How To Live On Less
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,452
How To Live On Less
When we leave an alcoholic/addicted spouse or partner, part of the loss is often financial; and for some of us, not knowing how to make it financially on our own keeps us with an alcoholic longer than we want.
Those of you who have gone from more to less, from lots to bare subsistence, how did you do it?
I think there is a very different mindset about how to deal with money - how to budget it, how to track your spending, what is worth spending on, how to plan for "emergencies" like car repairs or doctor's visits, how to get what you need for free or little money, how to enjoy activities that are free...
In my past life, I worked in a job where I had to budget my time and take as few actions as possible to get as many results as I could from my limited time budget. Now I need to learn how to do that with money. I am trying to understand that mindset as much as the details of what to do.
Any insights are welcome.
ShootingStar1
Those of you who have gone from more to less, from lots to bare subsistence, how did you do it?
I think there is a very different mindset about how to deal with money - how to budget it, how to track your spending, what is worth spending on, how to plan for "emergencies" like car repairs or doctor's visits, how to get what you need for free or little money, how to enjoy activities that are free...
In my past life, I worked in a job where I had to budget my time and take as few actions as possible to get as many results as I could from my limited time budget. Now I need to learn how to do that with money. I am trying to understand that mindset as much as the details of what to do.
Any insights are welcome.
ShootingStar1
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
You know of Dave Ramsey?
It is fairly surprising how close his stuff comes to Alanon . . . . wait a minute.
No, it is not surprising at all. Same source -- God.
Many churches sponsor his Financial Freedom / Financial Peace University workshops. Probably the same churches sponsoring Alanon.
Their current front page looks a little hustle to me, so jump to this one . . .
Real Debt Help - Get out of debt with Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover Plan - daveramsey.com
Hit the baby steps -- used to that type stuff, huh?
Real Debt Help - Get out of debt with Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover Plan - daveramsey.com
Look for a local class
Financial Peace University - daveramsey.com
or START NOW . . . .
The Dave Ramsey Show - Listen - daveramsey.com
It is fairly surprising how close his stuff comes to Alanon . . . . wait a minute.
No, it is not surprising at all. Same source -- God.
Many churches sponsor his Financial Freedom / Financial Peace University workshops. Probably the same churches sponsoring Alanon.
Their current front page looks a little hustle to me, so jump to this one . . .
Real Debt Help - Get out of debt with Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover Plan - daveramsey.com
Hit the baby steps -- used to that type stuff, huh?
Real Debt Help - Get out of debt with Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover Plan - daveramsey.com
Look for a local class
Financial Peace University - daveramsey.com
or START NOW . . . .
The Dave Ramsey Show - Listen - daveramsey.com
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
Food: We're nearly vegetarian but not quite. We use meat like a condiment. I cook a lot of curries, stews, pastas, and rice and bean dishes. I take my lunch to work every day. My grocery budget for EVERYTHING including incidentals and toilet paper and soap and everything is $100 a week for three of us, including a baby in diapers. Usually I can keep it under this mark. I taught myself how to cook very simply by reading the old Mark Bittman New York Times columns.
Eating out: Chinese buffet. It's about $8 a head for the big people to have a good hearty meal. We do this once a month or so. You have to cut loose sometimes and have fun memories.
Clothes and household: I hit a lot of thrift stores and it's turned into a family thing. I also sell old stuff when I'm done with it, either via garage sale or eBay or Craigslist. Used clothing stores buy stuff too.
Christmas and holidays: Somehow they always happen. I'm still not sure how. I make a big deal out of cooking and decorating. This year I'm throwing a friend Thanksgiving potluck at my house the weekend after.
For money management: I use Mint.com so I can see where my money goes. Before I did, I was leaking money at Walgreen's visits and eating crappy food on the go. When I saw how much went that direction I was able to curb it fast. I'm healthier and skinnier for it too.
Eating out: Chinese buffet. It's about $8 a head for the big people to have a good hearty meal. We do this once a month or so. You have to cut loose sometimes and have fun memories.
Clothes and household: I hit a lot of thrift stores and it's turned into a family thing. I also sell old stuff when I'm done with it, either via garage sale or eBay or Craigslist. Used clothing stores buy stuff too.
Christmas and holidays: Somehow they always happen. I'm still not sure how. I make a big deal out of cooking and decorating. This year I'm throwing a friend Thanksgiving potluck at my house the weekend after.
For money management: I use Mint.com so I can see where my money goes. Before I did, I was leaking money at Walgreen's visits and eating crappy food on the go. When I saw how much went that direction I was able to curb it fast. I'm healthier and skinnier for it too.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 284
Hi ShootingStar.
