spiderqueen

Broken, please listen carefully to the wisdom above, straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak...

I actually asked my XA to let me go, hoping he had enough love and respect for me to acknowledge that his actions were never going to match his words, and he couldn't keep on hurting and disappointing me.

But no, I had to do the breaking up. It's ugly, either way. It just plain sucks when you love someone, and they are hell bent on destroying themselves, and nothing you do or say makes a difference.

We can only hope that, like Eddie, our XA's will one day grab onto a better life for themselves. But whether or not they do, we can ENSURE that we will.

Take care of yourself! and (((hugs))) to you.

healthyagain

I am sorry that you feel broken, but you are actually lucky because things DO get worse. Much worse. Because, you may wake up one day after 7 years of marriage and wonder, Where did my life go? Why don't I have any children yet? Then you may realize that your "soul mate" actually has another soul mate, that he has been married to a lady called Beer, that he spends nights with her, that she has taken his manhood, and is slowly sucking life out of him.

An I have a confession to make: I actually envy people who got dumped by their alcoholics. Because I simply have no strength to make that move myself. My AH is still not "bad enough," as they say.

OnawaMiniya

Hi, Hon...the sentence I bold faced above alarmed me, if I can be honest... I say this gently and with loving intentions.... no other person can do anything for you. Just like you can't make him stop drinking, it is a choice he has to make. I say this, lying on the bed right now next to my alcoholic husband. I feel such resentment toward him. But I'm taking control...i will get out of this one day. Run far and run fast...

Do you know someone else you can take to that show?

Wishing only the best for you. Peace.

BrokenInPieces

Today I felt like a weight has been lifted. I feel free. And I will admit that I feel a little guilty for feeling that way.

I know the feelings will come in waves as the days pass and reminders seep in, but I had a surprisingly good day today. I got a good night's sleep last night and woke up feeling rested and somewhat content. I felt strong all day, laughed with my co-workers, went to dinner with a couple friends, received texts from family, and spoke with a friend on the phone for a couple hours when I got home from dinner and will meet her for coffee tomorrow morning. I'm meeting another friend for lunch tomorrow and then going for a long walk at my favorite place. I'll spend the rest of the day catching up on things around the house, then get a good night's rest for an early hike Sunday morning. Next weekend I have plans to visit family out of state.

The weekends will be the hardest. Even having been together just over 2 years and only living a couple of miles from each other, we only saw each other on the weekends. We're both very busy and independent people, so that's what worked for us. I guess in some ways that might help in healing - I won't really miss him during the week because I never saw him during the week anyway, aside from a random dinner here and there. I mean, I'll miss him, sure... but I don't have many memories attached to Mon-Fri.

I can only hope that the feeling of strength I had today will stay with me through the tough days (and holidays) ahead.

Jd77

I'm finding that on days I'm feeling sad and weak I think about the days I've felt strong and sometime that alone will help me to feel better. My situation is so similar to yours. My ABF and I didn't spend a lot of time together during the week but saw each other on weekends. The weekends have become very difficult so I'm staying as busy as possible and trying to focus on one hour at a time. I know life will get better. I know it and the same goes for you. There is a better life than one with an alcoholic.