Little update ....

Old 10-27-2013, 09:48 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 188
Little update ....

Hi all

Haven't posted for ages it seems, but not much has changed, well I say that, but ....

We heard via the grapevine, a few weeks back now, that stepdaughter's mum is awaiting a detox bed, but because she's on benefits (which she isn't at the moment - all her money got stopped in July because she had been claiming benefits for her son who doesn't live with her. She hasn't paid her rent either and is facing eviction) she has to apply for funding from the Government, to the tune of 20,000 for a 12 week stay in detox. She's been told that if she gets this funding, then this will be her one and only chance at detox, so we're not holding our breath at a happy outcome as statistically, a first attempt at detox and rehab isn't successful. SD is pretty angry that the Government are likely to pay these costs out of taxpayers money!!

So, that's the situation with mum. We've also heard that she is extremely unwell, and has lost even more weight. She is being 'looked after' by her 'friend', and has sent a couple of texts to SD in recent weeks, on his phone. Two weeks ago, she sent me a text, via his phone, saying I was 'vile and deluded' because I had text him to ask why the child support payments had stopped. I politely pointed out that firstly she doesn't have a phone number so I couldn't text her directly, and secondly it was a reasonable question to ask. She only paid 2.50 per week, straight from her benefits, but we gave SD that money every month as extra pocket money. Anyway, she said 'her dad and I conceived her, therefore WE ARE HER PARENTS, YOU ARE NOT, and you are never to contact my friends about these issues again'. I then lost it a little and text back saying that I didn't know how she could call herself a parent when she had only contacted her daughter 3 times in 6 months, showed no interest in her daughter, and couldn't even send the measly amount of child support. I told her she was the deluded one and next time she considers calling me deluded, she should take a long hard look at herself in the mirror. Didn't hear back, and I don't even know if she was shown the texts I sent because her 'friend' likes to shield her from anything nasty, so may have decided not to show them to her. Whatever, I don't really care to be honest.

But, it seems stepdaughter does. She knows about the text her mum sent me, and on Friday she was out with her boyfriend watching him play rugby, and sent me a text during the evening saying "I've just sent 'mum' a rage text". I asked her what it was and she sent me the text she'd sent to her mum via her mum's friend's phone. Oh lord, it was pretty bad!! She called her an "alcoholic drug addicted *****" and told her "how dare you call my stepmother deluded and vile" and went on a full blown rage about how she ruined her childhood. There were strong swear words in it too. She told her mum to go to hell, and that she wouldn't believe she was clean unless she had scientific/medical proof. I have to say I was pretty shocked when I first read it, but then thought "good on ya kiddo, say it how it is!". Whether mum's 'friend' showed it to her or not of course remains unknown. I would hope that he did, but so far there's been no response. SD said if her mum responded and told her off for the content, she would tell her to stick it where the sun don't shine!!

We are actually very proud of this kid, for standing up for herself and for telling her mother the raw ugly truth. That took guts, and she is going to grow into one hell of a woman! She's actually doing really well at the moment, and the new boyfriend has done heaps for her self esteem.

But, it's a journey isn't it, one that will probably never be over. I hope she stays this strong, I really do.
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