Upsetnneedhelp

I was thinking about the disease concept of addiction and the common treatments. My son attended around a dozen of rehabs and he always returned to drug use after he got out. Most of these were court ordered, state run facilities. His life consisted of living with myself (mom), some girlfriend, treatment center and/or jail. He was very adept at freeloading off others. It was like a merry go round from hell. However, during those 12 or so treatment stays it was pretty much the same information. My son seemed to do better when he attended church. I feel as if being around fellow alcoholics and addicts is just too dangerous. Just wondering if anyones loved ones found sobriety outside the standard aa approach.

Dee74

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

all of these are based on people with personal experience helping one another tho - like this website

D

LaTeeDa

Unfortunately, treatment for alcoholism does not always equal a cure. There are many available options, however the bottom line seems to be that the addict has to want to stop. If this condition is not in place, there is no treatment that will work. Kinda like the old proverb about leading a horse to water....

L

Upsetnneedhelp

[QUOTE=LaTeeDa;4292504]Unfortunately, treatment for alcoholism does not always equal a cure. There are many available options, however the bottom line seems to be that the addict has to want to stop. If this condition is not in place, there is no treatment that will work.

I believe at some point, around the 6th treatment, he did want to stop. But at that point his life was too far gone with the various criminal charges and physical problems. They should of offered him alternatives so he would not have to resort to the self medication routine. He's spent 1/3 of his adult life in prison and it could've turned out different.

KateL

I just found my own option because nothing else worked. I believe everyone is different.

honeypig

I believe this is exactly what AA is founded on--that there is no one better to understand and help an A who is struggling for recovery than another A who's been there and crawled out of that pit. We who are not addicts ourselves can't truly understand what it's like.

Kind of like how we help each other here in F&F and, for the most part, find it way more useful than talking to people who have not walked in our shoes.

hopeful4

I don't think it's all about what rehab or program you are in, it is your own attitude about addiction. Until you are in the mind frame to kick addiction FOR YOU and no one else, it seems to never ever work. It amazes me b/c so many people have so much to lose. I also beleive there is some truth to the fact that other addicts can be a trigger to someone trying to recover. Some people do very well in a setting like AA. Some do well in rehab. Some successful with therapy. All who recover do it for themselves. Someone brought up the fact that rehab is a very very controlled setting and you have to learn to live out on your own with temptations all around you once you leave. It has to be hard, that is for sure. I think sober living facilities are a huge positive but that is just my opinion.

I am also of the opinion that the state should not be so quick to order rehab over jail time. It seems like I see alot more people being successful after some hard jail time than rehab. That is observation from the program I go to for codependency, Celebrate Recovery. We have had many testimonies from people who it took hard jail time to clean up. I am sure it is much harder to detox in jail than rehab...but detox you do one way or another.

I am so sorry you have went through so much and hope you are taking care of your needs!

Upsetnneedhelp

Some say rehab is a better option and cheaper than jails. I'm not so sure because my son did treatment again and again. Even the state funded ones are extremely expensive. Some people continue to use even while incarcerated. I guess, at this point, it's a moot point.

Lily1918

agreed. 100 %

choublak

Some people use in rehab.

Spinner-007

Everything I've ever read or heard about overcoming addiction almost always requires the addict to really want it.

Upset, it sounds like almost all attempts of rehabbing was forced on your son by external sources(courts, etc) than him making the hardcore choice is seeking recovery because he saw that he needed or he really wanted it.

If he was freeloading on others as much as you mentioned, then he may have been spared of making that hard choice, as well as a lot of others.

Please don't read this as being judgmental, but perhaps an actual reason why his early attempts failed.

It brings to mind this experience:

I listened to a training session where the facilitator was asked how hard a person should try after something they really wanted. He said to imagine someone alot larger than you holding your head underwater in a pool. Then he asked how hard would we fight for that next breath of oxygen.

He said its with this same desperate intensity we should pursue what we want, because without that kind of effort, we will seldom get what we truly want.

Perhaps that same level of intensity is needed to overcome addiction.

choublak

Then why do courts even "sentence" people to AA and rehab?

thislonelygirl

To me i see it like it depends on the addict.....those must want to quit have their different reasons to do so, in their own way, at their own time and with their own values/religion but in the end the addict has MANY options.
those being when where why what and how.
making friends in rehab and then keeping them...that's the addicts choice.
as far as doing better while in church....choice, he could make church religion and recovery a priority and cut off the negativity.
it comes down to putting Recovery FIRST.

LaTeeDa

I often wondered that myself. Then, one night, I attended a retirement dinner for one of our local judges. He was very passionate about rehabilitation over incarceration. He said that if one life is turned around, then it's worth it. And that his only regret about retiring was that there was still so much work to be done. It was a beautiful moment and his sincerity was palpable. I looked around the room and saw many moist eyes.

And I agree with him. If you go by statistics and averages, the story of addiction is overwhelming sad and negative. But if one persons desire to get sober just happens to align with court-ordered treatment and it is successful--then it's all worth it.

L

thislonelygirl

I know it's much easier to blame someone or something else but when we start looking at personal responsibility we see things a bit more clear. I am not trying to be mean at all im just saying that i use to blame or look for reasons sobriety didn't work for my ah and then like a light switch i said "hey now, his life is Darn good, He's got a wonderful job loving family, opportunity to do better, We live in an alcohol free home aside from him, people will help him when he needs it, he's healthy and alive and i will support his recovery. the negativity in his life is a creation or within control of himself. plain and simple. he is his worst enemy"

You do with what you have and create your own misery or happiness. glass half full type of thing. its all up to each of us to attain that and same applies to the addict.

thislonelygirl

wow thank you for that!! I have had conversations about this very thing.

Upsetnneedhelp

I think they do because it is cheaper. The courts seem to give people many chances. Especially regarding DUI's. You don't even go to jail for your 2nd or 3rd dui. Eventually, my son crossed the line and became a harden convict. At this point Judges can't risk sending defendants to rehab schools and prison is the consequence. I blame part of his anti-social behavior on myself and always will. I believe parents of addicts should take some of the blame. I am slowing learning though that this should not be the case.

LadyinBC

When I quit drinking my counsellor recommended daytox for me. It was a 4-6 week program that you could go to 7 days a week. It had all kinds of classes on different recovery methods, learning about addiciton, learning coping skills, etc. It really helped me change my way of thinking and lots of things started to click the longer I went.

However, if I hadn't have been open to going and learning new things, it most likely wouldn't have worked for me.

At the end of the day I was the one that had to want to be sober more than I wanted to be drunk. You have to want sobriety and be willing to fight for it, in order for any program to be successful.

AnvilheadII

one of the reasons why many are "mandated" to attend AA is that hopefully, just maybe, a seed will be planted. a seed that may take time to germinate, but at least there is the opportunity to HEAR about recovery, to HEAR other stories, and to see that recovery IS possible. kind of like an annoying Brittany Spears song...that you can't get out of your head.

LadyinBC

Thanks for that! hahaha Now I have one in my head.