Sister is at it again with the hate messages
 

My alcoholic sister who lives in another state seems to be out of control again. She is drunk in the mornings as well as evenings. I have told her I will not talk to her when she is drunk and reiterate this when she calls me drunk. In response she has been filling my voice mail up with hate messages. She left me 10 messages the other night and several today. The content is how much she hates me, mocks my life, work, husband, and tells me my children are brats (one is a baby), and blames me for her alienation from her adult daughter.

I know I shouldn't listen to the messages, because they make me feel horrible for days, but I can't stop myself.

I just don't know what else to do.

I have thought about Al Anon, but with a baby, and a preschooler it really isn't feasible, other than doing something online.

Check out the app Mr Number, it s free and you can block her number and texts several ways including sending them to voicemail or hanging up on her.

Tip
 

I'm new here, but I found a list of Al-Anon meetings in my area, and several of them offer babysitting. Not an issue for me, as my child is grown, but I imagine there is at least one meeting in your area that does. Look for a BS or BBS next the the listing.

Ah, yes, the hate filled voice message....actually, you can learn to not listen to them. We, Mr. Seren and I, would get them from his son on a fairly regular basis when he was actively drinking and drugging.

We realized that he was really not going to say anything constructive or that we needed to hear, so we simply stopped listening. If he went through one of these periods, we would go many weeks to months at a time not listening to them. If we hadn't heard from him in a while and he called, Mr. S would pick up. If he was respectful and not abusive, they would talk; if he was abusive and rage-filled, Mr. S would hang up and not answer again for several weeks.

I know it's hard....believe me, I do. It actually takes practice. Maybe just today, try not to listen to anything she has to say. See how it feels. You may find you really enjoy the peace :)