Help me except this with grace..I dont want to be that girl...
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: back woods USA
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Help me except this with grace..I dont want to be that girl...
I found out through mutual friends this morning that XRAH got a huge promotion at work...
He is almost 4 years sober...always has been a hard worker. Even while drinking his work ethic was and is untouchable. I should be happy for him right? a bigger person would be.
but im feeling petty and spiteful...we are struggling here, he pays his support with no problem...with bitterness but still pays it. I am without medical and struggling to support myself and my son and he only has himself and no worries. He is not involved with our son at all. Im dealing with the fall out and he lives this carefree life with that woman. when we first got married he had just got out of the Navy, couldn't find a job so I called a friends father and got him the job he has now..he has moved up the chain and is now the head guy in charge. He started as a laborer and 20 years later is head honcho...I would be proud of all his hard work if he wasn't such an ass hat....
help me take this with grace, tell me how petty Im being ...I hate myself right now.
He is almost 4 years sober...always has been a hard worker. Even while drinking his work ethic was and is untouchable. I should be happy for him right? a bigger person would be.
but im feeling petty and spiteful...we are struggling here, he pays his support with no problem...with bitterness but still pays it. I am without medical and struggling to support myself and my son and he only has himself and no worries. He is not involved with our son at all. Im dealing with the fall out and he lives this carefree life with that woman. when we first got married he had just got out of the Navy, couldn't find a job so I called a friends father and got him the job he has now..he has moved up the chain and is now the head guy in charge. He started as a laborer and 20 years later is head honcho...I would be proud of all his hard work if he wasn't such an ass hat....
help me take this with grace, tell me how petty Im being ...I hate myself right now.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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formyboys---I understand exactly how you feel. Some day when you have left him very, very far behind, on the shore, you won't have such intense feelings. He won't be living, rent free, in your head...LOL.
Remember--all feelings are real--it is just how we deal with those feelings, in the end, that matters.
Don't feel guilty for your feelings--and just stuff them--that would be unhealthy for YOu.
Living well is the best revenge--actually, living well is BETTER than revenge!!
dandylion
Remember--all feelings are real--it is just how we deal with those feelings, in the end, that matters.
Don't feel guilty for your feelings--and just stuff them--that would be unhealthy for YOu.
Living well is the best revenge--actually, living well is BETTER than revenge!!
dandylion
box of chocolates
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
What your feeling is pretty darn normal. I did the same thing for my ah and Found him the job that pretty much set him up and if We were not together anymore and I was in your shoes.....i would probably feel a little bitterness as well. The good thing is you recognize that you do not find that bitterness acceptable and want to move forward. the best cure for bitterness is letting out all those feelings. Sometimes in order to be the "bigger person" or feel "healthy" we have to talk about our feelings.
Nobody would be jumping up and down for their exah who lives with another woman and doesn't support his child the way he should. nobody. So don't feel bad.
Nobody would be jumping up and down for their exah who lives with another woman and doesn't support his child the way he should. nobody. So don't feel bad.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 9
Feel what you feel.
Allow yourself to be bitter, pissy, you SOB I GOT you that job fat lot of thanks I've gotten for it.
Feel them, but don't wallow in them. You may never be happy for him, but that's ok. Wouldn't you rather get thru the eye rolling and feeling bitter and get to "eh, whatever" than feel guilty and fake happiness for him, and still feel bitter underneath?
Nothing, anywhere, says that you are obligated to swallow your emotions and be happy for him just because others think you should. ^my current motto....might be useful
Allow yourself to be bitter, pissy, you SOB I GOT you that job fat lot of thanks I've gotten for it.
Feel them, but don't wallow in them. You may never be happy for him, but that's ok. Wouldn't you rather get thru the eye rolling and feeling bitter and get to "eh, whatever" than feel guilty and fake happiness for him, and still feel bitter underneath?
Nothing, anywhere, says that you are obligated to swallow your emotions and be happy for him just because others think you should.
I don't care what you think about me, I don't think about you at all-CoCo Chanel
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: back woods USA
Posts: 171
aw the whole im human thing...lol!
