choublak

There's confiding in someone else.

Then there are suicide threats that appear to be an attempt to scare you or make you do something you don't want to do, making someone else's decision whether to live or die conditional on your response.

And if someone says "I want to die", do they really want to die, or do they not want to live the life they have? There is a difference.

healthyagain

Thanks, choublak, but you see, he is snoring now and I am awake on SR. And the same scenario happened many many times before (another frequent sentence is "there is nothing to live for"). He will not try to kill himself, he ain't going nowhere, just going to suck my blood. He even said, "when I die, you take the money and travel, and see the world, see how it is." I only told him, "I am really sorry you think that," but I was like "what money are you exactly talking about, you dumbass?"

And he tried to pick a fight tonight with some pretty racist comments, because he KNOWS how much I HATE racism.

He is actually pretty bothered by the fact that I might be opening my very own bank account soon (and I sure will, just waiting for my next check). I am very proud of my detachment and lowered expectations. You see, I knew this Saturday would happen. I simply knew it. And on top of that, not enough Sunday beer. Ouch.

I have a new approach now. It is, "you keep your drinking, no problem, but I get to do my stuff without you, and you do not have right to complain about it."

PippiLngstockng

My guess is he is seriously threatened by your growing detachment. And so he is trying to manipulate you by suggesting he will die if you continue on your current course of action.

I would caution you to not advertise opening your own bank account. Threatening self harm can easily turn to threats to harm you. That is what happened in my case. If you are thinking of moving on in your life without him, best to make your plan without cluing him in. That is going to be difficult, if you are used to confiding and sharing your life with your A. But he can't be your confidante if you also need to detach from him.

Good luck on your journey and be careful.

choublak

In my case, this approach actually was part of what "got" my loved one sober, IMHO.