Diagnosed with low level depression....
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Diagnosed with low level depression....
The therapist said I have low level depression.
It explains everything.
She also said my mom seems to have had untreated major depression disorder all her life.
It explains everything.
I had suspicions but its different when a PhD tells it to your face.
She said I could try two weeks to do everything in my power to feel good - but who am I kidding? I have a low state of mind most of the time, even if there are no 'stressors'. It takes the gym or something extraordinary for me to feel good, and it lasts for a few hours, then I am again in a gray place.
To that the therapist say that we only care about ME and about ME feeling better.
I am sad now thinking I have told myself many times that I am lazy or dumb and all the time it has been the depression... its not even sadness, just hopelessness, not seeing the point on anything, doing things really slowly/late...basically dragging myself around. The thing with low level depression is that one is functional so it is easy to attribute low moods to lack of character or problems, etc...
Anyway I am about to email the therapist and tell her I am tired of suffering and will accept the help she suggests.
So this will be the second time I am on antidepressants.
It explains everything.
She also said my mom seems to have had untreated major depression disorder all her life.
It explains everything.
I had suspicions but its different when a PhD tells it to your face.
She said I could try two weeks to do everything in my power to feel good - but who am I kidding? I have a low state of mind most of the time, even if there are no 'stressors'. It takes the gym or something extraordinary for me to feel good, and it lasts for a few hours, then I am again in a gray place.
To that the therapist say that we only care about ME and about ME feeling better.
I am sad now thinking I have told myself many times that I am lazy or dumb and all the time it has been the depression... its not even sadness, just hopelessness, not seeing the point on anything, doing things really slowly/late...basically dragging myself around. The thing with low level depression is that one is functional so it is easy to attribute low moods to lack of character or problems, etc...
Anyway I am about to email the therapist and tell her I am tired of suffering and will accept the help she suggests.
So this will be the second time I am on antidepressants.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SoCal, California
Posts: 990
I take an anti depressant - lexapro. No side effects and it works well.
It was prescribed by my doctor. I resisted for a long time. Read lots of bad stuff on the internet and none of it came true for me.
Now I wish I had taken it sooner.
It was prescribed by my doctor. I resisted for a long time. Read lots of bad stuff on the internet and none of it came true for me.
Now I wish I had taken it sooner.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 94
I started an antidepressant a few months ago, have previously had to take them too. This time I felt I wanted to deal with my low mood by myself but eventually I decided I needed some help and it has worked. I think it boosts your natural inbuilt resilience. I still have the same stresses in my life but that feeling of hopelessness is no longer attached to them. Hopelessness is a horrible feeling....I hope you feel better soon. Sending you hugs x
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,868
I truly believe that anti-depressants saved my life. There is no shame in taking prescribed medication as it is prescribed and feeling better. Just as a diabetic needs to take a pill or insulin to produce what his pancreas won't, some of us need to take a pill to produce what our synapses don't. It's okay.
You are such a talented, beautiful young woman, TakingCharge. You have so much life ahead of you. Do whatever it takes to take control of your one beautiful life. (((HUGS)))
You are such a talented, beautiful young woman, TakingCharge. You have so much life ahead of you. Do whatever it takes to take control of your one beautiful life. (((HUGS)))
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 109
I totally agree that medicating for depression can be lifesaving and a very wise decision.
Also, TakingCharge, it sounded like a few of the symptoms you described matched up with a group of symptoms that stem from childhood emotional neglect. The concept really helped me, but is kind of obscure, so I thought I'd pass it along.
"Childhood emotional neglect" is a term coined by Dr. Jonice Webb. She links emotional neglect in childhood to adults who feel "unworthy, disconnected, and unfulfilled" and who struggle with self-discipline and self-care. That really resonated with me. I had often had that dissatisfied and disconnected feeling at times in my life. Looking back I think it was a low-level depression as well, but I feel like I'm now getting to the root of it. On her website, emotionalneglect.com, Dr. Webb has a questionnaire:
[Quoting from her website:]
"Emotional Neglect Questionnaire
Circle the questions to which your answer is YES.
Do You:
Sometimes feel like you don’t belong when with your family or friends
Pride yourself on not relying upon others
Have difficulty asking for help
Have friends or family who complain that you are aloof or distant
Feel you have not met your potential in life
Often just want to be left alone
Secretly feel that you may be a fraud
Tend to feel uncomfortable in social situations
Often feel disappointed with, or angry at, yourself
Judge yourself more harshly than you judge others
Compare yourself to others and often find yourself sadly lacking
Find it easier to love animals than people
Often feel irritable or unhappy for no apparent reason
Have trouble knowing what you’re feeling
Have trouble identifying your strengths and weaknesses
Sometimes feel like you’re on the outside looking in
Believe you’re one of those people who could easily live as a hermit
Have trouble calming yourself
Feel there’s something holding you back from being present in the moment
At times feel empty inside
Secretly feel there’s something wrong with you
Struggle with self-discipline
Look back over your circled (YES) answers. These answers give you a window into the areas in which you may have experienced Emotional Neglect as a child. If you’ve circled 6 or more, this indicates that your Childhood Emotional Neglect was extensive."
[End of quoting from emotionalneglect.com]
I bought her book, and found it very helpful in understanding my history. In fact, my mother used to brag a bit that her parenting philosophy was "benign neglect." I used to smile wincingly at that term and now I know that neglect can be really damaging in insidious ways. If your mother had untreated depression when you were growing up, you were probably not getting a lot of emotional support from her.