I want to be the bigger person and usually manage to do it...as I will this time. If he ever mentions it I will congratulate him and be graceful. I find it funny that he is hiding it from me, probably from fear of me raising his support, which I would never do. But the fact that he thinks that way of me after knowing me for 20 years bothers me.
it would be easier to take if he was the stand up kind of man he should be and say hey, I got this great promation...If you guys need anything let me know and I will help in any way I can. LOL!!..if life only went the way it goes in our heads.
The petty girl in me wants just one thing to go wrong for him, so he doesn't think 'leaving her was the best thing I ever did"...the woman in me says good for him, hes worked hard for that and deserves it....I need to let it go and get myself there to!!
all in good time...I supose
I want to be the bigger person and usually manage to do it...as I will this time. If he ever mentions it I will congratulate him and be graceful. I find it funny that he is hiding it from me, probably from fear of me raising his support, which I would never do. But the fact that he thinks that way of me after knowing me for 20 years bothers me.
it would be easier to take if he was the stand up kind of man he should be and say hey, I got this great promation...If you guys need anything let me know and I will help in any way I can. LOL!!..if life only went the way it goes in our heads.
The petty girl in me wants just one thing to go wrong for him, so he doesn't think 'leaving her was the best thing I ever did"...the woman in me says good for him, hes worked hard for that and deserves it....I need to let it go and get myself there to!!
all in good time...I supose
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: back woods USA
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yes msfixit, I could but wont...Ive always felt kind of yucky for taking the support I do...he pays minimal in child support but a nice chunk for alimony...good old California. 
it allows me to work part time while I find something out here in the state we just moved to. I am looking at going back to school to get a nursing degree...Im part time clerical at a hospital now. I worked part time with special ed students (as my son has was in the special ed system and it allowed me to have the same schedule as him) the whole time we were married. I could not support myself on that income.
I don't want to be dependent on him at all...I want to support myself and would feel crummy if I had it raised...but he is making well over 100 grand now and only has himself to support. that's a mighty fine life. but like I said he pays his support and that is a good thing.
it allows me to work part time while I find something out here in the state we just moved to. I am looking at going back to school to get a nursing degree...Im part time clerical at a hospital now. I worked part time with special ed students (as my son has was in the special ed system and it allowed me to have the same schedule as him) the whole time we were married. I could not support myself on that income.
I don't want to be dependent on him at all...I want to support myself and would feel crummy if I had it raised...but he is making well over 100 grand now and only has himself to support. that's a mighty fine life. but like I said he pays his support and that is a good thing.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
IF . . . . you really want to mess with him.
and change the way you feel about the whole thing.
It is not very intuitive, but the results can be amazing, so maybe think about it.
Here is something you can do.
Really, Really, messes with things in my experience.
Pray. For him.
That God will continue to Bless him, and that he can be a Good/Godly Man or even better man and do even better in the job, AND that he were to become a Godly Father to your son.
I am pretty sure you may find yourself just laughing happy about the outcome. At least that has always been my experience.
and change the way you feel about the whole thing.
It is not very intuitive, but the results can be amazing, so maybe think about it.
Here is something you can do.
Really, Really, messes with things in my experience.
Pray. For him.
That God will continue to Bless him, and that he can be a Good/Godly Man or even better man and do even better in the job, AND that he were to become a Godly Father to your son.
I am pretty sure you may find yourself just laughing happy about the outcome. At least that has always been my experience.
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,057
It’s not petty to have feelings. It would be petty to react foolishly and make choices that might hurt others, but your venting here isn't hurting anyone. We codependents tend to forget that we don’t have to be perfect, that it is okay to have ‘negative’ emotions or feelings toward others, and that it doesn't make us bad people. It’s what we do with our feelings that matters. Vent if you need to and then remember what the others here have said. A life well-lived is the best revenge (or medicine, I think.) You know…keep doing what you’re doing, caring for yourself and your son. Keep working hard, treating people well (including yourself) and you will be cared for and provided for…even while your ex’s life with the other woman appears to be peachy (at least financially) from the outside. Remember the gifts you have, especially that of your son who is also lucky to have you.