Well, for a while, I was living on a budget of "No". I couldn't afford anything and so I didn't allow myself to consider buying anything but the basics. I even banned myself from thrift stores for over a year because it is too tempting to buy random stuff. For food, I buy bulk staples but still splurge a bit on fresh veggies, and make my meals from scratch. This is actually my preferred mode of eating anyway because I think it is much healthier, and it gives me greater satisfaction in what I am doing for myself. It's also WAY cheaper than buying prepackaged foods. For entertainment, I went for a lot of walks, or visited friends at each other's homes.
In some ways, the No Budget is the easiest budget to deal with. There is no prioritizing of purchases because there are no purchases. It's really rather straightforward that way. When I started to have a bit more income to work with, that's when I have had to be the most careful with my spending. I had been deferring spending for so long, once I could start to say Yes to purchases, it was difficult to prioritize. That's when I had to sit down with a spreadsheet and decide how much "extra" I had to work with and what it was worth to me to either spend that or save it. Then, it comes down to self discipline and faith that, through hard work at being frugal now, I will slowly feel more comfortable financially. Still working on that...
Best,
Fathom
Well, for a while, I was living on a budget of "No". I couldn't afford anything and so I didn't allow myself to consider buying anything but the basics. I even banned myself from thrift stores for over a year because it is too tempting to buy random stuff. For food, I buy bulk staples but still splurge a bit on fresh veggies, and make my meals from scratch. This is actually my preferred mode of eating anyway because I think it is much healthier, and it gives me greater satisfaction in what I am doing for myself. It's also WAY cheaper than buying prepackaged foods. For entertainment, I went for a lot of walks, or visited friends at each other's homes.
In some ways, the No Budget is the easiest budget to deal with. There is no prioritizing of purchases because there are no purchases. It's really rather straightforward that way. When I started to have a bit more income to work with, that's when I have had to be the most careful with my spending. I had been deferring spending for so long, once I could start to say Yes to purchases, it was difficult to prioritize. That's when I had to sit down with a spreadsheet and decide how much "extra" I had to work with and what it was worth to me to either spend that or save it. Then, it comes down to self discipline and faith that, through hard work at being frugal now, I will slowly feel more comfortable financially. Still working on that...
Best,
Fathom
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
build a budget. write down all monthly living expenses - rent or mortgage, insurance, any loans (car, student, etc). list any credit cards, their balances, min due, percentage rates. estimate monthly food expenses, commuting (gas, bus fare), phone, utilities, garbage, sewer, cable, cell phone. and of course income!
then start looking at the list above and see if there is anything that can be cut back, reduced, eliminated. for example, one of the first things i cut was my Blackberry, damn thing was costing nearly $100 a month. did i REALLY need it? nope. got me a plain old stupid phone, available at my grocery store, with a really cheap plan. i finally upgraded to moderately intelligent phone on a $35 a month plan.
called the cable company and said you guys are killing me with these rates. they gave me a discount and i cut out HBO, etc. got a smaller garbage can from waste management, but kept the larger recycle and then made a studious effort TO recycle. quit going to the salon for haircuts and color. if necessary, i head to supercuts or hair masters or whatever. shop now at the discount grocery store and save a ton. (winco in our neck of the woods). for a while we bought reser's frozen bread loaves and baked our own bread. broke away from that for awhile, might be time to switch back. get less expensive laundry soap, turns out you don't nearly as much as you think! for awhile i even made my own laundry soap!
we almost NEVER eat out. maybe once a month order pizza out of desperation cuz nobody wants to cook. since it's just the two of us, if we buy a roast or a package of chicken thighs, for example, we immediately freeze half. buy extra often used canned goods and build up a small pantry. if push comes to shove, we can live on what we have for the most part for a week!
learn to clearly discern between needs and wants. prioritize.
use dave ramsey's methods for paying down/off credit cards. google frugal living....and read around. try couponing...my daughter really has this nailed, me? not so much. she can sniff out deals!!
don't see it as a hardship. see it as a challenge. and an adventure.
then start looking at the list above and see if there is anything that can be cut back, reduced, eliminated. for example, one of the first things i cut was my Blackberry, damn thing was costing nearly $100 a month. did i REALLY need it? nope. got me a plain old stupid phone, available at my grocery store, with a really cheap plan. i finally upgraded to moderately intelligent phone on a $35 a month plan.