I totally agree about taking your doctors advice and getting all the help you can get. One thing that has also made a surprisingly huge difference for me is making sure my Vitamin D levels are OK. It's definitely NOT a substitute for anti-depressants, but I know that my energy and mood are definitely improved when I'm taking vit D.
Wishing you well,
~ B
Also, TakingCharge, it sounded like a few of the symptoms you described matched up with a group of symptoms that stem from childhood emotional neglect. The concept really helped me, but is kind of obscure, so I thought I'd pass it along.
"Childhood emotional neglect" is a term coined by Dr. Jonice Webb. She links emotional neglect in childhood to adults who feel "unworthy, disconnected, and unfulfilled" and who struggle with self-discipline and self-care. That really resonated with me. I had often had that dissatisfied and disconnected feeling at times in my life. Looking back I think it was a low-level depression as well, but I feel like I'm now getting to the root of it. On her website, emotionalneglect.com, Dr. Webb has a questionnaire:
[Quoting from her website:]
"Emotional Neglect Questionnaire
Circle the questions to which your answer is YES.
Do You:
Sometimes feel like you don’t belong when with your family or friends
Pride yourself on not relying upon others
Have difficulty asking for help
Have friends or family who complain that you are aloof or distant
Feel you have not met your potential in life
Often just want to be left alone
Secretly feel that you may be a fraud
Tend to feel uncomfortable in social situations
Often feel disappointed with, or angry at, yourself
Judge yourself more harshly than you judge others
Compare yourself to others and often find yourself sadly lacking
Find it easier to love animals than people
Often feel irritable or unhappy for no apparent reason
Have trouble knowing what you’re feeling
Have trouble identifying your strengths and weaknesses
Sometimes feel like you’re on the outside looking in
Believe you’re one of those people who could easily live as a hermit
Have trouble calming yourself
Feel there’s something holding you back from being present in the moment
At times feel empty inside
Secretly feel there’s something wrong with you
Struggle with self-discipline
Look back over your circled (YES) answers. These answers give you a window into the areas in which you may have experienced Emotional Neglect as a child. If you’ve circled 6 or more, this indicates that your Childhood Emotional Neglect was extensive."
[End of quoting from emotionalneglect.com]
I bought her book, and found it very helpful in understanding my history. In fact, my mother used to brag a bit that her parenting philosophy was "benign neglect." I used to smile wincingly at that term and now I know that neglect can be really damaging in insidious ways. If your mother had untreated depression when you were growing up, you were probably not getting a lot of emotional support from her.
I totally agree about taking your doctors advice and getting all the help you can get. One thing that has also made a surprisingly huge difference for me is making sure my Vitamin D levels are OK. It's definitely NOT a substitute for anti-depressants, but I know that my energy and mood are definitely improved when I'm taking vit D.
Wishing you well,
~ B
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
Been long time myself and i believe it takes time to look and deal with the fall out.
I also suffered with depression for years off and on - find out what works most of the time. I found that it is recurrent and I am always aware of the signs that it has returned. Right now, with current circumstances, it is when I am tired.
It is genetic but controllable - find how to do so. Depression and A go hand and hand. Acceptance that it is present in your life and learning to cope is important to survival. It is possible and doable.
Do not be discouraged (eventho it part of your nature now) resist and you stay in control - believe it. You can control how this affects you. The more you accept and manage - the easier it becomes over time.
You have been here awhile for a reason - keep posting and let us know how you are managing. I will provide support as long as you need it.
I also suffered with depression for years off and on - find out what works most of the time. I found that it is recurrent and I am always aware of the signs that it has returned. Right now, with current circumstances, it is when I am tired.
It is genetic but controllable - find how to do so. Depression and A go hand and hand. Acceptance that it is present in your life and learning to cope is important to survival. It is possible and doable.
Do not be discouraged (eventho it part of your nature now) resist and you stay in control - believe it. You can control how this affects you. The more you accept and manage - the easier it becomes over time.
You have been here awhile for a reason - keep posting and let us know how you are managing. I will provide support as long as you need it.
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Thanks all for your support. suki your post made me cry, thank you for showing me compassion (and tough love) ALL the time I have been in SR!
BTheChange I answered YES to ALL the questions. Thank you for sharing that. I have been low in Vit D, I need to check if my levels are fine now, I was under treatment for a while.
Thank you Kassie. Indeed I arrived here suffering due to an alcoholic, in reality it was ME who needed help and I still need it.
This year things got worse due to a change of country, lack of real life support, a violent assault, a sociopath that happened to cross my path and all the while not missing a single day at a very stressful job. I swear someone needs to give me a medal.
And now low temperatures/Winter when I am used to sun 365 days a year... in fact I was thinking it has been a miracle that I have been able to function going through so many intense things at the same time...
BTheChange I answered YES to ALL the questions. Thank you for sharing that. I have been low in Vit D, I need to check if my levels are fine now, I was under treatment for a while.
Thank you Kassie. Indeed I arrived here suffering due to an alcoholic, in reality it was ME who needed help and I still need it.
This year things got worse due to a change of country, lack of real life support, a violent assault, a sociopath that happened to cross my path and all the while not missing a single day at a very stressful job. I swear someone needs to give me a medal.
And now low temperatures/Winter when I am used to sun 365 days a year... in fact I was thinking it has been a miracle that I have been able to function going through so many intense things at the same time...
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
I get sad thinking about my mom's missed opportunities... and my own... but I am glad I am still in time to live differently... maybe I get closer to goals that I have abandoned and are a cause of frustration for me
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