In A Dark Place
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 45
In A Dark Place
So many things going on and I can't shake this dark place that I'm in. My daughter's one year birthday is next week. I took so much flack from his mom for not wanting to invite my XAH. Well I invited him and he doesn't want to come. Why am I surprised?
Daughter is having seizures, so I'm following up with the pediatric neurologist. May be looking at epilepsy. More tests to come this next month. XAH ranted about it and said I have munchausen by proxy syndrome. It's obviously quacking but very hurtful.
My XAH's other baby (conceived during his affair) is due in the next couple of weeks. It's none of my business but hard not to think about given that her due date is two days before mine was last year. He isn't involved with the other woman anymore except for the baby.
We have been divorced for a couple of months. Everyone is telling me to move on. I don't know what specific actions to take to do that. I could really use some suggestions as far as some specific actions to take. Please keep in mind that I have a one year old so finding a sitter isn't the easiest. I'm tired of being so sad and crying all the time. I read books as much as I can and I'm seeing a counselor. Those around me say I'm stronger but I feel like I'm putting on a front. They don't see my down moments when I cry myself to sleep at night. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Daughter is having seizures, so I'm following up with the pediatric neurologist. May be looking at epilepsy. More tests to come this next month. XAH ranted about it and said I have munchausen by proxy syndrome. It's obviously quacking but very hurtful.
My XAH's other baby (conceived during his affair) is due in the next couple of weeks. It's none of my business but hard not to think about given that her due date is two days before mine was last year. He isn't involved with the other woman anymore except for the baby.
We have been divorced for a couple of months. Everyone is telling me to move on. I don't know what specific actions to take to do that. I could really use some suggestions as far as some specific actions to take. Please keep in mind that I have a one year old so finding a sitter isn't the easiest. I'm tired of being so sad and crying all the time. I read books as much as I can and I'm seeing a counselor. Those around me say I'm stronger but I feel like I'm putting on a front. They don't see my down moments when I cry myself to sleep at night. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I'm so sorry to read about your DD's medical issues... sending lots of prayers your way.
You have a lot on your plate, so give yourself some slack. If it were me I think I'd go for baby steps - make time for yourself after the baby is in bed to read a good magazine, take a bubble bath, journal, exercise (love those endorphins, they really do help!), a pedicure, yoga, meditate, etc. Little stuff that allows you to focus on yourself for a while and gets you used to feeling ok about making yourself & your needs a priority.
Do you have any friends with children around the same age as DD that you can reach out to for socialization on the weekends? Maybe you can do short play dates & trade days so that you can each get a short break for yourselves?
You have a lot on your plate, so give yourself some slack. If it were me I think I'd go for baby steps - make time for yourself after the baby is in bed to read a good magazine, take a bubble bath, journal, exercise (love those endorphins, they really do help!), a pedicure, yoga, meditate, etc. Little stuff that allows you to focus on yourself for a while and gets you used to feeling ok about making yourself & your needs a priority.
Do you have any friends with children around the same age as DD that you can reach out to for socialization on the weekends? Maybe you can do short play dates & trade days so that you can each get a short break for yourselves?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: RhodeIsland
Posts: 175
Pookie,
In your hands, I'm certain your daughter is getting the best care she can.
no shortage of single mothers exists in this day and age. You're not alone, and you don't have to be. Try to see if there is a way to meet up with others and have some social support - where you can bring your child and socialize. It might be as simple as befriending women in the grocery store, or perhaps organizing a potluck (they often have bulletain boards in local grocers for posting) where you could meet other single mothers and befriend them. I know it probably sounds crazy and unlikely, but there are many others out there feeling exactly what you're feeling. If not for this forum being created, we would not be here. We would not be in contact. Someone took that step created a way for us to correspond.
What do you want in your life? What would make it better?
In your hands, I'm certain your daughter is getting the best care she can.
no shortage of single mothers exists in this day and age. You're not alone, and you don't have to be. Try to see if there is a way to meet up with others and have some social support - where you can bring your child and socialize. It might be as simple as befriending women in the grocery store, or perhaps organizing a potluck (they often have bulletain boards in local grocers for posting) where you could meet other single mothers and befriend them. I know it probably sounds crazy and unlikely, but there are many others out there feeling exactly what you're feeling. If not for this forum being created, we would not be here. We would not be in contact. Someone took that step created a way for us to correspond.
What do you want in your life? What would make it better?
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