called the cable company and said you guys are killing me with these rates. they gave me a discount and i cut out HBO, etc. got a smaller garbage can from waste management, but kept the larger recycle and then made a studious effort TO recycle. quit going to the salon for haircuts and color. if necessary, i head to supercuts or hair masters or whatever. shop now at the discount grocery store and save a ton. (winco in our neck of the woods). for a while we bought reser's frozen bread loaves and baked our own bread. broke away from that for awhile, might be time to switch back. get less expensive laundry soap, turns out you don't nearly as much as you think! for awhile i even made my own laundry soap!
we almost NEVER eat out. maybe once a month order pizza out of desperation cuz nobody wants to cook. since it's just the two of us, if we buy a roast or a package of chicken thighs, for example, we immediately freeze half. buy extra often used canned goods and build up a small pantry. if push comes to shove, we can live on what we have for the most part for a week!
learn to clearly discern between needs and wants. prioritize.
use dave ramsey's methods for paying down/off credit cards. google frugal living....and read around. try couponing...my daughter really has this nailed, me? not so much. she can sniff out deals!!
don't see it as a hardship. see it as a challenge. and an adventure.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
Shootingstar,
When I lived alone in my cottage for a year and a half I was nearly paralyzed mentally.
If you have any depression or anything holding you back from achieving, address this first to get to the bottom of things.
I couldn't do anything. I had two rooms stuffed with antiques, one up to the ceiling, yet I was frozen to DO...to achieve, to sell them.
Once a week I would list an expensive item on ebay just to get some cash flow. One lousy item! It was all I could do.
During that time I learned how to eat on $25-$35 a week. No kidding, and I ate well ! Very good food! I am very picky. Half was canned or frozen, but half was fresh and wonderful, such as a good cut of meat, always fresh vegetables, French bread, never the cheap awful stuff.
I went over the grocery store sales for the week. If the large bottle of Pellegrino was on sale for $1, I bought 15 of them. I love sparkling water and I despise tap water. This would last me several weeks. Just an example. I made sure that even though I watched my grocery store budget like a hawk, that I ate very well.
I even learned from a neighbor how to clean a fish, and there is nothing better than a fresh fish on the grill, cleaned only minutes earlier.
I stayed away from the junk food except for when on the road. I lived in Podunk so on the road was at least a weekly thing with a long drive.
My point is that you can live like a king on a very small budget. Eat well. Listen to soothing music. Buy that shampoo that actually works with your hair, but use it sparingly instead of globing it on your hair. Make your home beautiful. Surround yourself with things that make you happy and you will never feel poor.
I would take a walk along the lake a stone's throw away from my cottage or down the beautiful indian trail. My cottage is in a nature preserve. My table always had fresh flowers and I ate off beautiful antique dishes. Rich is a state of mind.
All that said though, we all need to find a way to earn money. Do the math on your jewelry, and figure out if it can be done. Etsy is for handmade when local shows are closed for the winter. If it can't be done in this very tight economy, with people spending so little, then there needs to be another source of income for you. Although I ate well, I was always nervous during that time because I knew I was not performing, and I didn't like the feeling of having to know down to the penny what was in my bank account.
Oh, my little cottage is over a hundred years old and there is very little insulation. An electric blanket came in handy. I would warm up the bed for 15 minutes before I got in, then turn it off. There's nothing like getting into warm covers with winter approaching!
My shabby chic bedroom is so cute there. Being alone yet having a beautiful bed and sheet and comforter set with warm covers made it wonderful. I'm reminiscing here! Poor cottage is now neglected and waiting for me to give it some attention. Maybe in the Spring, for now it is winterized.
You can do this.
When you get in your car to go somewhere, plan it all out so that you cover several tasks. No need to waste gasoline.
Do indulge yourself a little, with your favorite things. I did allow myself a good cut of steak, which I grilled to perfection, every now and then. I did buy that cold spaghetti salad that the grocery store pre-prepared because I loved it. But when I thought I needed a new pair of shoes, I opened a box of shoes that had long been packed, and found 20 pairs. In fact I should have been ashamed of my hoard of unused clothing. I started wearing it. Every time I thought I needed something, I thought for a bit and realized I had 20 of them somewhere, in some box, already.
When I lived alone in my cottage for a year and a half I was nearly paralyzed mentally.
If you have any depression or anything holding you back from achieving, address this first to get to the bottom of things.
I couldn't do anything. I had two rooms stuffed with antiques, one up to the ceiling, yet I was frozen to DO...to achieve, to sell them.
Once a week I would list an expensive item on ebay just to get some cash flow. One lousy item! It was all I could do.