For what it’s worth, my story and yours have many similarities. Many years ago, I struggled as a single mother with three little ones while my xah raked in the cash as a successful business owner and he and his new girlfriend spent lots of money and time with each other…and very, very little time with our daughters. Like you, I prayed countless prayers for my kids that their dad would find his way back to them. He has now and although it’s not perfect, they at least have relationships with him. Oh…and he also has gone from financial success to bankruptcy due to health problems (requiring major surgery) that he incurred without health insurance. He and his wife (the girl he cheated with back then) are not happy in their marriage.
I would be lying if I said there wasn't some level of satisfaction in watching how things have played out in their lives, but honestly…I mostly don’t care. I’m not financially rich (not even close) but I have worked hard to provide for my girls, tried to treat others well (still have work to do in that area), and my girls and I have always been cared for. We always make it, one way or another, financially.
Eventually your anger and hurt will fade because you have moved on and built a new life for you and your son. You have a lot to be proud of. I pray for your son that his dad will choose to be a dad again, and a good one.
For what it’s worth, my story and yours have many similarities. Many years ago, I struggled as a single mother with three little ones while my xah raked in the cash as a successful business owner and he and his new girlfriend spent lots of money and time with each other…and very, very little time with our daughters. Like you, I prayed countless prayers for my kids that their dad would find his way back to them. He has now and although it’s not perfect, they at least have relationships with him. Oh…and he also has gone from financial success to bankruptcy due to health problems (requiring major surgery) that he incurred without health insurance. He and his wife (the girl he cheated with back then) are not happy in their marriage.
I would be lying if I said there wasn't some level of satisfaction in watching how things have played out in their lives, but honestly…I mostly don’t care. I’m not financially rich (not even close) but I have worked hard to provide for my girls, tried to treat others well (still have work to do in that area), and my girls and I have always been cared for. We always make it, one way or another, financially.
Eventually your anger and hurt will fade because you have moved on and built a new life for you and your son. You have a lot to be proud of.
I pray for your son that his dad will choose to be a dad again, and a good one.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,218
Originally Posted by Hammer 
IF . . . . you really want to mess with him.
and change the way you feel about the whole thing.
It is not very intuitive, but the results can be amazing, so maybe think about it.
Here is something you can do.
Really, Really, messes with things in my experience.
Pray. For him.
That God will continue to Bless him, and that he can be a Good/Godly Man or even better man and do even better...
and change the way you feel about the whole thing.
It is not very intuitive, but the results can be amazing, so maybe think about it.
Here is something you can do.
Really, Really, messes with things in my experience.
Pray. For him.
That God will continue to Bless him, and that he can be a Good/Godly Man or even better man and do even better...
Peace.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 216
My XRAH who worked little during our marriage is now a millionaire..as in cash in the bank money millionaire. Luckily I am fine, I am better than fine but i certainly don't have that much cash. I still work myself to the bone daily and am so tired and uncertain about the future, that 10 years later I asked him if he would be willing to share a Teensy bit sometime in the future if I needed it, and the conditions were right, for example if he sold the house that I GAVE him when we divorced.
tops it would have been 50,000 dollars and I would have been happy with much less... I still honestly think I earned it for the years of loneliness I had and that I actually DID pay for the house, right or wrong..that is my feeling.
The answer was no..
And believe it or not, although I was hurt by the answer, I literally let it go within hours. something I could not have done 5 or 10 years ago.
It was an "oh well, at least I tried" and I went on with my day.
However if this would have happened shorty after our split, bitterness and rage would not have come close to describing how I know I would have felt, let alone spiteful and petty!
I only tell you this because it is amazing what time will do to your well being and mond set if you work on yourself long enough.
Living better is the best revenge, but living as best you can goes pretty far too.
tops it would have been 50,000 dollars and I would have been happy with much less... I still honestly think I earned it for the years of loneliness I had and that I actually DID pay for the house, right or wrong..that is my feeling.
The answer was no..
And believe it or not, although I was hurt by the answer, I literally let it go within hours. something I could not have done 5 or 10 years ago.
It was an "oh well, at least I tried" and I went on with my day.
However if this would have happened shorty after our split, bitterness and rage would not have come close to describing how I know I would have felt, let alone spiteful and petty!
I only tell you this because it is amazing what time will do to your well being and mond set if you work on yourself long enough.
