CarryOn

Certified Alcohol & Drug Counselor...means they specialize in addiction and substance abuse. If you have insurance, the provider look ups may list the therapists' specialties...you can also try Health Grades, or the websites of the providers you are considering.

getthere

I am in Ireland,so don't know what title would be here.Totally clueless when it comes to Alcohol ,I just thought twelve steps ,sponsors etc were for the Alcoholic,a lot to learn.

honeypig

There is a lot to learn indeed, getthere, and I hope you can spend a little time every day learning what you're up against. Reading here as much as you can is a good start. Especially make sure to read the stickied material at the top of the page for a lot of good information.

While we'd like to think that the 12 steps, sponsors, etc., are all for the A, and that we are the "good one" in the relationship, that's not the case. The A is the one doing the drinking, yes, but we, the partners/spouses/siblings/parents of the A, have our own issues that we need to deal with every bit as much as the A needs to deal with his/hers. It's a hard thing to realize, but we are every bit as sick in our own way as the A is in their way.

Here's a link for Alanon http://www.al-anon.org/ to help you find a meeting. You can search this forum to see what people's experiences have been with Alanon.

You can find Alanon reading material pretty easily by going to Amazon and searching "Books" w/the term "Alanon." Many good options there, and many available used to save $, too. Even less costly is to jot down some of the names of the books and check your local library--mine had several titles.

Hope some of that helps you get started. The more you know, the less easily manipulated you'll be.

getthere

Thank you,i ask myself do I want to learn,i don't know the answer,but I am going to go to a meeting tomorrow,i would prefer the meeting local to me,but its dark when that's on,25 minute walk away,and I don't drive.but will head to city one.

Yancy

Well, a kindred spirit. My family of RAs has told me that theirs is a program of selfishness. It is all about them. I'm glad they're sober, but I've been asking myself "what about me?" "Where's my support and understanding?" I'm supposed to be so grateful and supportive of their recovery, and I am. I've only been on this site a couple of days, and I have found my support. I'm looking for more (Al Anon). It's my turn to be selfish. It's all about ME. About time.

CarryOn

I'm sorry getthere...I totally overlooked that! So, seek out someone that specializes in substance abuse & addiction. They will be able to help you understand the disease, and they will then be better able to help you deal with it. Counselors & therapists have many, many options for specialization, so someone that doesn't deal with addiction may not be nearly as helpful as someone that does. You should be able to inquire about their specialties or what their experience is with addiction if you call their office...I think a good counselor/therapist will want their experience to match with the treatment you need.