During that time I learned how to eat on $25-$35 a week. No kidding, and I ate well ! Very good food! I am very picky. Half was canned or frozen, but half was fresh and wonderful, such as a good cut of meat, always fresh vegetables, French bread, never the cheap awful stuff.
I went over the grocery store sales for the week. If the large bottle of Pellegrino was on sale for $1, I bought 15 of them. I love sparkling water and I despise tap water. This would last me several weeks. Just an example. I made sure that even though I watched my grocery store budget like a hawk, that I ate very well.
I even learned from a neighbor how to clean a fish, and there is nothing better than a fresh fish on the grill, cleaned only minutes earlier.
I stayed away from the junk food except for when on the road. I lived in Podunk so on the road was at least a weekly thing with a long drive.
My point is that you can live like a king on a very small budget. Eat well. Listen to soothing music. Buy that shampoo that actually works with your hair, but use it sparingly instead of globing it on your hair. Make your home beautiful. Surround yourself with things that make you happy and you will never feel poor.
I would take a walk along the lake a stone's throw away from my cottage or down the beautiful indian trail. My cottage is in a nature preserve. My table always had fresh flowers and I ate off beautiful antique dishes. Rich is a state of mind.
All that said though, we all need to find a way to earn money. Do the math on your jewelry, and figure out if it can be done. Etsy is for handmade when local shows are closed for the winter. If it can't be done in this very tight economy, with people spending so little, then there needs to be another source of income for you. Although I ate well, I was always nervous during that time because I knew I was not performing, and I didn't like the feeling of having to know down to the penny what was in my bank account.
Oh, my little cottage is over a hundred years old and there is very little insulation. An electric blanket came in handy. I would warm up the bed for 15 minutes before I got in, then turn it off. There's nothing like getting into warm covers with winter approaching!
My shabby chic bedroom is so cute there. Being alone yet having a beautiful bed and sheet and comforter set with warm covers made it wonderful. I'm reminiscing here! Poor cottage is now neglected and waiting for me to give it some attention. Maybe in the Spring, for now it is winterized.
You can do this.
When you get in your car to go somewhere, plan it all out so that you cover several tasks. No need to waste gasoline.
Do indulge yourself a little, with your favorite things. I did allow myself a good cut of steak, which I grilled to perfection, every now and then. I did buy that cold spaghetti salad that the grocery store pre-prepared because I loved it. But when I thought I needed a new pair of shoes, I opened a box of shoes that had long been packed, and found 20 pairs. In fact I should have been ashamed of my hoard of unused clothing. I started wearing it. Every time I thought I needed something, I thought for a bit and realized I had 20 of them somewhere, in some box, already.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 182
Hiya Shooting Star
This is just my opinion
6 years ago I was abandoned after an 18 year abusive marriage. For almost a year I had to raise two children on a very low income. The systems I developed then I still use now.
All and every penny that came in went into one bank account and I managed that account online. I love online banking. I can see at a glance at any time of day exactly what I have (or don't)
I looked at all the things I payed out monthly (rent, cable,phone,cell phone, electricity, gas, babysitter, insurances etc.) and really did reduce what I could e.g. I changed tariffs on utilities, reduced cable channels to just what the kids watched I even arranged to pay for half an hours less daycare every day and hurried home from work.
Then I arranged to pay as many as I possibly could straight from the bank the money did/does come off automatically at the end of every month. I total them all up, subtract that amount from my minimum monthly income and then forget about it. That money is outwith my control. The rest is what I budget with. If I get unsure about whats available a glance online tells me which have been payed and when they will come off.
So whats left is my "lump sum" for the month.
I divide it by 4 and then allocate my second(weekly) list. groceries,fuel, and some other bits and pieces. I know roughly what this will cost every week and can work it out months in advance. This is separate from the "have to" list above because in really "tight" months I can make savings on things like groceries and fuel.
I use a card for as much as possible rather than cash that way I can see where and when I spent my money and think about whether that's relevant for the next month.
By this point I know what I actually have left to "spend" in the week ahead. At this time of year I will probably buy someone a Christmas gift every week and put it away but it might be for clothes or even to "pay up" a vacation.
Whatever pennies that are left over are my "pocket money".
This works for me. My bills are always payed and I always have something in the bank.
There are many, many frugal living sites online and some of them have really good ideas. Personally I will never sew my own curtains or be a coupon-er extraordinaire but I did develop some lifestyle habits that save money without really being aware, for example I use the library beside my work rather than downtown and it saves fuel or I spend time online looking for a bargain before I make a big purchase.
