So sad.
 

I'm telling my BF he has to move out today. I don't know whether to try to work it out after he has his own place or let him go. He's a good person and I know he loves me. This is about self-preservation and protecting myself and my mental health.

I know I'll be okay, but for now I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out.

Our hearts are with you.

Remember this is about you taking care of you -- not him nor any drama.

Maybe jump ahead to Step 11? That always gives me some crazy wonderful results.

Step 11:

Sought thru prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

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Dear God, please guide readerbaby on Your Will and Your Way, and give her the wisdom and power to follow them.

Thanks, just reading that made me tear up. I appreciate your kindness.

aint nothing but a messenger.

Sort of Balaam's ass, if you caught that story.

Go To The Source.

Sending you the best. Step 11 a good one.

I've realized that no matter what I do I am not capable of detachment in a relationship with someone with so many mental issues. My own issues don't allow me to do that, and it's something I need to work on. Alone. I'm not breaking up with him just because of his actions, but mine also.

I think i understand. Staying sober is hard enough. More so being wit someone else who is actively using. And being co dependent.

I am trying to find the "courage to change the things that I can" and finding it difficult myself. Hugs.

readerbaby, sometimes the right thing is also the hardest thing. I have a strong feeling that this is one of those times.

Remember the serenity prayer....

sincerely,
dandylion

I think this is a huge insight readerbaby, I think you've stumbled across an awareness about yourself that will make a tremendous difference in how you define happiness going forward from this point in life. Not saying this type of introspection is easy, just that going through it & healing it will likely bring you such a greater, healthier sense of peace & happiness afterward. Rootin' for ya!!

You know, I told our counselor at marrital counseling the other day (in front of my husband) that I am not saying I want to split up because I love him less, or that he is a terrible person, or out of anger or spite. I HAVE to split up if he is going to continue to drink to preserve my own mental health and that of my children. It was as simple as that. The counselor could see that and for the first time I think my husband was actually listening and understanding this because I was not talking to him, I was talking about myself to the counselor.
I believe it was an eye opener to both myself and to him. I will always love him, he is my husband and the father of our children. However, for my mental health if I have to split from him I will. Love does not trump every single thing in life. It does not get you through your day. It's nice to have and we all need love but in a stable and loving environment.
Good Luck and God Bless. My heart goes out to you!

You know what the really good news is?
That you don't have to figure it all out today. Or even tomorrow.
When you're lost in the woods, the best thing to do is stop. Figure out where you are. And then move forward in the chosen direction with determination.