It didn't go terribly....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 524
It didn't go terribly....
Well, first of all thank you..THANK YOU. Once again you all truly saved me.
It was a little rocky at first - I think he was really nervous and expected balloons or something but I was stoic and flat. So he rambled nervously and seemed to have a conversation completely with himself making all kinds of assumptions. That smoothed out... Then he talked, I listened, I talked, he listened. He cried, I cried. We didn't hug - He tried - I pulled away but in my head I said get the hell away from me. He shared the good the bad and the ugly of rehab. He told me a lot of funny stories and told me about the bonds he made and the friends he made. I am happy for that...today.. I was considerate and I listened. A few times in my head I was thinking shut up about your stupid friends and funny stories. He asked if I would go with him to his first appointment for outpatient, I said ok. I went. It was about a 2 hour intake of all kinds of questions. He was happy I went. He thanked me. I said you're welcome. AND - the lady there knew of an ACTIVE ALANON MEETING It is Saturdays at 11:00 am. I am really excited to go.
It was a little rocky at first - I think he was really nervous and expected balloons or something but I was stoic and flat. So he rambled nervously and seemed to have a conversation completely with himself making all kinds of assumptions. That smoothed out... Then he talked, I listened, I talked, he listened. He cried, I cried. We didn't hug - He tried - I pulled away but in my head I said get the hell away from me. He shared the good the bad and the ugly of rehab. He told me a lot of funny stories and told me about the bonds he made and the friends he made. I am happy for that...today.. I was considerate and I listened. A few times in my head I was thinking shut up about your stupid friends and funny stories. He asked if I would go with him to his first appointment for outpatient, I said ok. I went. It was about a 2 hour intake of all kinds of questions. He was happy I went. He thanked me. I said you're welcome. AND - the lady there knew of an ACTIVE ALANON MEETING It is Saturdays at 11:00 am. I am really excited to go.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
GREAT first steps!!! Those first days when the A comes home from treatment are so difficult. I don't think either partner really knows what to do. I'm so glad you kept the unhelpful negative thoughts to yourself, and were able to listen/talk/cry. Baby steps.......
You didn't get into this mess overnight, so it's not going to get better overnight. I'm so glad you are taking this approach with him and the situation. It's ok to come here and vent when you start feeling "squirrelly," as an AA friend of mine and I say. If it helps you to focus on your recovery and supporting your RAH, then do it! I can't wait to hear about your Al-Anon meeting. It saved me, truly. And I know it can do the same for you.
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