I have friends to this day who are sensible women in their forties but lurch from paycheck to paycheck. I will never live like that again and I commend you for thinking about it.
This is just my opinion
6 years ago I was abandoned after an 18 year abusive marriage. For almost a year I had to raise two children on a very low income. The systems I developed then I still use now.
All and every penny that came in went into one bank account and I managed that account online. I love online banking. I can see at a glance at any time of day exactly what I have (or don't)
I looked at all the things I payed out monthly (rent, cable,phone,cell phone, electricity, gas, babysitter, insurances etc.) and really did reduce what I could e.g. I changed tariffs on utilities, reduced cable channels to just what the kids watched I even arranged to pay for half an hours less daycare every day and hurried home from work.
Then I arranged to pay as many as I possibly could straight from the bank the money did/does come off automatically at the end of every month. I total them all up, subtract that amount from my minimum monthly income and then forget about it. That money is outwith my control. The rest is what I budget with. If I get unsure about whats available a glance online tells me which have been payed and when they will come off.
So whats left is my "lump sum" for the month.
I divide it by 4 and then allocate my second(weekly) list. groceries,fuel, and some other bits and pieces. I know roughly what this will cost every week and can work it out months in advance. This is separate from the "have to" list above because in really "tight" months I can make savings on things like groceries and fuel.
I use a card for as much as possible rather than cash that way I can see where and when I spent my money and think about whether that's relevant for the next month.
By this point I know what I actually have left to "spend" in the week ahead. At this time of year I will probably buy someone a Christmas gift every week and put it away but it might be for clothes or even to "pay up" a vacation.
Whatever pennies that are left over are my "pocket money".
This works for me. My bills are always payed and I always have something in the bank.
There are many, many frugal living sites online and some of them have really good ideas. Personally I will never sew my own curtains or be a coupon-er extraordinaire but I did develop some lifestyle habits that save money without really being aware, for example I use the library beside my work rather than downtown and it saves fuel or I spend time online looking for a bargain before I make a big purchase.
I have friends to this day who are sensible women in their forties but lurch from paycheck to paycheck. I will never live like that again and I commend you for thinking about it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 36
A friend of mine who went thru treatment lost his six figure job. He went to work delivering pizzas. His comment to me was "It's amazing how little you can get by on." I've seen people become very resourceful. I took a pretty big financial hit from my three addicts. For that matter, I still am taking a hit. I recall Gunny Hiway's saying from 'Heartbreak Ridge'..."Improvise, adapt, overcome". Works for me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 431
Well I was a bit lucky in that I made more money than he did and he is a very "proud" A so he didn't want to go after alimony (which he could have gotten). So I didn't have to change my lifestyle very much...just a little bit. I have learned my lesson in that if I ever marry again I will require a pre-nup - no pre-nup no marriage - I worked too hard for what I have.
That said I did realize when I left my XAH that I was spending wildly and not really thinking about where my money was going. So my lifestyle with the AH was a bit financially irresponsible - lots of nice clothes, eating out etc - all done with my own money but at the expense of saving for the big stuff (a house for example).
What I did was decided my priorities....so was it most important to me to rent in a hip area or rent a "house" (went for the hip area...so same rent but a smaller place to live around more single people and less families). Then things like...when I lived with XAH I ate out ALL the time...so I wasted a huge amount of money on getting meals delivered, take out etc - this was my biggest budget change, since I got my new place I have not once gone out to eat (AMAZING how much that saved). Then I looked into the little stuff (it adds up!) - things like OK yes I want DirectTV but I hardly EVER watch HBO, Showtime or Stars...so I saved $40 a month with just expanded cable but no premiums - I still have movies on demand etc and I don't miss that stuff at all. Sure $40 a month sounds small but that's $180 per year. I looked into why I had netflix when I would rather use Amazon on demand - cancelled it. I looked at why I had a land line in addition to my cell phone - cancelled it. For my cell phone I had WAY more minutes than I needed. I refinanced by student loans and my car loan. I did a lot of little things and saved 500 or so a month. Then I took those savings and was able to allocate to things I was never able to do before like writing classes or whatever.
I guess for me living with an A made me an irresponsible spender - I would feel bad living there so I would "fill myself up" with expensive clothes, shoes etc...so there went my money (our money was separate). Now that I'm not with him I don't feel that need to buy as much to make myself feel better as well.
