Seeing problem drinking as an "imperfection" or "flaw"
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Seeing problem drinking as an "imperfection" or "flaw"
Anyone have an alcoholic in their life who does this, or used to? If addressed about their drinking they say "Everybody has imperfections", "We all have flaws", etc.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
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I have problems with "perfect"
Best I can do is look hard at my flaws and the repercussions from past bad behaviour, along with any future considerations of going down that track again.
I can really only be honest with myself, not someone elses expectations of me.
Can't remember who said this......'In seeking to be Gods, we may become less than men' (women)
Best I can do is look hard at my flaws and the repercussions from past bad behaviour, along with any future considerations of going down that track again.
I can really only be honest with myself, not someone elses expectations of me.
Can't remember who said this......'In seeking to be Gods, we may become less than men' (women)
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,796
Originally Posted by Bubovski 
I have problems with "perfect"
Best I can do is look hard at my flaws and the repercussions from past bad behaviour, along with any future considerations of going down that track again.
I can really only be honest with myself, not someone elses expectations of me.
Can't remember who said this......'In seeking to be Gods, we may become less than men' (women)
Best I can do is look hard at my flaws and the repercussions from past bad behaviour, along with any future considerations of going down that track again.
I can really only be honest with myself, not someone elses expectations of me.
Can't remember who said this......'In seeking to be Gods, we may become less than men' (women)
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: uk
Posts: 368
Originally Posted by Bubovski
I have problems with "perfect"
Best I can do is look hard at my flaws and the repercussions from past bad behaviour, along with any future considerations of going down that track again.
I can really only be honest with myself, not someone elses expectations of me.
Can't remember who said this......'In seeking to be Gods, we may become less than men' (women)
Best I can do is look hard at my flaws and the repercussions from past bad behaviour, along with any future considerations of going down that track again.
I can really only be honest with myself, not someone elses expectations of me.
Can't remember who said this......'In seeking to be Gods, we may become less than men' (women)
Anyway... I don't see the problem with thinking of drinking as an imperfection or a flaw. PROVIDED that's not used as an excuse not to address it. If he's addressing it, then it might be better for him to think of it as a flaw rather than a personality failure.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Indiana, IL
Posts: 424
I have a few friends who justify their eating habits with the fact that they don't drink or smoke. One is morbidly obese and says exactly that, "everyone has some weakness". She is even required to buy two plane tickets when she travels on airplanes.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Boy have I heard this one. The thing is, when you have an imperfection or a flaw (which we all do), it does not affect everyone else around you. It does not destroy your family. It does not tell lies and destroy like a tornado. That is what alcoholism does.
We went to counseling yesterday and I thought this was quite perceptive. He said, "You have to decide on what you can live with and what you won't. The rest of the stuff we can easily work on, but those things are qualifiers that cannot change from day to day."
I told him and my husband I will no longer live with him drinking. I am willing to work on all the other stuff, but if he has to do that I want a divorce. That is my qualifier. I have now told my husband, our counselor, my family and his. I hope he realizes I mean business. I don't think that will keep him from drinking but I have drawn a line in my own heart and know that I will act if it happens again. I told the counselor it is like carrying around a 50,000 lb gorilla on my back I cannot get off and that it is time to get that gorilla off and be free of it one way or another. That gorilla is much more than a flaw or an imperfection.
We went to counseling yesterday and I thought this was quite perceptive. He said, "You have to decide on what you can live with and what you won't. The rest of the stuff we can easily work on, but those things are qualifiers that cannot change from day to day."
I told him and my husband I will no longer live with him drinking. I am willing to work on all the other stuff, but if he has to do that I want a divorce. That is my qualifier. I have now told my husband, our counselor, my family and his. I hope he realizes I mean business. I don't think that will keep him from drinking but I have drawn a line in my own heart and know that I will act if it happens again. I told the counselor it is like carrying around a 50,000 lb gorilla on my back I cannot get off and that it is time to get that gorilla off and be free of it one way or another. That gorilla is much more than a flaw or an imperfection.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Yeah, mine was always very quick to go on the offensive with the old standby "Oh, what, do you think you're perfect?" And he'd point out all my imperfections- I bite my nails, etc.
The police never came to the house in the middle of the night due to my nailbiting. Nothing but quacking.
The police never came to the house in the middle of the night due to my nailbiting. Nothing but quacking.
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