Seren

Hello Singledad,

I can only begin to imagine the journey it has been for you and your girls to arrive at this point. Your care and concern for your precious daughters is apparent.

I hope that tonight you will be able to get some rest. I can only second what the others have said, document everything and hand it over to your attorney.

You and your girls will be in my prayers tonight. I hope that someday your wife will finally reach out for the help she needs.

Please take good care, S

ShootingStar1

All I can offer is what I finally learned in dealing with my then alcoholic porn addicted husband during our divorce. He sent me spreadsheet after spreadsheet of ludicrous offers where he got the whole house value and I got the timeshares, valued at their original purchase price... He made me nuts every time I had to have any contact, which he made sure was often.

Finally I realized that when I handled him successfully, it was because I recognized the difference between my heart and my head. I let myself feel everything I wanted to feel, but when it came time for decisions and actions, I put my heart away and acted in my best interest from my head.

It works. Tomorrow just remember why you are in court, and focus on what you need to accomplish to take care of your precious girls, and let the rest fade away like smoke in a hurricane wind.

ShootingStar1

Hammer

And hey, as far as Court --

Get your mind right, get prayed up, and lay claim of this . . .

You may know the source . .. .

Do not worry, about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you

I did that and I wound up TOTALLY kicking the butts of G.W's own Supreme Court nominee, and her lead staff attorneys in open court. And I was pro-se. Well, not so much me. Like that scripture and Alanon all claim -- It is a spiritual program.

SingledadPolo73

Thanks Guys...Only 3 hours left. Thanks for the support and advise. Here goes nothing

lillamy

Praying that it all goes according to plan. Just breathe and trust the process.

bazzza28

Hope all goes good for you today good luck

Seren

Breathe....good luck!!! You and your precious girls will be in my prayers today!

Kat60

Good Luck today!!!

hopeful4

Praying for you and your family today!!!

FireSprite

Sending you lots of prayers today Dad, best of luck!!

Hawkeye13

Hi Singledad;
Hope things went well yesterday. Sending you and your kids good wishes.

Florence

Hope things went well. Let us know.

SingledadPolo73

Thanks for thinking about me. Unfortunately, I think I had my hopes up too high. There were 3 female judges and AW showed up with her hair done and in high heels. We managed to submit the statement from school saying she harassed and insulted the entire school staff and was probably under the influence of alcohol.
AW's lawyer basically stated that her drinking and depression is all my fault...apparently, I didnt give her enough support and so much blah, blah, that I really felt sick.
The next hearing is at the end of January. At least I know that her mother, aunt, some distant cousin that doesnt even know us and our house maid will be testifying against me...
After the hearing AW sent me an email saying she now want to speak to the kids everyday and want to take them away for the weekend. I replied saying she can call only if sober but there is now way in hell I am letting the kids go with her....This is going to be a long journey.

hopeful4

Still praying and still thinking you are an amazing dad!!!!

Hammer

Just an observation -- Competent Smart Women (if the judges are) tend to be far harder on BS Drunk Women, because they can see through them. Men are tend to be kind of dumb and cannot. Does that not match (y)our experience? (else why would we be where we are?)

Keep in mind -- ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD . . . . for those who LOVE GOOD/GOD.

You (and I) need to work on the second part of that. He will handle the front part.

Walk by Faith, Not by Sight.

LightInside

Only time can tell, Single Dad. Keep on keeping on and taking good care of your girls. We'll be praying for you.

Quish16

Good luck - you are doing the best you can for your girls. Alcoholics can be so very believable. It is so sad that your wife is putting drinking before her daughters. Thank god they have you.

dandylion

Singledad--I don't know if this is much consolation for you, today--but, remember that alcoholism is progressive....and, if you give an alcoholic enough rope they will, EVENTUALLY, hang themselves with it.

I don't remember if you already said--but, does she drive intoxicated.....

dandylion

wanttobehealthy

So very sorry Singledad... I was appalled at our first court hearing to have a female judge be harsh toward ME, after hearing from xAH's lawyer that his drinking was a poor coping mechanism used to cope with my mental illness. The judge listened to that load then looked at me for a defense apparently (I had a different lawyer then than I do now).

It seems that throughout this country judges are remiss to be critical of drunks. It seems time and time again no matter what the evidence is or how hurtful the drunks behaviors are for the kids, judges want to give them chance after chance....

At least you now know a bit more what her strategy will be (play victim- the A's favorite role) so hopefully your lawyer can be prepared...

I have found that email has been my best friend with regard to xAH. I am UBER careful about how I write things to him and I have gone through YEARS of emails from him gathering apologies for his behaviors. Whether I need it all or not, it's good to have...

Do you have proof that this is a pattern of behavior (emails? texts where she admits it? or trips to rehab?)

I would caution you against writing things to her saying you wont give her access to the kids bc she could try and use that against you.

Make everything explicitly about your concern for the kids, their safety and your years long concern about her addiction and out of control drinking.... Put that in writing to her and make that clear that that is the reason the kids are with you-- not her.

My interactions with xAH are business like and I say the same few things over and over... He however rants and rages via email and text at me and it will all be helpful in court I hope....

Hopefully some of this is helpful...

I'm sorry yesterday wasn't great for you. It sucks.

dandylion

Singledad---I think Scaredy Squirrel makes a verrry good point. I have heard others who have gone through the custody he** give the same advice. (again, give enough rope...).

dandylion