MakingMeHappy

The final hearing in my divorce is on Tuesday. We had mediation in September and agreed on everything then. I got what I requested.

Now, ASTBXH has informed me he will be at the final hearing. He does not need to be there since an we already have an agreement. I wonder if he has something planned to stall the divorce again or if he is just messing with me.

I'll try not to think about the future too much and focus on making today great. However, after 1 year and a few months of separation it would be nice if child support would begin. I am making ends meet for my DD and I but we could be living better.

overit263

You are so lucky. I can't wait to be where you are in the process!

MakingMeHappy

Overit I just read some of your story. WOW! I am sending positive thoughts your way. I hope that your divorce starts getting better and faster than it has so far. You deserve it!

overit263

Thank you! He told me today that he got a great job (he's only emailed since I blocked his number so he can't text) and that he's going to start paying the loans he left me with. I immediately got upset because it's like he lied, stole, probably cheated and just left the state and is starting all over. No accountability whatsoever. I need him to have a job so that he has to pay the terms of the divorce...but something just enraged me when I read the email. Like "hey, my life is great, and I'm not going to acknowledge all of the pain and wreckage I caused!". It made me sick to my stomach. No repercussions at all. As usual.

lillamy

I will be thinking of you and hope that all of it goes as planned. I hope it's a day free from stress and that you can focus your energy to build a new life. Hugs.

MakingMeHappy

Thanks Lilamy!

Overit, Sometimes our former significant others want us to think that their lives are "so much better" without us. They love to make us think we caused their issues. However, from what I have learned and experienced so far, it is just like when they lived with us, they continue to lie to protect their addictions. Hang in there. Life is so much better when you can focus on yourself and your own happiness. The further out you get from the relationship the easier it is to see all the manipulation and lies for what they truly are.

overit263

Thanks MMH! I know what you are saying is very true. I just hurt all over again. I did everything in support of this person and neglected myself. I know it will get better again, I'm just in a bad position and antsy for it to get better. I do not do well in limbo. Good luck on Tuesday!!! I'm so excited for you!

MakingMeHappy

The hearing went fine. AXH did not show. I am single!

hopeful4

Ahhh....Congratulations!!!!!!

I hope you have a super day today! So glad it went well!

overit263

Congratulations!!!!!! I can't wait to be where you are!

unsureoffuture

Yah! I'm glad it went well for you. Celebrate and do something good for yourself. I hope to be where you are very soon.

lillamy

Whew. Congratulations. I don't know what you feel like -- I know the day my divorce was final, I had thought I would feel like dancing in the streets (sort of like the end of World War II, those pictures you've seen, you know?).

All I wanted to do was sleep. I just felt empty and spent. And I've learned since that apparently that's a pretty normal reaction.

EIther way, I am so glad he didn't show and that it's over!

MakingMeHappy

Lillamy, I am not really dancing in the streets today. I am smiling a lot though. I am glad that that part of my life is done. I am ready for the next chapter of my life. I am looking forward to much better days filled with people who love me for who I am and doing the things that I enjoy. I have been living apart from my AXH for over a year and every day it just gets better.

I am disappointed that child support will not be taken from his pay and that he is to pay me directly. HA! Like that is going to happen...NOT! He is already owes several thousands in arrears. I will either have to file a motion for contempt of court and request an income deduction order or have to go through the Department of Revenue. Of course my attorney wants me to rehire him for the court order, etc.. Honestly, I thought it was automatic in my state to do the income deduction order from the start. Oh well. I have come this far. I can go the rest of the way.

Thanks for all of the support throughout this journey that I am on. I would not be as healthy as I am without SR. The people here are wonderful! I know I still have a way to go and may never really be a "normie" again. However, I am stronger and happier than I have ever been before.