KKE

Spinner - no need for apologies :-) I try really hard to be open to everyone's opinions and thoughts here and try very hard to process and take on board what people are saying rather than get defensive. Not always easy but I do try as I get how all this is meant.

Wisconsin - it's quite a "sobering" thought really, mayhem is only ever one drink away.......

I guess I just love him, am happy with how things are and want things to progress to the next "stage"..... Perhaps it's naive of me but it's just how I feel :/

lillamy

It's all your choice. That's the scary part. And there are no guarantees. That's another scary part.

I have a very good friend who is an RA. She has been sober for ten years. Never took a relapse. Not one. Not when she lost her parents. Not when one of her kids was in a car accident. Not when another kid tried to commit suicide. Not when she was raped by a stranger. Not when her marriage was strained and she didn't know if it would survive.

Im pretty sure her husband is glad he didn't leave her in those difficult early days of recovery.

But that's just one story. And you know the statistics for long-term sobriety.

SparkleKitty

It's okay to love him and want things to progress and hope for the best. If you want to be with him for the long term it's also important to accept him for exactly who he is, right now. And right now, it sounds like he is someone for whom marriage isn't on the horizon.

Doesn't mean he won't change his mind. But best not to bank on it. Sending strength and patience your way.

KKE

Is it wrong to have set a deadline in my head? Earlier this year we both went through quite a difficult time and since then, I dunno, I guess I feel the need to move forward. With or without him..... Hopefully with of course.

SparkleKitty

I don't think there is anything wrong with having an internal timeline. You have things you want in life and you can't count on other people to give them to you when you want them. This ain't no dress rehearsal.