Told the kids
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 47
Told the kids
Things seem to be happening quickly here...
Just a couple of days ago, I told AH that I was officially done. He accepts it. Due to money issues, he can't actually leave the house. So last night he slept in the basement. Now he is bringing a mattress from the lakehouse and putting it down there. He moved his bureau down too. We are living as friends and roommates now. It makes the most sense, and it is really all we can do. But I feel better.
So we told the kids what is going on. They are 9, almost 8 and 5. The 5yo has no idea what it means. The others cried at first, but seemed completely fine an hour later. It is better for them b/c Nothing really changes except the fact that Daddy sleeps in the basement.
I think the healing can begin now.
Just a couple of days ago, I told AH that I was officially done. He accepts it. Due to money issues, he can't actually leave the house. So last night he slept in the basement. Now he is bringing a mattress from the lakehouse and putting it down there. He moved his bureau down too. We are living as friends and roommates now. It makes the most sense, and it is really all we can do. But I feel better.
So we told the kids what is going on. They are 9, almost 8 and 5. The 5yo has no idea what it means. The others cried at first, but seemed completely fine an hour later. It is better for them b/c Nothing really changes except the fact that Daddy sleeps in the basement.
I think the healing can begin now.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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For the first two or three months after rehab, Mrs. Hammer would have what I would call "episodes" where she would take a mattress and sleep by herself on the living room floor. That would hit for a week or two at a time.
Bothered me some at first. I would have dreams that she was there in bed with me. Finally got to the point were I just figured if she was going to go crazy, she could go there, alone. Now she is back in our bed most of the time.
Early on there is a LOT of nutty going on.
The kids and I just sort of learned to laugh about it. We would "code" it as the weather report. Ranged from "Clear and Sunny" to Hurricane. That way we could text or talk without Mrs. Hammer feeling more crazy that we were talking about her.
I know there is the "Respect and Dignity" drama crowd that is not real cool about us laughing -- but (mho) laughing beats the hell out Crying and Drama.
So maybe call the basement the "Dog House" and you can joke that Dad is in the Dog House or something.
Bothered me some at first. I would have dreams that she was there in bed with me. Finally got to the point were I just figured if she was going to go crazy, she could go there, alone. Now she is back in our bed most of the time.
Early on there is a LOT of nutty going on.
The kids and I just sort of learned to laugh about it. We would "code" it as the weather report. Ranged from "Clear and Sunny" to Hurricane. That way we could text or talk without Mrs. Hammer feeling more crazy that we were talking about her.
I know there is the "Respect and Dignity" drama crowd that is not real cool about us laughing -- but (mho) laughing beats the hell out Crying and Drama.
So maybe call the basement the "Dog House" and you can joke that Dad is in the Dog House or something.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 47
We told them that we are not going to be "together" anymore, and that eventually AH will live somewhere else. But we stressed that we are still friends, and that Daddy will still be here for a long time, and nothing is going to change for them.
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