Nightowl

Well after the big discussion about his drinking apparently he is leaving me. He just called to inform me of that.

He has nowhere to go and no money to speak of so I have no idea where he will be going. I don't know whether to be distraught or relieved. I feel so bad. I knew he drank from the beginning. I just didn't know exactly what that meant.

I'm very very very sad and worried. Worried for him. And worried for me.

Magichappens

((Nightowl))
When we begin to change, there is resistance. In a relationship full of dysfunction, when one person begins to pull away from the sickness, it unbalances the rest of the participants. Any behavior, from threats, tears, anger, etc. will be used to pull us back in. Alanon teaches us to not react to these manipulations. We can only be responsible for our recovery, not how others will react to it. We have a choice to stay in the sickness or risk that we will be better off in recovery. That is not an easy choice. I have come to believe that I will be alright if I am true to myself first. Working the Alanon program and going to meetings has given me more courage to face these decisions. It takes time, but it definitely has worked for me and many others. Hugs, Magic

Lorelai

(((Nightowl)))
I'm so sorry that you are sad and worried. Hang in there. I'm thinking of you.
L

Nightowl

Unfortunately I will be envisioning him getting stinking drunk tonight, drowning his sorrows and it makes me sick.

Dammit, I knew he drank from the beginning. I am so mad at myself. I think my fear of being alone took over.

Magichappens

Do you have someone you can spend some time with or something to occupy your mind so you don't have to obsess on him so much? Maybe you can treat yourself to a nice meal or a bubble bath tonight. Do something for you. You deserve it, and it usually helps me feel better about things to treat myself well.

Nightowl

I'll try Magic. He said I am driving him away. I am. I just want to spend one weekend in peace. Not worry about where we are going and if beer will be available. I'm worn out by it all.

And i just want to spend some peaceful times with my kids. No beer-enhanced arguments about the world, presidential elections, etc.

dax

Think, think think. Do you want to spend years worrying where he is and if he is drinking. You are going to br worried and sad for while. Do nice things for yourself. You are worth having a SANE RESONSIBLE PARTNER. It might be best to turn this one over to God and let go. hugs dax

Magichappens

If you want that, don't answer the phone til you are ready, cause it will ring and he will be quacking. LOL. Hugs and enjoy your peace while you can. Magic

rivercitybelle

Don't be too mad at yourself. I thought I was marrying a social drinker only to come to the realization I had a raging AH. My path was different than his... so he is now my ex-AH of 4 years, who still occasionally tries to quack at me... luckily it's thru email. You know, there is a wonderful button on most mail systems... delete.
Hang in there, it does get better eventually

Nightowl

my girls and I went out for dinner and then spent two hours in the bookstore. It was heaven. We laughed, we hugged. We are now getting ready for bed. No word from him. His son called earlier and thankfully didn't ask many questions. He knows something is up. His dad has his cell phone turned off. I can't believe I haven't heard from him yet.

I hope I can stay strong through this. It's sooo hard.

renee18

you can stay strong it sounds like to me that you have you children to lean on for support and that is good and the night out was a good idea. Things will get better hang in there
Shana