The power of Choice.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
The power of Choice.
Guess who kept her big mouth shut this weekend?
And I am so grateful for this site. What I have learned here at Sober Recovery has surpassed any expectation I had when I first arrived here.
Just a quick recap of the weekend events.
Family get together at my nieces home, (about 65 of us). 7 year old girl, accidently steps on aging, sick, grumpy old dog's paw, dog bites girl twice on the thigh, all hell breaks out in house.
My sister in law, (the grandma of the child and a pediatric RN,) tends to the injury, while World War 3 is erupting in the kitchen between the cousins.
Lots of WTF in your face heated arguing. lots of what are you thinking???? lots of BE a responsible pet owner and end the dog's suffering, and offers to assist in ending the dog's suffering.
Then comes denial, my nieces husband ( the dog owner) wanted to argue that since the actual bite did not puncture the skin, it can't be considered a bite, just a mere nip, and it was actually the little girl's fault.
Grandma, (the RN) states the dog did puncture the skin, and wants proof that the dog's shots are current and up to date. Now, my niece's husband will NEVER forgive mother in law for causing such drama and trying to manipulate situation.
Where am I in all of this? Outside on the back porch, smoking a cigarette, shaking my head, and minding my OWN effin business. i can hear what is going on inside, but I am choosing not to engage. The option of choice is really a powerful tool.
This too shall pass, my opinion was not needed, I did not say anything hurtful or unkind, i did not say anything i would regret later, i did not add fuel to the fire.
Yes, the old Annie would have blurted out a few choice words, instead I chose to hug those that were hurting, and simply acknowledge that this was an unfortunate incident for all involved, especially my darling little niece . ( If you have ever been bit by a dog, you know how painful it can be)
Hope you don't mind me sharing this here, while the incident may not be alcohol/drug related, my new everyday life tools were a gift from all of you here.
Thanks to all who take the time and share their story, You really do make a difference.
And I am so grateful for this site. What I have learned here at Sober Recovery has surpassed any expectation I had when I first arrived here.
Just a quick recap of the weekend events.
Family get together at my nieces home, (about 65 of us). 7 year old girl, accidently steps on aging, sick, grumpy old dog's paw, dog bites girl twice on the thigh, all hell breaks out in house.
My sister in law, (the grandma of the child and a pediatric RN,) tends to the injury, while World War 3 is erupting in the kitchen between the cousins.
Lots of WTF in your face heated arguing. lots of what are you thinking???? lots of BE a responsible pet owner and end the dog's suffering, and offers to assist in ending the dog's suffering.
Then comes denial, my nieces husband ( the dog owner) wanted to argue that since the actual bite did not puncture the skin, it can't be considered a bite, just a mere nip, and it was actually the little girl's fault.
Grandma, (the RN) states the dog did puncture the skin, and wants proof that the dog's shots are current and up to date. Now, my niece's husband will NEVER forgive mother in law for causing such drama and trying to manipulate situation.
Where am I in all of this? Outside on the back porch, smoking a cigarette, shaking my head, and minding my OWN effin business. i can hear what is going on inside, but I am choosing not to engage. The option of choice is really a powerful tool.
This too shall pass, my opinion was not needed, I did not say anything hurtful or unkind, i did not say anything i would regret later, i did not add fuel to the fire.
Yes, the old Annie would have blurted out a few choice words, instead I chose to hug those that were hurting, and simply acknowledge that this was an unfortunate incident for all involved, especially my darling little niece . ( If you have ever been bit by a dog, you know how painful it can be)
Hope you don't mind me sharing this here, while the incident may not be alcohol/drug related, my new everyday life tools were a gift from all of you here.
Thanks to all who take the time and share their story, You really do make a difference.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Way! To! Go!
I love hearing these kinds of shares. The concept sounds so simple (and it becomes so much easier with practice), but the first few times you put it into effect it is very difficult. And I especially love it when we all apply our recovery tools to our "every day" lives. I work for my local government, which is currently embroiled in a HUGE political snotfight. I am so glad i have my recovery tools to help me remember that it's not personal, most of these people are irrational, and I cannot control them.
High fives!
I love hearing these kinds of shares. The concept sounds so simple (and it becomes so much easier with practice), but the first few times you put it into effect it is very difficult. And I especially love it when we all apply our recovery tools to our "every day" lives. I work for my local government, which is currently embroiled in a HUGE political snotfight. I am so glad i have my recovery tools to help me remember that it's not personal, most of these people are irrational, and I cannot control them.
High fives!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Yes, seconding what Wisconsin said. I LOVE when folks tell how what they've learned at SR/Alanon carries over into their everyday life.
Twelfth Step: "Having had a spiritual awakening....to practice these principles in all our affairs."
Great job, Marie, and thanks for sharing that story.
Twelfth Step: "Having had a spiritual awakening....to practice these principles in all our affairs."
Great job, Marie, and thanks for sharing that story.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Hard to have a war if one side does not show up. Good job
I get out the popcorn, my lawn chair, and large soda to watch the family drama. This type of entertainment is priceless and does not cost a dime
I get out the popcorn, my lawn chair, and large soda to watch the family drama. This type of entertainment is priceless and does not cost a dime
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
awesome job not participating!
sometimes the best way to win a argument is simply do not join the fight ~
lots of hugs for the precious little girl and the poor dog ~ who were both simply doing what little girls & old dogs do ~
Pink hugs
sometimes the best way to win a argument is simply do not join the fight ~
lots of hugs for the precious little girl and the poor dog ~ who were both simply doing what little girls & old dogs do ~
Pink hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
I have realized the same thing. While I went to Alanon initially because I needed help dealing with my A, the lessons learned there have affected every part of my life. I have become MUCH better at staying out of other people's "stuff". I don't step in and offer unsolicited opinions or help. As a result, work is better/home is better/life is better. And once I do it, it's kind of entertaining to watch others make themselves crazy!
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