Living better is the best revenge, but living as best you can goes pretty far too.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 109
I think Dr. Laura speaks really well to this subject. Handling betrayal is one of life's greatest challenges, in my opinion. I haven't read it, but Dr. Laura's book "Surviving a Shark Attack On Land" goes over this topic very thoroughly, and might be helpful. Here's a link to the description of the book:
Dr. Laura: Surviving a Shark Attack (On Land): Overcoming Betrayal and Dealing with Revenge
Her books are available at my library, so they might be at yours too. Just a thought.
It sounds like your head is in the right place and praying for your ex shows that. To let your heart catch up, I think it's OK to really engage in those feelings for a certain time frame--say, a week, and then when the week is over, put it behind you as best you can. Suppressing the feelings of anger and disappointment often makes them last longer or become expressed as anxiety or depression. Anyone in your situation would have those feelings, they are part of being human. I love the quote: "We aren't humans having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience" by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. I have faith that your spirit will persevere as the very human emotions of jealousy and disappointment move through you.
Dr. Laura: Surviving a Shark Attack (On Land): Overcoming Betrayal and Dealing with Revenge
Her books are available at my library, so they might be at yours too. Just a thought.
It sounds like your head is in the right place and praying for your ex shows that. To let your heart catch up, I think it's OK to really engage in those feelings for a certain time frame--say, a week, and then when the week is over, put it behind you as best you can. Suppressing the feelings of anger and disappointment often makes them last longer or become expressed as anxiety or depression. Anyone in your situation would have those feelings, they are part of being human. I love the quote: "We aren't humans having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience" by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. I have faith that your spirit will persevere as the very human emotions of jealousy and disappointment move through you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: back woods USA
Posts: 171
ok, so this is going to be the vent of all vents...since you guys have all given me permission to do so Im going to take advantage of it and just get them all out. They are hanging out inside of me since I found out about his promotion and taking up way to much space....
I AM pissed.....I am pissed that for 16 years I lived with his alcoholic behaviors and all that that involves, I loved him and was there for the DUIs and the guilt that followed. I nagged and complained...I supported and loved and wanted to fix our relationship, wanted him to stop. All the times he said he would, only to start again months later. all the chances I gave him. The fact that I allowed him into my kids lives and that he raised them as his own for 16+ years even after we separated.
Im pissed that after our separation he then became the "perfect husband and father" telling all of us how sorry he was for what he put us through and how he only needed and wanted his family and loved all of us so much.....BUT he was working on himself and still had work to do...only to sneak off and start another relationship without even trying to repair the family he already had. That after 20 years he just cuts my older sons off and has no relationship with them like they never even existed, not to mention the son we have together that he just lets twist in the wind.
IM PISSED that I have boxes of pictures from the life we had and don't know what to do with them..they are pictures of our life (meaning my kids) and he is in every one. Im pissed that I have to think about that crap and he doesn't. Im pissed that I take a shower and have to use towels that we had , dishes we had, Im surrounded by our things and he just goes out and buys new stuff...doesn't have that problem!!
IM PISSED that I have had to stand in food lines to feed my son....ME!..miss independent who has always taken care of her kids, has been reduced to that while he never has a financial care in the world. And obviously spends money on this woman who is living my life with the sober husband I always wanted.
Most of all Im pissed that for all those years and no matter how bad it got, I still loved him and I thought he loved me. I thought we were best friends, he was mine. I thought no matter what, divorce, what ever he would have my back. People get divorced that I get, but to just cut people out of your life...that he doesn't even care or spend a minute wondering how I am...If Im ok, That he cant even co parent and be civil to me when Im not the one who did anything wrong. Oh im sure I was hard to live with by the time he quit drinking I was angry....But for him to treat ME like Im this horrible person after all that HE has done...I AM PISSED!!!
And now he gets a freaken promotion??!!!! are you kidding me??!! at the job I got him way back when he had nothing...but bad credit and a stereo. I let him into my family, raise my kids, built this amazing household and life...only to be dismissed like a high school gf that he just changed his mind about. OMG IM PISSED.
I AM PISSED that the two times I have reached out to him to try and mend fences, try to have some type of relationship so our son can so some kind of normalcy, to try and include him in our sons life he does not respond. When a chance is offered for him to be involved he has ignored it..every time.
