Lorelai

I've come such a long way and I know I have a long way to go. That's really the beauty of it - that there is more to come. It's exciting.

When I first came to these boards and to AlAnon, I was a mess. My AH was drunk every day and, even though I knew it was a bad situation, I couldn't get out of it. I wanted some way to make it stop.

The funny, amazing, magical thing about all of this is that my entire life has changed. It is not all about my AH and drinking. My relationships with my family, my husband, my friends and even strangers are all different. The most important thing though is that my relationship with myself has changed. I am a person of my own with my my own feelings and my own desires and my own life. I treat myself with the same respect and caring that I've always reserved for more "important" people.

I still live with my AH and he stills drinks everyday and I still have my bad days but the amazing thing is that I rarely even think about his drinking anymore. Whether he will quit or not or is drunk or not is really not all that important. I have more important things to think about.

I want to grab every woman in the world (with an addict or not) and say "DO THIS!" It will empower you - it will free you. You will be surprised at how amazing you really are.
It's a great day with many more great days to come. I hope that everyone who reads this post will do one special thing for themselves today and then thank yourself for taking the time to be good to you - you deserve it.
L

Gabe

God, I love posts like this, I swear I do.
You really have come a long way Lorelai.
Good for you!
I am so glad you're here.
Gabe

amarie

You are such an inspiration! I hope that one day I can be where you are today. I am trying to do more for myself and take care of myself, but he still drives me crazy. We're on vacation together this week and I'm real nervous about it. I told him that if his drinking gets out of control, that I will go off on my own, maybe go to the casino or up to the Thousand Islands. I won't waste my vacation watching him get drunk. I might even go golfing by myself. I really don't need him to do the things that I enjoy doing. Sometimes I enjoy them alot more without him! So we'll see how this week goes. Tomorrow is an all about me day--I am going to lunch with friends, getting my nails done and then my hair cut and highlighted!

CAdrmn

Self-discovery and recovery are so exciting! Yes, they are scary, but that goes with it I guess. The changes in my life since I started going to Al-Anon 6 months are amazing. I do not have any "active" alcoholics in my life, they are in recovery or sober without it. But as anyone who has lived thru recovery of a loved one can tell you, sobriety doesn't have a whole lot to do with the problems going away. None of those people have changed a bit in the past six months - but I have! I am constantly amazed at how I am handling the same crisis with such a different attitude.
My SO is a 4 1/2 year sober alcoholic. He comes and goes in my life depending on his moods. His goings used to absolutely kill me and cause me weeks of grief and despair. It still hurts me, but I am learning to fill up my life with other people and meetings and my children and my house and not obsess on him. Some day I'm sure I will be filling it up with another man but I'm not ready to let go of him yet.
Good luck to all of you on this path to recovery ~ Keep smiling and praying. Wave to those you meet along the way. Lend a helping hand to those walking with you and we'll all get there together! I am so happy to have found all of you to walk with

H&K!

McKrazy

Lorelie- you ROCK! I'm proud of you!
Pam

Weasel4IR

Hey Lorelai,
You are such an inspiration to me, my husband and I are changing in our own ways to, yes I do adore my tryingagain but I am not his doormat and he does not make me one either!

I try not to worry about it if he brings home another 12 of Mr. Bud Light I have spent to many years doing that, it got me nowhere and now I just say "it is what it is". I love him dearly and always will. I have my babies (4 dogs) that I play with and my books and sometimse TV.

I will support him, love him but he has to do this it has to be his choice and his choice alone, and right now he is making good choices. I no longer feel like I am :sink down in a hole, lol.

I have my own issues right now anyway, tomorrow I have to go for an MRI for a pinched nerve in my back that hurts like heck. I am just praying for the best but I am scared really scared of things like this. I have had this going on now for well over 2 months, and it just plain hurts and feels like my shoulder and arm is on a lot of the time, I will get through this, I am a strong woman.

You, SR and others like you rock and I just love coming in here, if nothing more than to give others hope and inspiration.

Love to you all,
Penelope - feeling ' y

Lorelai

Thanks everyone.
I know that my situation is easier than many (my AH is not abusive - yet.) I also know that my codie tendencies run deep - maybe deeper than most. Step 3 was a life saver for me. It made everything snap into focus.
I want to thank every person who posts on these boards. Every single post - from the new people to the most experienced - teaches me something and gives me something to think about.
I definately have a long way to go but I feel like I'm making progress and that feels great.
L

Magichappens

You have helped me a lot. I am so glad that you have your life back. Hugs, Magic

jessieandme2003

Your post brings such happiness to so many of us.

I am so happy for you, and for everyone else who has found peace through Al Anon.

I love this program, this group, deeply. I talk about it all the time to people I am close to, about codependence and the traits I know I have. I think so many others would benefit from the things we learn here, even if their problem is not an addict but some other relationship issue. I do not preach, I just like to tell them that it has saved me.

We all can enjoy this moment of feeling good for having Al Anon and each other.