Resolved or depressed?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
When you add the Spirits... the deep dark Spirits take over. It's like being possessed. At least how my alcoholic husband acted. Sober, he's wonderful and all that good stuff. Drunk, he's a belligerent, self centered, asswipe on a mission to destroy anyone and everyone who comes between him and his vodka.
You have been blessed with a new beginning. It may be hard to see through all the pain of him leaving/moving out but you are going to be so much better without his alcoholism weighing you down.
It's time to take care of you and get back to living.
You have been blessed with a new beginning. It may be hard to see through all the pain of him leaving/moving out but you are going to be so much better without his alcoholism weighing you down.
It's time to take care of you and get back to living.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 40
Thanks. I still am getting anxious about it. By first night alone in a while. Also wondering where he's at. He didn't have a tv when he left so has to find somewhere to watch the football games. A bar?? The worrying just continues
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 40
I'm not great. I've been crying the past two weeks waiting for this day to come when he would leave and take all my hopes and dreams with him. I'm trying to focus on my life but it's hard. I feel alone and I'm getting anxious a lot when I'm going around the house and see his things are gone. I don't even want to sleep in my room it's so empty
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 232
Hey Brincess, I applaud you cutting this now. If you think it's hard now, just think if you were married and had kids with this guy, and tried to get out of it.
A nightmare.
It'll be hard at first adjusting to the change, but don't go through all the mental gymnastics that won't get you anywhere.
As we've ALL found out here: WE'RE the ones having a problem with their drinking, not THEM! WE'RE the ones tying our minds, hearts and stomach into knots over their drinking, not THEM! THEY just want to get a drink! In their minds, when they find their next drink, their problem is solved. OURS never is!
God bless you, and you're in my prayers.
A nightmare.
It'll be hard at first adjusting to the change, but don't go through all the mental gymnastics that won't get you anywhere.
As we've ALL found out here: WE'RE the ones having a problem with their drinking, not THEM! WE'RE the ones tying our minds, hearts and stomach into knots over their drinking, not THEM! THEY just want to get a drink! In their minds, when they find their next drink, their problem is solved. OURS never is!
God bless you, and you're in my prayers.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 156
Every time he says something and he doesnt do it, I rarely feel like I am not good enough anymore and " it is me. " I feel: Ugh. It is the alcoholism and this is the best it will get. I should leave... I should leave.. this is why I should leave.
If anything, something happening could be a crisis and what he needs to change his life. I take the approach: It is God's will. And His timing. That is just me.
And then I thought when we broke up last summer: if he met someone, it was a friend... to get drunk with... and that is the only love he has right now. If there was room for something else it would be me.
If anything, something happening could be a crisis and what he needs to change his life. I take the approach: It is God's will. And His timing. That is just me.
And then I thought when we broke up last summer: if he met someone, it was a friend... to get drunk with... and that is the only love he has right now. If there was room for something else it would be me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 40
Thanks bird 13. I was just in tears again but checked my email and saw your response. It's so hard like I said there is so much good in him it's confusing sometimes believing that he's most likely an alcoholic. I do believe in Gods time and in His way. All i can do now is pray
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
brin...my last husband was a really nice guy. honest, loyal, multiple years of recovery, hard worker, funny, lots and lots of good qualities. but by the end of our 14 years together I just wanted OUT. for all the good in him, WE just were not a good fit. it didn't work for me. just didn't. on paper it looked like we had it all....but in real life our paths just took us in different directions.
and that is OK. people change. things change. sometimes we don't like it. we can't always have things our way just cuz we want them. we have to respect the Other. and their unique journey. and never hold someone so tight they are constricted and we keep them from that journey.
he didn't TAKE your hopes and dreams. they are still yours. it's just that he won't be in them. you still have your whole life to live. it's a big planet, the possibilities are endless.
and that is OK. people change. things change. sometimes we don't like it. we can't always have things our way just cuz we want them. we have to respect the Other. and their unique journey. and never hold someone so tight they are constricted and we keep them from that journey.
he didn't TAKE your hopes and dreams. they are still yours. it's just that he won't be in them. you still have your whole life to live. it's a big planet, the possibilities are endless.
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