Well, he's gone...

Old 11-03-2013, 07:25 PM
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Well, he's gone...

At the beginning of October, me and AH got the divorce, and this weekend he moved out. I almost can't believe it! The past month has gone mostly ok, with a few disgruntled episodes from him, and this weekend went mostly ok. He says he hates being alone, and I almost feel badly for him, but then I reminded him how it really isn't that much different than sitting out in the garage drinking by himself.
Now he's not going to be coming inside at midnight to clatter around the house making all kinds of noise to wake the kids up, or starting arguments with me. There is a tiny twinge of sadness looking at where his stuff once was, because I remember how excited I was when he moved in 7 years ago, but it's more of a sadness over what alcohol has taken from us, than really missing him, because I feel a sense of relief he's in his own place now. Yes I'm still worried about what the future brings with his alcohol use, but now I don't have to be fully enmeshed in it day in and day out.
So what happened today? The water heater went out. -_- Yes, now it's my responsibility, and financially it's going to be rough for awhile, but you know what? It already was rough, but now beer isn't in the budget, and it's already so much more peaceful.
Just felt like posting, cuz I don't share this stuff on my FB page, and I knew you guys would understand. I'm nervous about what the future holds with this major change, and not quite sure how I'm processing it all at the moment, but I know this is how it needs to be.
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Old 11-03-2013, 07:29 PM
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I wish you the best of luck. Sending good vibes your way.
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Old 11-03-2013, 07:38 PM
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My prayers are with you, your kids, and your ex. I don't know what else to say.

Your post is a sad reminder what alcohol does to families.

I'm sorry it happened to you. And just about everybody here...
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Old 11-03-2013, 08:00 PM
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BUT IT JUST KEEPS ON GETTING BETTER!!

4 years out, I laugh all the time. My 12 year-old son said the other day "Mom, you are skipping and running a lot more."

Me? Who woulda thought?
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Old 11-04-2013, 01:05 PM
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prayers for you & your family ~

when you are ready - you can take those places where his stuff was and replace it with beautiful things you and the kids have done with the your new life ~ even if it is just happy drawings, pretty flowers from the yard, rearranged furniture. . . making it your home again seems to be very healing.

pink hugs
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Old 11-04-2013, 01:10 PM
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It already was rough, but now beer isn't in the budget, and it's already so much more peaceful.
When I left AXH, one thing that surprised me was that even though I was now alone with all the responsibilities, they felt lighter and easier. It was like it was easier to do it when I knew there was nobody else there to do it for me than it was when I was married, and there was another adult in the house who (theoretically) could have helped me but didn't. It was like his mere presence and the fact that he didn't do anything made doing it harder...

You sound calm, collected, a bit sad, but strong. Congratulations!
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