I realize I'm lucky in that I have a very lucrative career...BUT I did that purposely. I vowed when I got married to not change my career or start depending on him...I just saw too many of my friends go down that road, get married, have kids, lose themselves and their skills and become dependent on a man. Every single one of them ended up unhappy and feeling a loss of self - feeling tied to the man (even if they had a happy marriage)...and in the non-happy marriages many became stuck. Sometimes I think life as a male is just so much easier - even in the year 2013. I do know that no matter what I will never give up my career or depend on a man - I want an equal relationship in all ways....that's just me but really doing that is what made leaving for me a bit easier.
That said I did realize when I left my XAH that I was spending wildly and not really thinking about where my money was going. So my lifestyle with the AH was a bit financially irresponsible - lots of nice clothes, eating out etc - all done with my own money but at the expense of saving for the big stuff (a house for example).
What I did was decided my priorities....so was it most important to me to rent in a hip area or rent a "house" (went for the hip area...so same rent but a smaller place to live around more single people and less families). Then things like...when I lived with XAH I ate out ALL the time...so I wasted a huge amount of money on getting meals delivered, take out etc - this was my biggest budget change, since I got my new place I have not once gone out to eat (AMAZING how much that saved). Then I looked into the little stuff (it adds up!) - things like OK yes I want DirectTV but I hardly EVER watch HBO, Showtime or Stars...so I saved $40 a month with just expanded cable but no premiums - I still have movies on demand etc and I don't miss that stuff at all. Sure $40 a month sounds small but that's $180 per year. I looked into why I had netflix when I would rather use Amazon on demand - cancelled it. I looked at why I had a land line in addition to my cell phone - cancelled it. For my cell phone I had WAY more minutes than I needed. I refinanced by student loans and my car loan. I did a lot of little things and saved 500 or so a month. Then I took those savings and was able to allocate to things I was never able to do before like writing classes or whatever.
I guess for me living with an A made me an irresponsible spender - I would feel bad living there so I would "fill myself up" with expensive clothes, shoes etc...so there went my money (our money was separate). Now that I'm not with him I don't feel that need to buy as much to make myself feel better as well.
I realize I'm lucky in that I have a very lucrative career...BUT I did that purposely. I vowed when I got married to not change my career or start depending on him...I just saw too many of my friends go down that road, get married, have kids, lose themselves and their skills and become dependent on a man. Every single one of them ended up unhappy and feeling a loss of self - feeling tied to the man (even if they had a happy marriage)...and in the non-happy marriages many became stuck. Sometimes I think life as a male is just so much easier - even in the year 2013. I do know that no matter what I will never give up my career or depend on a man - I want an equal relationship in all ways....that's just me but really doing that is what made leaving for me a bit easier.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I'm a mad couponer - I stack coupons & use them with BOGO deals at the grocery store whenever possible. I get them from the Sunday newspaper & printing online from coupons.com. Like blueskies, if I find something I use often on an amazing sale price, I load up with whatever I can manage to afford at the time, even if it equates to months worth of inventory. Last Black Friday I had stackable coupons at bj's (both bj & manufacturer coupons for the same items) and added to their BF sale price I ended up stocking up enough toilet paper for about 9 months.
I buy a LOT in bulk even though we are a small family. Detergents, dish soap, paper towels, etc. Just eliminating multiple trips to the grocery store is a savings with the price of gas these days.
Speaking of gas - I also stack my erands for the same days so that I don't run around wasting gas every day unless I have no choice. (This is a big one for me - I commute a pretty good distance)
We eliminated cable & switched to netflix - it's way more affordable, we're more likely to read or do other activities since everything is basically "on demand" all the time and it maximizes the money I spend on our unlimited DSL/internet connection. We can use it on 2 devices simultaneously so DD watches on TV & I watch on the computer when we want to see different shows.
I re-evaluated all of our insurance policies to make sure they were reasonable for coverage (not over insured), OOP deductibles, etc. I dropped or changed everything that was unneccesary.
We invested in small space heaters for winter so that we can keep the central heating unit on a low temp. The space heaters move from bathroom to bedroom easily & are often more than enough for us in our FL winter. (Yes, we get cold in FL when the early morning temps are in the 30's.... even if it's only for a couple of weeks
)
The Dollar Tree is my new favorite store - I rove through weekly looking for one-time drops of inventory that they get. I've saved tons buying name brand toothpastes, deodorants, cereal bars, etc. doing this. Last summer they had 20+ oz boxes of Trix cereal (the kids love it) and I bought 12 of them. At that price I saved $4-5 per box over the grocery store even using coupons. I just can't plan for that kind of stuff, I have to go with the flow of inventory.
I buy a LOT in bulk even though we are a small family. Detergents, dish soap, paper towels, etc. Just eliminating multiple trips to the grocery store is a savings with the price of gas these days.