Hes a overweight, bald, bad teeth having, emotionally stunted, self involved alcoholic .....who I loved for the better part of my life and miss terribly. Gawd...what does that say about me??!!
Thanks for listening....burn this immediantly after reading...
I AM pissed.....I am pissed that for 16 years I lived with his alcoholic behaviors and all that that involves, I loved him and was there for the DUIs and the guilt that followed. I nagged and complained...I supported and loved and wanted to fix our relationship, wanted him to stop. All the times he said he would, only to start again months later. all the chances I gave him. The fact that I allowed him into my kids lives and that he raised them as his own for 16+ years even after we separated.
Im pissed that after our separation he then became the "perfect husband and father" telling all of us how sorry he was for what he put us through and how he only needed and wanted his family and loved all of us so much.....BUT he was working on himself and still had work to do...only to sneak off and start another relationship without even trying to repair the family he already had. That after 20 years he just cuts my older sons off and has no relationship with them like they never even existed, not to mention the son we have together that he just lets twist in the wind.
IM PISSED that I have boxes of pictures from the life we had and don't know what to do with them..they are pictures of our life (meaning my kids) and he is in every one. Im pissed that I have to think about that crap and he doesn't. Im pissed that I take a shower and have to use towels that we had , dishes we had, Im surrounded by our things and he just goes out and buys new stuff...doesn't have that problem!!
IM PISSED that I have had to stand in food lines to feed my son....ME!..miss independent who has always taken care of her kids, has been reduced to that while he never has a financial care in the world. And obviously spends money on this woman who is living my life with the sober husband I always wanted.
Most of all Im pissed that for all those years and no matter how bad it got, I still loved him and I thought he loved me. I thought we were best friends, he was mine. I thought no matter what, divorce, what ever he would have my back. People get divorced that I get, but to just cut people out of your life...that he doesn't even care or spend a minute wondering how I am...If Im ok, That he cant even co parent and be civil to me when Im not the one who did anything wrong. Oh im sure I was hard to live with by the time he quit drinking I was angry....But for him to treat ME like Im this horrible person after all that HE has done...I AM PISSED!!!
And now he gets a freaken promotion??!!!! are you kidding me??!! at the job I got him way back when he had nothing...but bad credit and a stereo. I let him into my family, raise my kids, built this amazing household and life...only to be dismissed like a high school gf that he just changed his mind about. OMG IM PISSED.
I AM PISSED that the two times I have reached out to him to try and mend fences, try to have some type of relationship so our son can so some kind of normalcy, to try and include him in our sons life he does not respond. When a chance is offered for him to be involved he has ignored it..every time.
Hes a overweight, bald, bad teeth having, emotionally stunted, self involved alcoholic .....who I loved for the better part of my life and miss terribly. Gawd...what does that say about me??!!
Thanks for listening....burn this immediantly after reading...
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Rochester, ny
Posts: 405
Good on you for saying what you really feel!!
Are you refusing to demand a raise commensurate with his because you're proving that you're independent...and *a better person than him*?
You're doing his parenting job for free and thinking that you're proving how good you are by praying for him *and refusing* to demand what you deserve. At least that's how it looks from here.
We pray for others' happiness but forget that we must pray and TAKE ACTION on behalf of our own happiness as well. Barely scraping by so you can feel you're taking the higher road isn't taking respectful care of you or the kids.
Are you refusing to demand a raise commensurate with his because you're proving that you're independent...and *a better person than him*?
You're doing his parenting job for free and thinking that you're proving how good you are by praying for him *and refusing* to demand what you deserve. At least that's how it looks from here.
We pray for others' happiness but forget that we must pray and TAKE ACTION on behalf of our own happiness as well. Barely scraping by so you can feel you're taking the higher road isn't taking respectful care of you or the kids.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 109
Nicely done. That sounded like a fierce Mama Bear rooooar.
You asked what it says about you? It says that, like me, you had a bad picker. You were kind and generous and forgiving to the wrong man. You had to learn that lesson the hard way, I did too. But boy oh boy, did we learn that lesson.
