; 12-04-2013 at 06:53 PM. Reason: wanted to add what an SR means
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted by David3 View Post
Hi,I just joined and want to know what an AR is and RA?I see alot of wording and dont know what it stands for?What is SR?
Hi David,

Welcome! Here's a link that should help: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-acronyms.html

RA - recovering alcoholic
SR - SoberRecovery.com
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:35 PM
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SR is SoberRecovery.com. RA is recovering alcoholic. This helps: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-acronyms.html
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:38 PM
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Well said, keepingthefaith. :P
Darn slow internet!
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Old 12-05-2013, 03:20 AM
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I have told my RA that there is help online. I have not mentioned this site, although due to the specificity of how and why I joined, if he was looking for the same answers to the question we were asking each other he may have ended up here too.
What is amazing to me is that out stories are all so similar, without a city or even country in "location" I think any of us would be hard to pinpoint. (Note my lack of location)

Now and then I look on the other side of the street (forum) to see what A's are going through. Don't know if it's bad or good, but I do it.
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Old 12-05-2013, 03:35 PM
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I told my RA about SR and suggested he check it out as I think it would be wonderful support and information for him. I'm not sure if he did or not, none of my business. I did choose a username that is non specific or me or us because what I post is none of his business. It's for me!

I do peruse the AA forums from time to time, and I've posted and commented there too. I find it's helpful to see their side of this, helps me to understand and have compassion for my RA. It's never a bad idea to be well informed.
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Old 12-05-2013, 08:19 PM
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I came across SR while my rah was in rehab. During one of our counseling sessions the dr asked if I had any help, when I mention sr he lit up, complimented me on the choice and later I recommended the site to my husband, I'd seen him check it out a few times and once he asked what my un was but I didn't tell him. I don't mind if he reads my posts but I'm not pointing them out. In no way would I ever want him to use my thoughts or words as ammo which I could almost guarantee would happen.
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