To nice
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Cincinnati, ohio
Posts: 82
To nice
What is up with him? He is being soooo nice now it is making my head spin <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />
He had his head hung down and talking real low.
I am home now and he has called and left a message just to tell me he loves me and misses me.
I must took like the girl on Poltergeist (spelling?) my head is spinnig so fast
Chandra
He had his head hung down and talking real low.
I am home now and he has called and left a message just to tell me he loves me and misses me.
I must took like the girl on Poltergeist (spelling?) my head is spinnig so fast
Chandra
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Chandra
I have held back from replying (unusual for me) because I didn't want to burst your bubble if you are feeling better. But like my she-devil sponsor does with me, I have to tell it like I see it, okay?
I sincerely hope he has "seen the light" and is about to change his ways and stop using and become a nice person again and that you all live happily ever after. I really wish that for you.
The reality is that until he stops using, this will just be one big roller coaster ride for you. Read some of the other posts and you will see what I am talking about. Addicts, even using, can be the sweetest, kindest people...I know my son can be. But when they are like that, they usually want something. Addicts want their drug and their people too, and know how to manipulate us through fear, guilt, or charm, and they know exactly what buttons to push to get their way.
I only tell you this so you can see it coming, if that is what it's all about. Also, so you don't feel like the only person who has been manipulated like this.
I am being totally honest with you because I care about you and I could be totally wrong, but I am sorry to say that I don't think so. My guess is that there are others here, like me, who are tiptoeing around this post for fear of hurting you.
I wish you only the best of everything and will say a little prayer for you.
Hugs
Ann
P.S. Don't give him your car money, please? Sorry, I had to add that...you wouldn't be the first. Good luck.
I have held back from replying (unusual for me) because I didn't want to burst your bubble if you are feeling better. But like my she-devil sponsor does with me, I have to tell it like I see it, okay?
I sincerely hope he has "seen the light" and is about to change his ways and stop using and become a nice person again and that you all live happily ever after. I really wish that for you.
The reality is that until he stops using, this will just be one big roller coaster ride for you. Read some of the other posts and you will see what I am talking about. Addicts, even using, can be the sweetest, kindest people...I know my son can be. But when they are like that, they usually want something. Addicts want their drug and their people too, and know how to manipulate us through fear, guilt, or charm, and they know exactly what buttons to push to get their way.
I only tell you this so you can see it coming, if that is what it's all about. Also, so you don't feel like the only person who has been manipulated like this.
I am being totally honest with you because I care about you and I could be totally wrong, but I am sorry to say that I don't think so. My guess is that there are others here, like me, who are tiptoeing around this post for fear of hurting you.
I wish you only the best of everything and will say a little prayer for you.
Hugs
Ann
P.S. Don't give him your car money, please? Sorry, I had to add that...you wouldn't be the first. Good luck.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Cincinnati, ohio
Posts: 82
Anns, and everyone else,
Please don't tip toe around ANY of my posts!!! That is why I come here, to hear your experience, strength and hope. I may sound hopeful (aren't we all at times?) and I revert back to old thinking regularly but never want anyone to tip toe because they are afraid of hurting my feelings. I can't be hurt much more and I trust you guys more than anyone right now.That's why I am here. I think of myself as a strong person and have made up my mind (God help me to keep it that way) on what I have to do. Just three years ago I was the strongest person you have met. I am at about 80 % now and getting back there!!!(maybe optomistic, but trying to keep a positive attitude) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />
My car money? NEVER!!!!!! The one thing I will not do is give him money to drink!!! If you believe anything, believe that. I am going today to look at the car again, and may get it. I will let you know.
I don't believe he is drinking again (hopeful thinking) but I am keeping my eyes and ears open.
Thank you Anns (((hugs)))
Hugs to all
Chandra
<small>[ May 25, 2002, 04:10 AM: Message edited by: onway2sanity ]</small>
Please don't tip toe around ANY of my posts!!! That is why I come here, to hear your experience, strength and hope. I may sound hopeful (aren't we all at times?) and I revert back to old thinking regularly but never want anyone to tip toe because they are afraid of hurting my feelings. I can't be hurt much more and I trust you guys more than anyone right now.That's why I am here. I think of myself as a strong person and have made up my mind (God help me to keep it that way) on what I have to do. Just three years ago I was the strongest person you have met. I am at about 80 % now and getting back there!!!(maybe optomistic, but trying to keep a positive attitude) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />
My car money? NEVER!!!!!! The one thing I will not do is give him money to drink!!! If you believe anything, believe that. I am going today to look at the car again, and may get it. I will let you know.
I don't believe he is drinking again (hopeful thinking) but I am keeping my eyes and ears open.
Thank you Anns (((hugs)))
Hugs to all
Chandra
<small>[ May 25, 2002, 04:10 AM: Message edited by: onway2sanity ]</small>
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Chandra
I have a friend in AA who's favorite expression to someone who tells him of all the great things they are going to do in recovery, is "Don't Tell Me...Show Me"
I love that one. Have said it to my son a few times.
I apologize for the tippy-toeing. It's hard to do in bunny slippers anyway and not usually my style.
Like you, when I ask for advice on this board I want honest truthful answers, even if they are not the ones I had hoped to hear. We all know that this board is full of love and support, and honesty has been a rare commodity in our lives, so is very very welcome.
Hugs
I have a friend in AA who's favorite expression to someone who tells him of all the great things they are going to do in recovery, is "Don't Tell Me...Show Me"
I love that one. Have said it to my son a few times.
I apologize for the tippy-toeing. It's hard to do in bunny slippers anyway and not usually my style.
Like you, when I ask for advice on this board I want honest truthful answers, even if they are not the ones I had hoped to hear. We all know that this board is full of love and support, and honesty has been a rare commodity in our lives, so is very very welcome.
Hugs
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