Speaking of gas - I also stack my erands for the same days so that I don't run around wasting gas every day unless I have no choice. (This is a big one for me - I commute a pretty good distance)
We eliminated cable & switched to netflix - it's way more affordable, we're more likely to read or do other activities since everything is basically "on demand" all the time and it maximizes the money I spend on our unlimited DSL/internet connection. We can use it on 2 devices simultaneously so DD watches on TV & I watch on the computer when we want to see different shows.
I re-evaluated all of our insurance policies to make sure they were reasonable for coverage (not over insured), OOP deductibles, etc. I dropped or changed everything that was unneccesary.
We invested in small space heaters for winter so that we can keep the central heating unit on a low temp. The space heaters move from bathroom to bedroom easily & are often more than enough for us in our FL winter. (Yes, we get cold in FL when the early morning temps are in the 30's.... even if it's only for a couple of weeks
)The Dollar Tree is my new favorite store - I rove through weekly looking for one-time drops of inventory that they get. I've saved tons buying name brand toothpastes, deodorants, cereal bars, etc. doing this. Last summer they had 20+ oz boxes of Trix cereal (the kids love it) and I bought 12 of them. At that price I saved $4-5 per box over the grocery store even using coupons. I just can't plan for that kind of stuff, I have to go with the flow of inventory.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I have been making my own laundry detergent for quite some time. I cleans my clothes very well and it is cheap! I get 4 big bottles for about $4 worth of supplies...very affordable and easy to do. You can use vinegar as fabric softner but I still use the downy, it smells so good. You would think the vinegar would stink but you do not smell it at all and it does work.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Southern US
Posts: 785
This is a timely post for me. I'm great at making budgets, bad at sticking to them 
We've done a lot of the same things as others listed above (buying in bulk on sale, getting rid of premium cable channels, etc.) We also use our library to check out movies rather than pay for rentals. I read a lot. Instead of buying books, I check them out at the library. Same with epub versions for my nook. Our library also offers a lot of free services including clubs/classes for all ages. Instead of going to the movies, we borrow a movie from the library (or occasionally redbox), make our own pizza, and pop popcorn. If there's a movie we really want to see in the theater, we go before noon on Saturdays when it's $4.50/seat. We don't have smart phones.
We dropped our landline, too. Unfortunately, that hasn't worked out as well for us. The kids are always misplacing their phones or chargers, or forgetting to charge the phone. Oldest DS lost his charger a couple of weeks ago and has had a dead phone since. DD is forever misplacing hers
We've done a lot of the same things as others listed above (buying in bulk on sale, getting rid of premium cable channels, etc.) We also use our library to check out movies rather than pay for rentals. I read a lot. Instead of buying books, I check them out at the library. Same with epub versions for my nook. Our library also offers a lot of free services including clubs/classes for all ages. Instead of going to the movies, we borrow a movie from the library (or occasionally redbox), make our own pizza, and pop popcorn. If there's a movie we really want to see in the theater, we go before noon on Saturdays when it's $4.50/seat. We don't have smart phones.We dropped our landline, too. Unfortunately, that hasn't worked out as well for us. The kids are always misplacing their phones or chargers, or forgetting to charge the phone. Oldest DS lost his charger a couple of weeks ago and has had a dead phone since. DD is forever misplacing hers
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
I was blessed enough to have a lot of people asking me "how can I help?" after I left AXH.
One of them was a financial advisor. I said "make me a budget: Here's my income; figure out for me what my 'normal' expenses will be, and then tell me how much I can afford to spend on housing."
Once I had the budget, I found I had to cut things from the budget outline to afford an apartment. So I did.
I started by cutting cable and TV. That was definitely a luxury I could live without.
Because I did consulting work from home, I needed internet access -- but I found the cheapest provider (with the cruddiest service, but it worked) and managed to cut that cost by 50%.
I made a weekly menu, shopped for it once a week, and followed it to a T. I shopped three places, learning that one store had cheaper staples, one had cheaper produce, and the third had cheaper meat. I managed to cut our food spending by 50%. I even did things like buy dry beans instead of canned beans, and I cooked everything from scratch. And we never, ever, ever ate out.
I reduced my car insurance to the bare minimum required by law (which was OK because my car was almost Fred Flintstone age).
I started walking and riding my bike to save gas, and planned trips in the car so that I did all the errands downtown if I was going downtown, rather than go twice.
We went to the library instead of buying books (and went to the library for high-speed internet use).
