coolchick

Thankfulness can be a tricky thing. I am a great believer in gratitude lists and counting my blessings but I am struggling lately.

And the strange thing is I have much to be thankful for this year. My RAH has been sober for five and a half years and is recovering well from a liver transplant in July. My daughter also gave birth in July to a boy and a girl – beautiful healthy twins. She also has a great spouse and a super-active but super-smart four year old son. My Mom just turned 93 in November. And of course, I am thankful for all of you on this forum who, though we may be miles apart in age or distance and may not always agree on things, are all kindred spirits.

And yet I am feeling kind of hollow inside and my mind keeps wanting to go back and dwell on all the bad things from the past – growing up with a violent alcoholic father, my Mom’s dementia, my daughters fertility troubles, miscarriage and depression; my life with an active A for many, many years. I am having a hard time letting go of anger and resentment and feeling scared. Why does my brain do this to me?

With Thanksgiving coming tomorrow I am going to try very hard to concentrate on the blessings in my life. I thought maybe some of you would also like to share things you are thankful for.

I read a good quote:

“Without darkness, we may never know how bright the stars shine. Without battles, we could not know what victory feels like. Without adversity, we may never appreciate the abundance in our lives. Be thankful, not only for the easy times, but for every experience that has made you who you are.”

Happy Thanksgiving Friends.

Kassie2

Sometimes our experiences don't catch up with the present and make sense of them - hence why therapy or group meetings make sense. I am glad to read that things are good right now. That is important to focus on.

the past you have to work through in order to be able to appreciate what is in the present.

take a breath... stay in the present and if you think you need help to leave the past where it happened then you know what to do.

I understand what you are saying... you are not alone and it happens. I will admit that things are ok for me... but today I am thinking about the past and it allows me to feel lonely and sad just when things are going my way. The mind is a weird thing. Focusing on the present and being grateful for what is stays important.

OnawaMiniya

I think that feeling traumatized can cause the brain to replay all of the negative things over and over. Having felt long term fear, anxiety, sadness, etc...those things are powerful. We have the power to overcome them, but it is such hard work sometimes, isn't it? But it's well worth it.

I am thankful for my dog. I can't tell you how much I love her and what a friend she has been to me. An unconditional beautiful spirit of love. I'm thankful for her health which is excellent. I'm thankful for her smile...It's the best smile in the world. I'm thankful for my friends and family even if I don't have much of either in my life. I'm thankful for the help my in laws have given recently. I'm thankful for people here for being...Just the best. Kind, understanding, wise. Funny. Good. I'm thankful for the kindness in the world, because it is so needed. I'm thankful for the opportunities I have as a woman living where I do, though it's not perfect, and I ache for those women and girls around the world that suffer terribly simply for being female. Lately I've been trying to remind myself to do the best I can in life, because those girls and women would be ever so grateful to have some of the opportunity I do.

And I'm thankful for humor. It's a life saver.

Peace.