I have heard it said from recovering alcoholics, that even when they act like they are blameless, and the spouse ruined their life, that deep down they do know exactly how things went down. Your ex knows, you know, the Universe knows. If he's not in a true spiritual recovery program though, you'll have a very hard time mending fences. Forget the fence. He's an "emotionally stunted" man who will never be generous or just or fair to you. He got a raise? Get the maximum amount of child support and tuck some of it away in the bank for your son. And perhaps for a few months, while you're healing, use a portion of the alimony to do something meaningful and pleasurable for yourself. You deserve it.
You asked what it says about you? It says that, like me, you had a bad picker. You were kind and generous and forgiving to the wrong man. You had to learn that lesson the hard way, I did too. But boy oh boy, did we learn that lesson.
I have heard it said from recovering alcoholics, that even when they act like they are blameless, and the spouse ruined their life, that deep down they do know exactly how things went down. Your ex knows, you know, the Universe knows. If he's not in a true spiritual recovery program though, you'll have a very hard time mending fences. Forget the fence. He's an "emotionally stunted" man who will never be generous or just or fair to you. He got a raise? Get the maximum amount of child support and tuck some of it away in the bank for your son. And perhaps for a few months, while you're healing, use a portion of the alimony to do something meaningful and pleasurable for yourself. You deserve it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: back woods USA
Posts: 171
all of you have given me things to think about...I don't think Im not going after more child support to feel like Im independent or a good person, I just honestly felt like he was doing his part and I should do mine. It is both of our responsibility to support our son. Yes he is able to support him more then he was now....and BtheChange, your right, he has not been generous or just or fair...as many chances as I have given him. I would like for him to step up and say hey...I got a raise, let me know if you guys need anything and ill help out....LOL!!..I know, in a perfect world that would be great.
Im giving it some time and thinking on what my motives are and I will proceed from there...I believe that if you have a child you are supporting that they should live a life as well if not better then you are. my son is always the first priority in all situations including financially. I expect the same from his father. I just don't want it to come from a place of spite.
As far as mending fences, Im beginning to except that it probabley wont happen. Before we moved away I reached out to him and told him I would like to at least have a relationship that would allow our son to see that his parents are able to be mature adults and move on, be friendly and forgive each other. He did not respond, acted as if I hadn't said anything. So I let it go. About 2 weeks ago I again reached out, sent him an email and told him that I was sad that it has deteriorated to the way it was....that after 20 years we should be able to raise our son together. that I missed our friendship that we always had and maybe it was time to put all of the negative behind us and remember that even through everything we went through in the 20 years we have known each other we always had each others back and cared about each other. Nothing....no response at all. So I guess that is that. I feel stupid for trying again but I can say I tried everything and I guess its really out of my control.
As far as the child support...I truly just want to do the right thing. I just don't want to do it when I feeling angry or resentful.
Im giving it some time and thinking on what my motives are and I will proceed from there...I believe that if you have a child you are supporting that they should live a life as well if not better then you are. my son is always the first priority in all situations including financially. I expect the same from his father. I just don't want it to come from a place of spite.
As far as mending fences, Im beginning to except that it probabley wont happen. Before we moved away I reached out to him and told him I would like to at least have a relationship that would allow our son to see that his parents are able to be mature adults and move on, be friendly and forgive each other. He did not respond, acted as if I hadn't said anything. So I let it go. About 2 weeks ago I again reached out, sent him an email and told him that I was sad that it has deteriorated to the way it was....that after 20 years we should be able to raise our son together. that I missed our friendship that we always had and maybe it was time to put all of the negative behind us and remember that even through everything we went through in the 20 years we have known each other we always had each others back and cared about each other. Nothing....no response at all. So I guess that is that. I feel stupid for trying again but I can say I tried everything and I guess its really out of my control.
As far as the child support...I truly just want to do the right thing. I just don't want to do it when I feeling angry or resentful.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Don't cheat your son out of your husband's financial obligations to your son. Your husband got a pay raise and his life is better off because of it and so should his son's life be better off because of it.
If you don't want the money, open an account for your son and deposit the money for future use on education, down payment on a car or an apartment when he's ready to spread his wings.
I don't know how your state runs but in Pa, we have 3 year reviews and the kids get increases when the money is there.
If you don't want the money, open an account for your son and deposit the money for future use on education, down payment on a car or an apartment when he's ready to spread his wings.
I don't know how your state runs but in Pa, we have 3 year reviews and the kids get increases when the money is there.
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