I think it was an easier transition for us than for most because we spend so much time outdoors so our "hobbies" were never really costly (my hiking boots are 20 years old and still hold up!). The hardest part was to explain to the kids that they couldn't buy new jeans AND new sneakers the same month.
One of them was a financial advisor. I said "make me a budget: Here's my income; figure out for me what my 'normal' expenses will be, and then tell me how much I can afford to spend on housing."
Once I had the budget, I found I had to cut things from the budget outline to afford an apartment. So I did.
I started by cutting cable and TV. That was definitely a luxury I could live without.
Because I did consulting work from home, I needed internet access -- but I found the cheapest provider (with the cruddiest service, but it worked) and managed to cut that cost by 50%.
I made a weekly menu, shopped for it once a week, and followed it to a T. I shopped three places, learning that one store had cheaper staples, one had cheaper produce, and the third had cheaper meat. I managed to cut our food spending by 50%. I even did things like buy dry beans instead of canned beans, and I cooked everything from scratch. And we never, ever, ever ate out.
I reduced my car insurance to the bare minimum required by law (which was OK because my car was almost Fred Flintstone age).
I started walking and riding my bike to save gas, and planned trips in the car so that I did all the errands downtown if I was going downtown, rather than go twice.
We went to the library instead of buying books (and went to the library for high-speed internet use).
I think it was an easier transition for us than for most because we spend so much time outdoors so our "hobbies" were never really costly (my hiking boots are 20 years old and still hold up!). The hardest part was to explain to the kids that they couldn't buy new jeans AND new sneakers the same month.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
OK, my frugal friends---I"ve heard a couple of you say that you have made your own laundry soap--can you explain how to do that??
I saw on a TV show that a very frequently shop-lifted item is Tide Laundry Soap (esp. by addicts). Apparently it can be easily and quickly resold on the street. Who knew?
I saw on a TV show that a very frequently shop-lifted item is Tide Laundry Soap (esp. by addicts). Apparently it can be easily and quickly resold on the street. Who knew?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Here is my helpful hint for those who have children at home. For years, I helped the children make home made candles for gift giving at Christmas. You can get the basic supplies from craft stores--and online craft stores. The kids love doing it--and decorating them. One year we actually made "sandcandles"--like from the 60's.
One year we made tree decorations from flour and salt (dried in the oven and then decorated--paper clip for hanging).
The kids have such good memories from this time when we had little money. We would turn on the radio for Christmas music and make hot chocolate and popcorn (from scratch). From so little--we got so much!
dandylion
One year we made tree decorations from flour and salt (dried in the oven and then decorated--paper clip for hanging).
The kids have such good memories from this time when we had little money. We would turn on the radio for Christmas music and make hot chocolate and popcorn (from scratch). From so little--we got so much!
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 57
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII 
for example, one of the first things i cut was my Blackberry, damn thing was costing nearly $100 a month. did i REALLY need it? nope. got me a plain old stupid phone, available at my grocery store, with a really cheap plan. i finally upgraded to moderately intelligent phone on a $35 a month plan.
If Virgin isn't available in your area, MetroPCS, Boost Mobile, and (I believe) Walmart all offer comparable plans.
Edited to add: I started commuting by bicycle when weather allows it. Saves about $15 a week in bus/subway fares. Also started organizing potluck dinners with friends instead of meeting them at a pub or restaurant. Brown bagging lunch saves a ton - I usually double or triple dinner recipes so I have extra servings for lunches. And I use my crockpot like it's going out of style! Lots of soups, curries, and the like - the types of meals where just a little meat goes a long way in terms of flavor, but the bulk of the food comes from veggies and starches.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 537
I haven't left yet...so take anything I say with a grain of salt!
I do agree that finances is one thing that is keeping me here. Stupidly we've got into a financial position that I can't support on my own.
What I am doing though is tracking every cent I spend to a) see what I am really living on now, and b) examining this to see what I can cut. So far I am a bit shocked at how much my partner spends. He is clever in that he only spends cash I.e. doesn't pay for boozy nights out on credit card or anything traceable.
So I am actually living on less than I thought. What to do about he big ticket items like mortgages I don't know though.
I do agree that finances is one thing that is keeping me here. Stupidly we've got into a financial position that I can't support on my own.
What I am doing though is tracking every cent I spend to a) see what I am really living on now, and b) examining this to see what I can cut. So far I am a bit shocked at how much my partner spends. He is clever in that he only spends cash I.e. doesn't pay for boozy nights out on credit card or anything traceable.
So I am actually living on less than I thought. What to do about he big ticket items like mortgages I don't know though.
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